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Anyone have some time to kill? BF called me ex's nickname...Should I be worried?


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Posted

Sorry, this is SUPER long. Please take the time to read the whole story and then give me your opinion, Thank you so much!

 

Back story: I have been dating a boy for 4 months now. We have an especially close relationship and see each other every day. Around 4 to 5 years ago he dated a girl for a year, they were 14/15 at the time. After a year she broke up with him. For the year following their relationship they were friends with benefits, and hooked up (sex) twice a month. This friends with benefits ended after a year. Additionally they remained friends, and he talked to her just as often as his male friends, about 2-3 times a week on the phone, and more often online (AIM). So, for the past 4ish years they have had this friendship. Meanwhile they have both dated other people, etc.

 

So heres the issue: Ever since my boyfriend was young he has called his family dog 'bobo' as a pet name. When he began dating his ex, he started to call her bobo as well, it also happens to be her initials twice. (She didn't know this was his pet's nickname as well)

Her called her this nickname only occasionally (maybe 10% of the time) while they were dating, but when they became friends it became his regular nickname for her (Using it 80% or more of the time).

 

So, fast forward to the present. My bf and I have been dating for four months. His pet name for me is boo, something silly we both call each other that we got from a song. (50% percent of the time we use other nicknames, such as babe) He still talks to his ex about once a week, although they talk a little less now that we have started dating, and he still calls her bobo.

 

Twice, within the past month or so, he has accidentally called me bobo. (At the time, I didn't know the history behind the nickname) For example, once while we were driving to a movie he put his hand on my leg and smiled at me and said in a cutsey voice 'hey bobo'. I immediately asked him why he called me that and mentioned that he also had once before. He didn't say much, and just told me it was what he called his dog sometimes.

 

Finally, we recently had a talk and he revealed the truth behind the name. He says that it slipped out on accident, because the name sounded similar to boo in his head.

 

What is your opinion? Did he call me bobo because he was reminded of his previous relationship, or perhaps thinking of his ex? Or was it simply a slip of the tongue? I'm worried that perhaps this slip of the tongue has meaning behind it. However, I realize that I may just be acting like a paranoid idiot =). I can certainly understand that he has been using this nickname for 5 years, and for a second his mind may have unconsciously thought "what is the nickname I use with her?" and for a moment he thought it was bobo because he is used to saying it so often. I can also understand that they still talk and sometimes you mix up the names you call your friends, however it's not as if he has ever called any of his male friends bobo.

 

My worry is that the situation of being together and being touchy feely reminded him of his last relationship. I know I have accidentally called someone by the wrong nickname because the situation seemed familiar. For example, I have called my friend 'dad' when I was arguing with them about school. I'm worried this situation is a similar case and for some reason being with me reminded him of a situation with his ex, which makes me upset because their relationship was a friendship for so long that those type of situations shouldn't remind him of her.

 

I'm also worried that he called me bobo because the name is something he uses towards those he feels attached too, or sweet feelings towards. Which doesn't feel appropriate then since he used it towards her as a friend. He tells me that the name lost all meaning and became simply a friendly nickname when he used it towards his ex while they were friends. I guess I'm just super paranoid that he still has feelings towards her, or that he would for some reason rather be with her if he could (because she broke up with him). I admit I'm definitely jealous of their close relationship.

 

Anyway any opinions please? Trust me, I'm sure I may sound crazy. I guess I just need some relief.

 

Thank you!

Posted

Slip of the tongue.

Posted

second that. bobo and boo. very close. meaningless any way. my 2 cents.

Posted

Heck, my own mother sometimes would call my brother by the dogs name and she isn't crazy, stupid and loves my brother very much.

 

 

Slip of tongue, don't worry about it.

Posted
Should I be worried?

 

No...........

Posted

It's just a slip of the tongue. If you go out with someone for a while (e.g. 6 months+) you just get used to saying their name. Even parents sometimes mix up the names of their sons or daughters. Considering that he's probably called you your name hundreds of times, slipping up twice (especially when your nickname sounds v similar) doesn't indicate anything IMO.

Posted

I'm going to join in voting "Oops" and nothing more.

Posted

Slip of the tongue. I've done it myself more than a few times in various relationships. I've also had women call me by the name of their ex. It happens and it doesn't mean anything.

Posted

Definitely a slip!!! No worries :)

Posted

If he is still calling his ex a pet name, that is totally unacceptable imo. Personally I wouldn't want him contacting her at all, much less calling her cutesy names. Chatting to people online occasionally is one thing, but I can't understand why he still feels the need to call her on the phone? I hope he doesn't see her in person...

 

What has probably happened is, he's been talking to her and calling her bobo, so when he talked to you he got mixed up. Imo this all results from him having MUCH TOO CLOSE of a relationship with his ex, and if I were you I'd insist that it has to stop.

 

I'm curious about how you know all this stuff... my bf certainly doesn't know what pet names I called my exes, or how often we had sex, or who I chat to on IM!

Posted

Cut the dude some slack. We all make mistakes. Sounds like it's just a slip, nothing more than that.

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