gark1971 Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Hi all... this is my first post and as you'd expect I'm hoping someone can help with some advice. It's a long and complicated story so please bear with me and I'll try and keep it short. My wife and I (unofficially) separated in March 2008 and she returned to Ireland - it has been sort of "on and off" and in "no mans land" since then until a couple of months ago when she started seeing someone else. 2 of the 3 kids have lived with me for a total of 11 months since then as they currently are (the eldest is my stepdaughter officially). We are due to return next week for a holiday during their summer holidays which will be our first time back since December. In the last couple of days, their mother is insisting that we meet a solicitor while I'm back there to make an "arrangement" regarding the 2 (younger) children currently living with me. It sounds to me like the "arrangement" will involve the kids living with me temporarily, with a view to returning to live with her eventually - and she expects me to sign something to this effect, which I've no intention of doing. She's "decided" that the kids won't be returning with me unless an arrangement is made! What should I do.... as far as I'm concerned this is a holiday for the kids as they're in summer club for the other 3 weeks of their holidays while I work - I don't want to disappoint them, but am worrying about what might happen when we go back - their mother and I have never been able to agree on anything and she can be very manipulative and occasionally violent. Any idea what rights can she have on "home ground"? The children have attended school here since nursery, excluding the 4 month term in Ireland and are getting on really well and seem happy, all-the-while unaware of the developing situation. What rights do I have, as their home is officially over here i.e. they live and go to school here. I know that a permanent ruling needs to be sorted out soon considering recent events, but don't know where to start considering recent developments. Thanks (in anticipation) Gar
tojaz Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Gar, Legal advice depends a lot on where you are, which you failed to mention. Since you refered to the attorney as a solicitor and the children are in ireland, I'm guessing UK, but you should verify that and maybe a UK member will be able to help more. TOJAZ
Lucky_One Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I wouldn't mess around with unprofessional advice on a matter as important as child custody over international lines. I would retain an solicitor as soon as you can.
Author gark1971 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 Many thanks both for your prompt replies and yes, I'm living in the UK as suspected. I appreciate Lucky Ones comment regarding retaining a solicitor ASAP. Despite the fact that I've a reasonably good income, unfortunately I'm not in the best position at the moment financially, after a few turbulent years and a wife that doesn't understand the phrase "living within your means". This is something I'll come to grips with in the near future and appreciate that I'm out on a limb somewhat until that point. I'm wondering would there be any benefit of traveling with proof of their current school arrangements and tax related documents proving their current location based on the last 1 1/2 years... worse possible scenario, will this have any bearing should things get nasty and the police are involved?
CheatedOnHusband Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I would suggest getting a solicitor and also postpone the holiday. Make it clear to your wife that you have retained a solicitor - looks like she isn't coming back anyway.
Author gark1971 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 Thanks for the advice CheatedonHusband... my brother gave me similar advice, suggesting that I make the trip, but not let her know - I couldn't do that to my kids, as they'd obviously be fully aware that something wasn't right. I don't know if it's the right time to start looking after my interests with regards to keeping the children in my care by doing something that drastic. There's no doubt this is quickly becoming a bone for contention now that she's getting back on her feet, so to say. She seems to forget that she asked me to take the boys back in January as she couldn't handle them - distance makes the heart fonder and she now seems to think she can handle what she couldn't not so long ago. From experience, does anyone think their current residence will have any bearing on any immediate decision made by social services, should it come to that? Based on the fact that we're all Irish nationals, could the children be prevented from returning to the UK following the trip, or would they be automatically allowed to return allowing for the commencement of proceedings on my return?
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