Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 i have kept no contact now for a week, its f'ing hard like so hard because i wanna tell her i feel like ****, i know youll say she doesnt care but i think she does, she tells epoples she feels fine which we all know means feels crap, why bother falling in love when it always ends in the worst pain possible. we cared for each other so much , and now no contact is like a knife in my heart stabbing away and twisting. its fine for everyone to say it'll get better but what if it doesnt, ive read enough people on here who feel like this for months, i cant do that s..t its too hard. all i wanna know is how she truely is feeling, and there is no way t ofind out, all these questions buzz around my brain all day, the only thing helping me is diazpam because it puts me out at night. i just wanna know there is a chance for us, and i wont know for at least two months before i see her again, two months of this and hell knows what ill be like. best thing dont fall in love.
NopeNah Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 i just wanna know there is a chance for us. That's your problem(IMO).. You need to accept the FACT that there's a damn good chance that this is over. Not trying to be harsh at all. But, in order for you to get past this you need to accept that it's probaly over for good and begin to heal yourself with time.
asuman Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Deciding while you are right in the middle of pain whether you should fall in love again in the future isn't a good idea. There's just a slight bias that might unduly influence your decision. It's better to get through this period, recover, heal, and only then decide whether the risks of pursuing love are really worth it. I've been through relationships and have had my heart broken before, and I've felt all the pain you're feeling. And I say without a doubt that I'll go for it again. And I'll even say that I'd do everything all over again (except for one particularly crappy relationship). The highs were worth it. The first kisses were worth it. It was fun at the time, and that was worth it. So things didn't work out. Life goes on and life is good.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I say try to resurrect it. Fight over and over again til she threatens to file a restraining order. Then you'll HAVE to let go. I've been broken up with my ex nearly 8 months and it rips me apart every day thinking she could be with someone else, who knows. I am not over the pain, in fact it's only getting worse. Fight for her so at least you can always tell yourself you tried and tried and tried and tried.
kizik Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I say try to resurrect it. Fight over and over again til she threatens to file a restraining order. Then you'll HAVE to let go. Huh? I'm not sure the OP could get advice that's any worse.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 A hint to get past some of those anxious moments when you're trying to sleep and you mind is racing.... take deep breaths through your nose, out your mouth, over and over again, and you will feel your body begin to relax, and you will fall asleep. In a few days, you will feel better and if you can picture a year from now, where you would be if you can't let go vs where you would be if you do let go? Which life do you prefer?
boogieboy Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 i all i wanna know is how she truely is feeling, and there is no way to find out, i just wanna know there is a chance for us, and i wont know for at least two months before i see her again, . Assume you will never see her again. You were too clingy, which is high on the list of reason for your ex to run away from you. Theres two ways she could be feeling: 1.) She is also hurt, but she would have called you by now. You know how you kids do, if your parents dont want you to see each other, you find ways. She isnt doing that. 2.) She was over you months before she broke it off (which usually happens) and she has no desire to see you agin. if its #2, it means there is no chance for the two of you. The sooner you accept that, the faster you will stop feelin like shyt. In fact, write a letter to her venting your feelings, and post it in the forum "post letters to your ex here". Its somewhere in the coping forum I think. So now you know, when you get a new gf, do not be so clingy. Learn your lesson.
NopeNah Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 haha..thought you were talking to me. I still stand by my statment on phsycology. It's impossible to know how every individule will react to certain circumstances. We are all wired as individules..the whole "free will thing". Sure there's some merit to it as with anything..didn't mean to come off as harsh to you either. I just know after my 5 year, living together 2.5 relationship it's taking me 3+months to get over her. I held on to false hopes for a few and she wants back now.. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! I'm done! Acceptance was the key to healing for me. That's what I was telling the OP. You have to accept that it's over to move on.
GirlB4theSunset Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 hi hun I have been around for a while but your post inspired me to register finally! im goin through something very similar... i would also like some advice from anyone here... please stay strong, i will too! I dated my ex 3 years, we split twice, and this time has been nasty and horrible. I don't know what to do, ive cried every day... my little yorkie terrier keeps me company but i swear the poor thing will drown in my tears at this rate.. please keep me updated with your situation as for kizik, ive seen a lot of posts by you in the past month and a half and i think you are frankly a miserable individual. It doesn't shock me why you are alone. Thomas, although I agree your advice was bad lol, you shouldnt let these kids get to you. You have a lot goin for you. My friend last week gave me way worse advice. she told me to show up at my ex's house and egg his house if he wouldnt agree to reconcile :-D
Thomas X Forever Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Thanks sunset girl. I don't really care, kizik is always like this. If you've seen him then you know he is
kizik Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 as for kizik, ive seen a lot of posts by you in the past month and a half and i think you are frankly a miserable individual. It doesn't shock me why you are alone. Thanks! I like the lazy way you type; it's like you don't care what anyone thinks of you. I admire that free-spirit sensibility.
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