wow123 Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Just a thought. I know many people on here check up on their ex's through mutual friends, facebook, myspace etc. If you are looking for a second chance you probably don't want to know what is going on in your ex's life although it may be very hard for you to do. If you found out he/she was sleeping with someone else and then he/she wanted a second chance do you think that it would work out? I know for me I dont want to know anything due to the fact that it will hurt me now and any possibility of reconciliatoin. agree/disagree?
Battlewax Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I don't know about my ex. I'm not paying attention to her. I've had other people walk into my life and they treat me so much better than she did. I did check up on my ex once or twice. At the time she was doing worse than I was. I felt better and wanted to be there for her. After thinking about it, I've come to find out that, I don't really want her around. I still get down, I still get sad and lonely. The thing is, she couldn't give me what I wanted. So be it. I've removed her from all my accounts and let her friends know that I want nothing more to do with her. It's liberating. I finally have the confidence that I lacked for so long.
dxb Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 It depends how much you'd really want them back. Personally I take the oh-I'm-so-mature (ahem!) route of looking at them as a single person who isn't in your life at that stage. Much as it might pain you to think about it, you cannot hold it against your ex if you have split up and they have slept with someone else. That's what being single means. It's not really a question of what they've done when they're single. It's a question of what they're going to do if you did get back together in order to avoid repeating the same mistakes that made the relationship break down in the first place. I'll also say this; dealing with your ex sleeping other people is a lot, lot easier if you go out and do it yourself. I'd actually advocate pointless, meaningless sex with people you don't care about after a relationship because then you can't take the moral high ground. Being the morally 'right' one in a break-up is a lot more painful because you're essentially being punished despite not doing anything wrong. I am meeting with my ex to evaluate the trust issues I have with her, to find out if they're misplaced or not. We've been apart a week or so but I am not going to ask her what she has been doing during that week because what she did with herself stopped being my business when I walked out on her. I am also hoping she does not ask what I've been doing during that week as well because she will not like the answer - but I will at least be honest with her.
Beeotch Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Just a thought. I know many people on here check up on their ex's through mutual friends, facebook, myspace etc. If you are looking for a second chance you probably don't want to know what is going on in your ex's life although it may be very hard for you to do. If you found out he/she was sleeping with someone else and then he/she wanted a second chance do you think that it would work out? I know for me I dont want to know anything due to the fact that it will hurt me now and any possibility of reconciliatoin. agree/disagree? I stay out of my ex's business... He can sleep with whomever he chooses as we aren't together.... But there are 2 particular people, if he sleeps with them, I would not get back together with him.
NopeNah Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 She's free to do as she pleases and so am I. Just like before I even knew she existed on this planet. She was mereley another face in the crowd and she's there again now, a face in the crowd.
HisLove Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 That's what breaking up means - you aren't involved with each other any more. So both are free to pursue whatever and whomever they want. I personally could not have kept track of him and kept my sanity. However, having said that, it could also work in your favour. They've sampled what's out there and may not be so thrilled with it after all. That's what happened with my ex and I. We both had serious other relationships over the years, but now understand we needed to go and do that and go through those things to appreciate each other and find each other again. It seems if there is a deep abiding love there, it will survive through other relationships and life's tribulations.
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