aloneanddepressed Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 My relationship with my boyfriend is over as of now, but recently I was able to find out something that is questionable on my part. My ex has a facebook account, but I do not. Of course, like most people his profile is only viewable to his friends. A friend of mine recently added him, because we both were curious what he had going on, on his page. My friend was able pick up on the fact that he never changed his relationship status from single. He has approximately 400 people on there, although a good mixture of men and women. She also noticed that he had this speed dating application downloaded, and it said something like "he flirted with so in so". Apparently he was advertising himself as single and participating in online dating. According to the date of the activities on his profile, this was while we were still supposedly together. We broke up around the 25th of June, and it said he was on this speed dating device around the 17th? So, anyways, he ignored me after an argument, so this entire time I thought the breakup without a doubt had to do with the argument....but as you see he might have already been fishing around for someone else. There were also other messages from girls, but my friend doesn't know if there was any romantic activity going on or not. Not even sure when he accessed the Speed Dating application. It makes me sick he was acting all happy and like he really loved me and cared, but I think he was keeping his options open by saying he was single, and looking for other girls. I didn't have Facebook, so he knew I wouldn't see this. So, is this considered cheating or what do you think of this?
CarrieT Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I would be more concerned about the fact that the relationship is over but you are stalking and obsessing about him. Why do you care about what transpired in a relationship that is now over -- there are obviously trust issues and that you are mapping out a calendar of when things occurred and going over and over it in our mind is detrimental to your well being. Just move on.
Author aloneanddepressed Posted July 11, 2009 Author Posted July 11, 2009 Well, just the other day I found out we are over, and a few days after this I was informed about his Facebook information. For two weeks, I did not know what happened. Even though the relationship is over, I had been having issues of trusting him a while, so I wanted proof , I guess to make myself feel a bit better that its over. At this point, I still care to know what he was up to, which may explain more for his sudden breakup with me. At the same time, I do feel worse, knowing he was doing this while we were dating. I think I have the right to know. Not sure, why I didn't think about checking his facebook profile out earlier, and I don't consider this stalking. Its not like this happened two months ago or something.
terra Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I wouldn't look to much into it. I accidentally downloaded that application - its easy enough to do I don't think it means anything if so and so gave him a wink or a flirt. Most people don't take that stuff too seriously AND if he was seriously flirty with some girl I doubt he would do it on a public forum like facebook, especially with 400 people watching. It's pretty naive to think that that information wouldn't get to back to you. I would focus on moving on and don't get hung up on this facebook thing.
Author aloneanddepressed Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 well, as far as i know, ever since we went exclusive as far as our relationship, he never changed his facebook status to "in a relationship". i'm almost certain, he has had it set to single for quite some time. i don't belong to facebook so he knows i wouldn't see it. the application thing probably isn't that big of a deal, but i honestly think he is too dumb to realize it post as "recent activity" to the board for everyone to see. i also saw he belonged to this online bar site, and he has like 80 + girls on his list. what a loser, i hate i wasted my time....
Javelin Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 well, as far as i know, ever since we went exclusive as far as our relationship, he never changed his facebook status to "in a relationship". i'm almost certain, he has had it set to single for quite some time. i don't belong to facebook so he knows i wouldn't see it. the application thing probably isn't that big of a deal, but i honestly think he is too dumb to realize it post as "recent activity" to the board for everyone to see. i also saw he belonged to this online bar site, and he has like 80 + girls on his list. what a loser, i hate i wasted my time.... I know it hurts, but you're free from this guy's grasp. Just understand that there are approximately 2.5 billion men on this planet and not all of us are like that. Rebuild your self-esteem and confidence and forget this guy, he isn't worth the effort.
MichelleS1983 Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I would be more concerned about the fact that the relationship is over but you are stalking and obsessing about him. Just move on. Oh for the love of Pete, looking at someone's Facebook profile is HARDLY considered 'stalking.' It's so tiresome seeing this word overused all the time.
utterer of lies Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Oh for the love of Pete, looking at someone's Facebook profile is HARDLY considered 'stalking.' It's so tiresome seeing this word overused all the time. And honestly, is there anyone who never did a little bit of internet stalking of dates or exes? I mean something like facebook or googling the person... if it's not repeated obsessively, it's quite a normal thing to do.
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