Lauriebell82 Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 So I've struggling with developing friendships since I moved back to the city my fiance lives in last year. All my friends from college live in different places, as well as all my high school friends. (the city I live in now is where I went to high school). I feel like I don't have anyone. There was a thread in another section that was based on this kind of topic so I thought I'd start my own. My fiance tries to make an effort to include me, he is always trying to set up things to do. He knows I feel bad. But I can't help feeling like they "aren't my friends." None of my bridesmaids or maid of honor even live here, therefore planning wedding stuff with them in person doesn't happen. My fiance get along great, spending a lot of time together does not really phase us, we actually love it. My fiance has tons of friends who he likes to go out with though and it makes me feel kind of bad. And I know it's very important for him to hang out with his friends. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Star Gazer Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 What are you proactively doing to make new friends?
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 What are you proactively doing to make new friends? Well, there are places where I could meet people, like the gym, but I don't really socialize very much with anyone there. My coworkers are all like 20 years older then me too so it would seem weird to hang out with them outside of work. Other the gym and work I don't really have time to do much else. I'm just not that great at making friends, I'm real shy so it's hard for me to go up to someone and just start talking to them.
Thaddeus Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 How about taking some evening classes? Or perhaps joining a service club? There's probably a Toastmasters club in your area as well. All those are great ways to meet people and make new friends.
Star Gazer Posted July 14, 2009 Posted July 14, 2009 Are HIS friends coupled up? You couple befriend the girls in those relationships. Once you're married, as far as couple-friends go, the division between "his friends" and "your friends" becomes blurred, especially amongst the SO's of his friends.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 14, 2009 Author Posted July 14, 2009 Are HIS friends coupled up? You couple befriend the girls in those relationships. Once you're married, as far as couple-friends go, the division between "his friends" and "your friends" becomes blurred, especially amongst the SO's of his friends. Yeah almost all of his friends either have wives or girlfriends. I think he is trying to make his friends mine as well. (with good intentions) I actually got invited to one of my coworkers birthday parties next weekend and she'll get to meet my fiance for the first time. It will also be an opportunity for him to meet some of my other coworkers as well.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 I was talking to one of my coworkers and I was telling her about this Cabana Bar that is near my parents townhouse. She mentioned that her and her boyfriend were looking for something to do this weekend if she could find a babysitter. So with my heart beating real fast I asked if she wanted to double date and go together. It was nerve racking, I felt so nervous. I don't know why, maybe that she would say no? Or I am just not used to taking the initiative with friends I haven't really hung out with before. Phew!
mark982 Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 now you're getting the ball rolling. get to see you're looking out for yourself,just cause their older don't mean you can't meet some of there friends who might be younger.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 now you're getting the ball rolling. get to see you're looking out for yourself,just cause their older don't mean you can't meet some of there friends who might be younger. Well this girl is around my age, she is 30. So it won't be like we are hanging out with middle aged people or anything. But still, I am not used to hanging out with girls older than me so I'm not sure how I should act!
norajane Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Yeah almost all of his friends either have wives or girlfriends. Why don't you call them up and invite them out for a girls' night out, or invite one or two of them shopping or something?
norajane Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Well this girl is around my age, she is 30. So it won't be like we are hanging out with middle aged people or anything. But still, I am not used to hanging out with girls older than me so I'm not sure how I should act! LB, 30 isn't exactly old. You're what, 25? 26? You're making too much of the age thing. Just be yourself. You don't need to act any differently with anyone because of their age.
Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 LB, 30 isn't exactly old. You're what, 25? 26? You're making too much of the age thing. Just be yourself. You don't need to act any differently with anyone because of their age. Ha! I know! LB, I'm 31, and other than my 3 BFFs (who are my age), I'm learning that some of the best, real, true friends around are women in their mid- to late-30's, and even a couple who have just past 40! Imagine that!!
Author Lauriebell82 Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 LB, 30 isn't exactly old. You're what, 25? 26? You're making too much of the age thing. Just be yourself. You don't need to act any differently with anyone because of their age. I'm 26, and yeah maybe I am making too much out of age. All my friends are exactly my age so I suppose I'm just not used to it. It's funny though because at work I tend to talk to my older coworkers instead of the ones my age. Maybe cause they are more mature? I don't know. They are more interesting and articulate too, not girls who are talking about getting trashed at the bar all the time. I think I'm nervous because I have never hung out with any of my coworkers outside of work in the year I have been there. More pressure I guess?
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