I think my new lover is a liar!!!

[Adunaphel]

Not sure where you're going with this Adu. If you have something to say why not just come out with it? I'd have a hell of a lot more respect for you if you did.

 

Well, I was not actually referring to any one on LS specifically (the only poster who I know for certain used a different identity once to post about an embarassing subject, was the loveliest person one could imagine, and she always phrased posts (to anyone) in a very non-accusing way... so this does not apply to her, either) ... but I've seen this happen on a number of websites. And in real life, as well.

As LS has a lot in common with other relationship sites... I just assumed that it might be no different in this regard, too.

[Island Girl]

Nah. She's not changing for the anything. My whole point is that she wanted a truthful and honest relationship ALL ALONG. She just can't get it so she acted like it didn't exist. Like if it's not something SHE can attain, then it's not in existence and anyone who thinks it IS is being lied to and is naive.

 

Exactly Touche.

 

Well said.

 

I knew this all along. This thread just confirms it. So maybe now she'll finally stop telling people they're fools for believing that they're SO is loyal.

 

I knew this too.

 

You bet this thread confirms it. Simply the title alone speaks volumes!

 

The sad thing I see is that it has come full circle - a self fulfilling prophecy. And now she will be even more convinced that ALL men lie and ALL men cheat.

 

I've said all along "just because you don't have doesn't mean other people don't have it either".

That falls on deaf ears.

 

Now we see that she believes it DOES exist (she thought she herself had attained it - and you can't have something that doesn't exist) but she came up with the short end of the stick...again.

 

Lizzie60 -

 

Perhaps if the truth telling you claim to do got really real and really truthful --- that you DO want a committed relationship with honesty and respect --- then you would be closer to attaining it.

 

Now that you put this out there we all know it is there within you and as much as you want to cover it up - please realize that only hurts you in YOUR life and stops you from getting what you really do want.

[Touche]

Thanks, Island Girl!

 

And great post yourself there. I agree with it all.

[Ruby Slippers]

Nah. She's not changing for the anything. My whole point is that she wanted a truthful and honest relationship ALL ALONG. She just can't get it so she acted like it didn't exist. Like if it's not something SHE can attain, then it's not in existence and anyone who thinks it IS is being lied to and is naive.

I think it's even worse than that. By being an evangelist for cheating and lying, Lizzie promotes and enables the lifestyle. When you believe in and support the good in people, you bring it out. And the opposite is true, too. Cheaters, liars, addicts -- these people need henchmen, enablers, little devils on their shoulders.

 

Every human being bears a degree of personal responsibility for the energy and actions he or she puts out into the world, good or bad. And I believe it always comes back to you tenfold.

[Touche]

I think it's even worse than that. By being an evangelist for cheating and lying, Lizzie promotes and enables the lifestyle. When you believe in and support the good in people, you bring it out. And the opposite is true, too. Cheaters, liars, addicts -- these people need henchmen, enablers, little devils on their shoulders.

 

Every human being bears a degree of personal responsibility for the energy and actions he or she puts out into the world, good or bad. And I believe it always comes back to you tenfold.

 

Yep. I agree. I've always believed that.

 

Oh and watch her never answer the questions about whether she's told this new lover about her little extra-curricular activities. Bet he has NO clue whatsoever.

Yet, she expects honesty or he'll "pay.":rolleyes:

[Island Girl]

Thanks, Island Girl!

 

Just givig credit where credit is due Touche.

 

And great post yourself there. I agree with it all.

 

So let's hope that some of this sinks in -- maybe it will take a little while.

 

Everyone deserves to truly love and be loved in their lifetime.

 

A person who buries their head in the sand so deeply must be absolutely terrified of heartache and heartbreak.

That terror being so real that constant protests are necessary to keep it buried.

 

That makes me really sad for Lizzie60.

Especially since we now know it is what lies beneath.

[Ruby Slippers]

Oh and watch her never answer the questions about whether she's told this new lover about her little extra-curricular activities. Bet he has NO clue whatsoever.

Yet, she expects honesty or he'll "pay.":rolleyes:

Yes, I notice above she says they've never agreed upon exclusivity, using that as her own excuse for lying by omission. Doesn't seem to get him off the hook, though, does it?

 

I find the ability to rationalize and condemn based on these arbitrary criteria, the pervasive lack of empathy for others, and failure to accept responsibility for actions absolutely chilling.

[Island Girl]

I find the ability to rationalize and condemn based on these arbitrary criteria, the pervasive lack of empathy for others, and failure to accept responsibility for actions absolutely chilling.

 

Thinking about that side of the coin IS very disturbing.

[Touche]

Yes, I notice above she says they've never agreed upon exclusivity, using that as her own excuse for lying by omission. Doesn't seem to get him off the hook, though, does it?

I find the ability to rationalize and condemn based on these arbitrary criteria, the pervasive lack of empathy for others, and failure to accept responsibility for actions absolutely chilling.

 

That's just what I was thinking! How come it's ok for HER to lie...whether by omission or otherwise, but not for him? If they're not exclusive yet, then why can't he see other people without divulging that fact? I don't get it.

 

And I wonder what she meant by he'll "pay." Don't they ALL pay in the end?

[Lizzie60]

That's just what I was thinking! How come it's ok for HER to lie...whether by omission or otherwise, but not for him? If they're not exclusive yet, then why can't he see other people without divulging that fact? I don't get it.

 

And I wonder what she meant by he'll "pay." Don't they ALL pay in the end?

 

 

I just can't think of one reason for you to post on my threads.. other than being biotchy... don't you have anything more constructive to post on other threads...

[carhill]

Maybe it's time to pay him a visit at his home. After all, if he can stick his penis in you, he can share his taste in furniture and china, right?

 

I think he really needs to plan a nice home-cooked dinner for you. That sounds wonderful. Set that up and let us know how it goes.

 

I'm serious here. Not being biotchy at all. That's what a gentleman does.

[Lizzie60]

Maybe it's time to pay him a visit at his home. After all, if he can stick his penis in you, he can share his taste in furniture and china, right?

 

I think he really needs to plan a nice home-cooked dinner for you. That sounds wonderful. Set that up and let us know how it goes.

 

I'm serious here. Not being biotchy at all. That's what a gentleman does.

 

I almost spit my tea in my screen..

 

If only I knew his real address.. he gave me a wrong number, unless I heard wrong..

[Touche]

I just can't think of one reason for you to post on my threads.. other than being biotchy... don't you have anything more constructive to post on other threads...

 

How am I being bitchy? I'm being no bitchier than you've been with me in the past with all your subtle (not so subtle really) digs at me.

 

I'll post where I want, thank you very much.

 

But seriously, what have I said that wasn't true or was inaccurate in some way? Please do set me straight if I'm off base.

[Citizen Erased]

As fun as this is for some people to see a little Karma kick in, I can't wait to see what Lizzie has in store for this guy.

 

It's pretty funny, he feels the need to lie to the one person in his life that it wouldn't matter if he's married or not.

[Touche]

That's just what I was thinking! How come it's ok for HER to lie...whether by omission or otherwise, but not for him? If they're not exclusive yet, then why can't he see other people without divulging that fact? I don't get it.

 

And I wonder what she meant by he'll "pay." Don't they ALL pay in the end?

 

I'm quoting myself here to point out to you that this was ON-TOPIC, not bitchy and relevant to the thread. Yet, instead of answering the question, you tell me to post elsewhere. Hmmmm...methinks I know the answer anyway.

[Jilly Bean]

Lizzie - does he know you're interested in having a relationship?

 

Have the two of you ever actually dated? Or, is it just confined to him swinging by for sex?

 

Because, if the answer is no on all accounts, then he could be thinking that you were totally fine with the arrangement as it stands, meaning, just having sex, and not having expectations beyond that.

[You'reasian]

I like the home-cooked dinner idea that Carhill mentioned. On top of that, I think its best if the two of you cook together (although it might take longer for the food to be ready LOL )

 

Best of luck finding out, Lizzie.

 

And Bold Jack is right, you can't expect to get a straight story from someone if you aren't giving them out - but I know you ladies like to have your caked and eat it too...

[Lizzie60]

As fun as this is for some people to see a little Karma kick in, I can't wait to see what Lizzie has in store for this guy.

 

It's pretty funny, he feels the need to lie to the one person in his life that it wouldn't matter if he's married or not.

 

Yes but he doesn't know that.. I never told him (he never asked any questions).. he probably thinks that if he tells me he has someone.. it will be over.. but now it will be..

[butcher's hook]

I hope his son has many heads because I can sense they are blowing off with each lie that he tells! He is definitely hiding something, is it a wife, a girlfriend or a the fact that he lives with his parents? Who knows.

 

If you want to know if he is taken, the next time you have sex with him as part of the sexy foreplay ritual shave his testicles (if they have hair), or give him a hickey somewhere close to his privates, chest or backside. If he's with someone he will have NO part of that. Any alteration to his intimate parts is a red flag if you are in a relationship.

[Lizzie60]

Lizzie - does he know you're interested in having a relationship?

 

Have the two of you ever actually dated? Or, is it just confined to him swinging by for sex?

 

Because, if the answer is no on all accounts, then he could be thinking that you were totally fine with the arrangement as it stands, meaning, just having sex, and not having expectations beyond that.

 

Yes he knows I was interested in a relationship.. for the very first time since my last relationship (almost 7 years ago)...

 

So far, it's mainly been sex at my place.. for hours.. but he always refused to stay overnight.. although he said yes the first time.. then when he came over.. he said it was over.. he had no time for me.. since he's working ALL the time.. (yeah right )..

 

He has a freaken answer to everything..

[Lizzie60]

I like the home-cooked dinner idea that Carhill mentioned. On top of that, I think its best if the two of you cook together (although it might take longer for the food to be ready LOL )

 

Best of luck finding out, Lizzie.

 

And Bold Jack is right, you can't expect to get a straight story from someone if you aren't giving them out - but I know you ladies like to have your caked and eat it too...

 

Yabut.. I repeat.. I'm single.. I don't have anything to tell him.. we have never discussed exclusivity.. he only told me he had no other women in his life except me.. I just don't believe him..

[Jilly Bean]

Yes he knows I was interested in a relationship.. for the very first time since my last relationship (almost 7 years ago)...

 

So far, it's mainly been sex at my place.. for hours.. but he always refused to stay overnight.. although he said yes the first time.. then when he came over.. he said it was over.. he had no time for me.. since he's working ALL the time.. (yeah right )..

 

He has a freaken answer to everything..

 

Eh. Pesky boys!

 

I think your spidey senses are probably accurate. I mean, a woman knows when a man is bad, right?

 

But, before you exact your revenge plan, which frightens me for him - lol, I suggest you ask him if he would like to go out to dinner, or on a proper date, because you'd like to take this to another level.

 

See how he responds to that. If he has 12 excuses, then I think you have a final word on his availability.

 

And, FWIW, I do think that just because you've had a past that involves a lot of affairs with MM, doesn't mean you're not entitled, nor allowed, to want or have a legitimate relationship in your future.

[Lucky_One]

Yabut.. I repeat.. I'm single.. I don't have anything to tell him.. we have never discussed exclusivity.. he only told me he had no other women in his life except me.. I just don't believe him..

 

But you have multiple other men in your life, and I am not including the ones who pay you on a client basis.

 

So why is this bad for him, but ok for you?

[gopher]

Yes he knows I was interested in a relationship.. for the very first time since my last relationship (almost 7 years ago)...

 

So far, it's mainly been sex at my place.. for hours.. but he always refused to stay overnight.. although he said yes the first time.. then when he came over.. he said it was over.. he had no time for me.. since he's working ALL the time.. (yeah right )..

 

He has a freaken answer to everything..

 

Lizzie, Have you read "He's just not that into you"?

[2sunny]

my gut says he has a wife or live in girlfriend. i'm sure he tells her that he's working when he comes to see you. especially since his phone is always off. he's obligated to head home at the end of your gathering, that's why he can't stay. also the address - he didn't want you to know because she's there. you could pay a few bucks to do a background check on him - for about 50.00 you can find out everything you've been wondering about - including if he's married and/or has a criminal record, has kids etc.

 

maybe you should suggest going out in public often. if he's reluctant to meet you out and about - he probably doesn't want to get caught.

 

the info you find may not even be accurate if he's lied about numerous things. who knows in cases like these... he may have given you a fake name as well. it would be worth it just to see if he's told you truthful things about himself in general. if he's lied - then there would be no reason at all to even speak to him any longer.