skjd1220 Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I have a question about a recent situation I ran into. In my dating, I'm trying to do less chasing and let the men pursue me if they are interested. I recently met a guy. We met up for dinner and it went well. At the end of the night, he said he had fun and wanted to do it again. He texted the next day and said he had a nice time and wanted to see me again. I responded saying I agreed and was looking forward to that and told him to call me to set something up. The next evening, I saw him online and we chatted for a bit and he told he me was heading out of town for an emergency situation. He emailed me while he was gone to say hello so I thought that was a good sign. We exchanged a few emails and he asked what I had up for the weekend because he was hoping we could get together again...but if I was busy, we could try for next week. I responded saying I was pretty busy and explained what I was doing but listed a few alternate times I could met, so it didn't seem like I was blowing him off. That was Wed and I never heard back from him. I texted him today just saying I was trying to make weekend plans and did a time this weekend work for him or was next better. He responded and said 'Next weekend is better for me- and it seems like you're really busy anyhow.' I responded saying next Fri was good for me and asked if it was good for him. No response. I'm trying to figure out if I pissed him off since I was busy most of this weekend or if he is just a bad planner and will contact me closer to the end of the week. I tend to overanalyze so I don't know if his lack of response is rude or normal based on how guys operate. Thoughts?
dreamergrl Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 It was just tonight. He is away with an emergency. He seems like he's trying to see you again. I wouldn't worry about it yet.
boogieboy Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 When the queen of over-analyzing says not to over think this, listen to her. I agree with her, give him a couple days. And just give dates that youre available next time. No need to explain how busy you are, it comes off as "im too busy to be with you". If you keep saying "im really busy" it sounds like a blowoff.
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I wouldn't call having his sched messed up by having to go out of town, bad planning. If you want him to do the planning, you have to let him. The balls now in his court so back off completely. If he calls, he does. If he doesn't define a set date, move on. If he doesn't call, move on. Pressing him for a date by following up too much, will just turn someone off.
analyzetheworld Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I would agree, and say that he probably just is kind of busy right now. The most important advice I could give you (from a man's POV) is to not be clingy. Go out and keep living your life; don't put things on hold, hoping it works out with just this one guy. It's really attractive to men (and women too) to see someone living their life and doing what makes them happy and fulfilled. When you are happy and fulfilled, you are not overly clingy or too into someone, and that makes them more laid back and casual with you in return. I've learned from my past relationships that I wished I had taken them slower, because in reality, you have all the time in the world - so don't rush things. Just let them progress in their own time. If he doesn't work out, don't get all discouraged or anything, and don't take it personal. Just go and live your life and focus on you, and in the process you'll meet someone, or he'll come around - whichever comes first. Good luck.
Author skjd1220 Posted July 11, 2009 Author Posted July 11, 2009 Thanks for the advice everyone. What you are all saying makes sense. He was actually back in town yesterday so I still find it a bit odd that he replied to my first text and not my second but I'll stop thinking about it I've been know to blow a good thing by freaking out. At this point, I'll do nothing else about contacting him and just see if he contacts me to set something up. I figure if he truly wants to get together again, he'll make the effort to set it setup.
dreamergrl Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 When the queen of over-analyzing says not to over think this, listen to her. I agree with her, give him a couple days. And just give dates that youre available next time. No need to explain how busy you are, it comes off as "im too busy to be with you". If you keep saying "im really busy" it sounds like a blowoff. :lmao::lmao: Who ever could the queen be?
EYECANDY000 Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 It does seem like you are over analyzing.. he already said Friday was good for him, and said is it good for you. And then you responded with 'yes, its good for me, is it good for you? That's just like you saying 'hi how are you And I reply 'im good and you? And you reply , I'm good, how are you ?
society Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 It has nothing to do with men, some humans are just bad planners. Chill out and see what happens next time.
redant Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Men are not scarce. You wanting definite answers might make him feel you are focusing too much on him.
Recommended Posts