Ilovehim Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Hi, This might sound a bit weird but yeah I'm actually having "trouble" with kissing...the last guy I kissed..well we didn't connect AT ALL and tried again and still didn't...Now I feel like I have forgotten how to kiss or i don't know but whatever it is, it has made me "concious" about kissing..I've never had this problem before and LOVE to kiss but uhh... Now there is someone I like and we haven't kissed yet...for some reason i cant believe im actually saying this, but i have become soo weird about kissing lately...like i get so nervous that we might not click or whatever...besides the last person i kissed i hadn't kissed anyone in a year...im not sure if its me who has become a bad kisser or if the last guy i kissed was bad but either way...how do i stop being awkward about kissing?? P.S: The last guy I kissed him more then once but we just didnt click at all...i know..weird...i used to think kissing just flowed and never had trouble with it but apparently now i do.....
dreamergrl Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 If you kiss someone and it just doesn't work, or no sparks are made.. then no big deal. It's not you, it just wans't meant to be. A kiss isn't good unless both parties are into it.
boogieboy Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I hear from women how alot of guys are just bad kissers, maybe you hit the lottery of mouth mopes.
analyzetheworld Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Ilovehim, I'm going to take a bit of a weird turn here and discuss some psychology for a minute, but I promise it will help your problem, so bear with me. When you're too careful to do ANYTHING, it will cause you to second-guess yourself every single time. Right now, you are stuck in a situation where you are conditioned to respond with anxiety whenever the idea of kissing comes up. There is only one way I know of to fix this; it is through practice in your imagination. Your mind cannot tell the difference between a vividly imagined experience and an actual physical experience (I won't go into the details of all this here). So, you can create a new conditioned response, by visualizing yourself kissing the man you'd like to kiss, and being your own director and actor in the "movie" in your own mind. See yourself kissing him the way you want to, and see him responding the way you want him to respond. In this way, after you do this for about, say 2 weeks, maybe 10 min a day, don't consciously try to kiss him, just forget about kissing him. When the situation next comes up then, your UNCONSCIOUS will have a sort of "deja-vu" about the whole thing, and you will behave in the exact way you have visualized yourself behaving. This is the best advice I can give to you. It's not that you're not a good kisser anymore, it's that you're trying to be too careful, and that is why you can't just relax and let it happen. Try this method out and see for yourself. Good luck
prettybaby Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 It's funny, because your post is something I could have written myself a year ago. My ex and I both sucked at kissing each other. Like, there were no sparks, it didn't feel good, and borderline gross. I hadn't kissed anyone else in years and started wondering if maybe it would never happen again. Maybe I got bad at it, and maybe it will suck forever ... Well, that turned out to be false lol The guy I'm with now ... oh boy. The kissing is FABULOUS. The chemistry was awesome from day one, and I felt very much attracted to him. So when we finally kissed, I wasn't disappointed at all!! I'm not sure if this is correct, but I'm thinking that the physical attraction and chemistry you feel with someone correlates with the quality of the kiss. Whatever the case, stop worrying about it! There's no such thing as forgetting how to kiss. You either click or you don't, so it's all a matter of kissing the right person and then things just flow beautifully.
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