jqb05443 Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Was with my bf for 3.5 years. It will be 3 months that we have been broken up next week. We haven't seen eachother in over a month and had only 2 forms of communication in over a month. We are actually hanging out next Saturday and as I have wanted to reconcile since day 1 I can't wait to see him. I feel like next Saturday, depending on how it goes can either be the last time I ever see him again or the start of us talking again. So for the past 3 months I have had a really hard time coping. Crying everyday, having anxiety, thinking of him every minute, remembering only the good times, not wanting to go out. Not finding anyone else attractive, basically everyone here knows..just not being able to move on. Well today for the first time in 3 months I actually woke up feeling really good. Sang in my car the whole way to work (instead of crying). I felt like my old self again at work today. Making jokes, went out to lunch with my coworkers, actually being productive at work (instead of going into the bathroom and crying or just staring out the window and crying). One of my coworkers actually made a comment to me that I seemed like my old self. I couldn't even believe she noticed. My boss saw me and said I looked really good today and well rested. I don't know if its because I know I am going to see him next week and the day is getting closer and I am getting exciting to see him or was I actually finally starting to except it. Then as I left work it hit me and I cried on my drive home and when I got home. Just when I thought I was making a little progress. I had an option of two things to do tonight and I turned both down. I just didn't want to get out of bed. What a difference from this morning. I was just so use to feeling down 24/7 and I actually felt like my old self again this morning. Since we broke up, like I had said I only remembered the good times, its like my brain blocked out all the bad. Then today for the first time I started remembering the bad and I started to get angry, I mean really angry for the first time since the break up. To the point where I wanted to text my ex and tell him forget about dinner and the show next weekend. And now I am back to just being sad again. What a day full of emotions.......
Recommended Posts