littlewhiterose Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 On more than one occasion I've heard the idea tossed around that guys can actually be afraid of a really attractive woman. Like approaching her, being around her etc. Is this true? What is there to be afraid of?
kizik Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I don't get that at all. I think it's an excuse hot chicks make up for themselves as to why they're not getting quality guys. A beautiful woman, as someone on this site once said (carhill?), still sits on the toilet the same as everyone else. I don't get intimidated by hot chicks anymore; mostly just annoyed. They often talk and act like babies.
Ronni_W Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 that guys can actually be afraid of a really attractive woman. Like approaching her, being around her etc. Is this true? Yep. I've recently heard an interesting theory (that real-life men are agreeing with), that men's fears are generally, typically, on average, around ultimately feeling inadequate, like a failure, or losing status. I guess an attractive woman has the potential for them to realize all three. (While an unattractive woman "only" has the "power" to make them feel like a failure and inadequate. I guess.) The same book suggests that for women, fears are generally, typically, on average, around fear of harm, isolation and deprivation. It makes clear that these are ONLY averages, and thus any individual will not necessarily conform. Like I said, the (few) men whom I've approached about this, are in agreement. I've been trying to only get input from sane, rational, NOT bitter men, though...and those aren't that easy to locate
kizik Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 @Ronni: So if a guy isn't intimidated by a beautiful woman, he's automatically bitter? Where is the logic in that? I would posit that he's secure and decidedly not bitter.
Bayern Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Hot women I'm a little more anxious sure, but the ones I really like I'm petrified.
kizik Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 the ones I really like I'm petrified. This I can get on board with. A girl I like, a lot, whom I've talked to a few times gets me feeling like oh sh*t, better not blow it. But it has nothing to do with her supposed "hotness" - more to do with her personality and not wanting to look stupid in her eyes.
Thaddeus Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Sure, guys get nervous. Who likes to be rejected? And, in general, the hotter the woman, the more likely the guy is going to be rejected. So hotness and fear tend to go hand-in-hand. The confident man will still feel the fear but make the approach anyway. A rejection - which is more likely than not - won't affect him as a man, it's just a result of circumstances. So the confident man learns not to take it personally.
dreamergrl Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I'm not a guy... but as a female I get very intimidated by extremely attractive guys. I get tongue tied. Very shy. I fumble for words.
redant Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I do feel intimidated by hot guys model types the ones I think are hot. I think guys get really excited around an extremely hot/pretty girl. It's hard to get past their "hotness" or great looks and just get to know them. I know because I'm extremely hot and I see how people act around me. I kid.
bodie124 Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 A guy isn't necessarily scared about the act of approaching or being around a new girl that he finds attractive. He's scared of the potentially negative reaction from the girl. He's scared that he's going to come across the wrong way or say something stupid and embarrass himself. Also, depending on the situation, a girl can have differing levels of accessibility. For example, a hot girl surrounded by all of her girlfriends or with a bunch of dudes at her side doesn't appear to be the most receptive to a rando walking up and talking to her. Take that same girl, plop her by herself in an afternoon art class next to a guy that might not be the most forward type, a conversation can easily spark, and the story goes on from there. Depending on the girl's personality, he might also concerned that she has extremely high (maybe even unrealistic) standards and unless he's on his best possible game he probably doesn't stand a chance. It's a defense mechanism. If the girl is less attractive to him, this isn't really as much of a concern because it's of no real loss or gain to him if she isn't receptive. It might be just as much an attractive person's job to convince a potential date that they are genuine and not full of it as it is the job of the average joe schmo to seek out such an individual. They shouldn't expect special treatment just because they are attractive.
D-Lish Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I don't think men are necessarily scared. I think the smart ones play the odds. If you hit on the 7's instead of the 10's... your odds are better. You may enjoy banging the 10 a whole lot- but after 7 rye and coke's- the 7 becomes a 10. After 12 R&C's- a 5 can be a 10. I know I make out with only 10's when I am drinking. Don't ask me about the next day.
Eclypse Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I think all men get a little intimidated around hot women, especially the ones they like. I've learned the trick is to always be confident around them, and even if you're not you have to look like you are. Sometimes I look upon Hornblower as an inspiration. In his mind he thought he was completely inadequate. Almost all of his thoughts seem to be that he was hoping his men hadn't seen his latest mistakes, or noticed that he wasn't as physically strong as them. Yet despite his own negative thoughts, he was loved by his crews for making strong, correct decisions and being a supportive Captain. Unfortunatly, he never picked up on the love they had for him, and still continued to beat himself up over things he thought were wrong with him, but actually weren't.
dressing up Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I don't think so when they meet a girl they really want to know. There was this guy I thought looked shy and the kind who wouldn't have the guts to talk to girls. Later I found out that he's seeing some really beautiful girl. It was after a long time that he had been single.
MN randomguy Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 heck yeah, ever taken the ACTs or SAT? It pretty much feels like that with instant feedback. Maybe its more like going off of a big jump on skis. If you can land it its the biggest rush. If you don't it just hurts a lot and you look stupid. So, if you've crashed several times it gets hard to get worked up to try again.
GoodOnPaper Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I wouldn't use the word afraid, but if I think a woman is really that attractive, so will lots of other guys. Why put myself out there when there is so little chance of the interest being reciprocated?
westernxer Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I don't talk to them because I'm afraid they may actually be bright. LOL
tkgirl Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I'm not a guy... but as a female I get very intimidated by extremely attractive guys. I get tongue tied. Very shy. I fumble for words. ditto that for me too! hey DG!
dreamergrl Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 ditto that for me too! hey DG! (((TG))) Freaking guys spinning our heads huh? :bunny:
Land Shark Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I don't get that at all. I think it's an excuse hot chicks make up for themselves as to why they're not getting quality guys. A beautiful woman, as someone on this site once said (carhill?), still sits on the toilet the same as everyone else. I don't get intimidated by hot chicks anymore; mostly just annoyed. They often talk and act like babies. It's great to finally have it all figured out isn't it.
D-Lish Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 It's great to finally have it all figured out isn't it. Well, if you have it all figured out- please help the rest of us. I for one, am not doing so well.
Land Shark Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Well, if you have it all figured out- please help the rest of us. I for one, am not doing so well. Are you afraid of hot chicks? Just remember: they use the toilet, and they are stupid. How can that be scary?
dreamergrl Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Are you afraid of hot chicks? Just remember: they use the toilet, and they are stupid. How can that be scary? :lmao::lmao: Do they wipe too?
Land Shark Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 :lmao::lmao: Do they wipe too? They might. I get too nervous when I'm around them to ask. Even the stupid ones freak me out.
Citizen Erased Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 They might. I get too nervous when I'm around them to ask. Even the stupid ones freak me out. Yeah, you really need to work on that shyness problem. It's really holding you back sweetheart.
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