Half wants marriage, other half wants to be single, WTF?

[lovesanal]

Have been dating this girl since January and love her to death...race, color, age (sounds shallow) all perfect...she is a little sweetheart and very stubborn. there is a bit of language barrier as I am English speaking and she speaks Tagalog, but I truly adore her. I look for more than looks and all that, but that is important to me as well. Looks to me are very important as I neeeed to be physically attracted to a woman before I can entertain anything else. Anywho...I can't bare the thought of being without her and her sex is great too...not perfect but I love being with her. Why do I want to cheat on her? I haven't had sex with her without a condom yet and look forward to that and I love to be with her all the time, except lately as she has been a real b*Tch. I fear that I will never get married, although I have been once and got married for the wrong reason. Other times I found the right girl but circumstance prevented permanent bonding. I would like to marry this girl and wish I didn't want to cheat on her, do people that stay married actually suffer in silence? Is it possible to work new avenues in a relationship to keep it going? I consider myself a realist and feel that it has only been 6 months and if I am feeling this way now, there is no hope... Thoughts?

[Bejita463]

Have been dating this girl since January and love her to death...race, color, age (sounds shallow) all perfect...she is a little sweetheart and very stubborn. there is a bit of language barrier as I am English speaking and she speaks Tagalog, but I truly adore her. I look for more than looks and all that, but that is important to me as well. Looks to me are very important as I neeeed to be physically attracted to a woman before I can entertain anything else. Anywho...I can't bare the thought of being without her and her sex is great too...not perfect but I love being with her. Why do I want to cheat on her? I haven't had sex with her without a condom yet and look forward to that and I love to be with her all the time, except lately as she has been a real b*Tch. I fear that I will never get married, although I have been once and got married for the wrong reason. Other times I found the right girl but circumstance prevented permanent bonding. I would like to marry this girl and wish I didn't want to cheat on her, do people that stay married actually suffer in silence? Is it possible to work new avenues in a relationship to keep it going? I consider myself a realist and feel that it has only been 6 months and if I am feeling this way now, there is no hope... Thoughts?

 

I'd be willing to be the bolded parts have no small relevance to one another. At any rate, it is not what you think about that matters here as much as what you do about it. Considering cheating, then discarding the notion and attempting to address the shortcomings in your current relationship is commendable.

 

Would it be better if the consideration towards cheating never occurred? That is debatable, really. It is what made you realize that there is a problem, if not necessarily what the problem is. Thinking about a thing and acting on it are not the same. There is a reason many people believe actions speak for themselves.

[Thornton]

Have been dating this girl since January and love her to death...race, color, age (sounds shallow) all perfect...she is a little sweetheart and very stubborn. there is a bit of language barrier as I am English speaking and she speaks Tagalog, but I truly adore her. I look for more than looks and all that, but that is important to me as well. Looks to me are very important as I neeeed to be physically attracted to a woman before I can entertain anything else. Anywho...I can't bare the thought of being without her and her sex is great too...not perfect but I love being with her. Why do I want to cheat on her? I haven't had sex with her without a condom yet and look forward to that and I love to be with her all the time, except lately as she has been a real b*Tch. I fear that I will never get married, although I have been once and got married for the wrong reason. Other times I found the right girl but circumstance prevented permanent bonding. I would like to marry this girl and wish I didn't want to cheat on her, do people that stay married actually suffer in silence? Is it possible to work new avenues in a relationship to keep it going? I consider myself a realist and feel that it has only been 6 months and if I am feeling this way now, there is no hope... Thoughts?

 

That is extremely worrying. I have been in 3-4 year relationships where we've used condoms all the time, and even if I got married I'd still expect to use them to avoid pregnancy. What difference does it make if you use a condom or not? Also, in today's world do you really expect a woman to whom you're not married to have sex with you without a condom? I assure you, even if you do cheat, the girl you cheat with will require you to use a condom too! If you were my bf, I'd worry about what diseases you might have, since you obviously make a habit of wanting unprotected sex.

 

Do the poor girl a favour: dump her and let her find someone else who doesn't want to cheat on her and who is happy to use sensible contraceptive precautions.

[lovesanal]

What difference does it make if you use a condom or not? Also, in today's world do you really expect a woman to whom you're not married to have sex with you without a condom?

 

Do the poor girl a favour: dump her and let her find someone else who doesn't want to cheat on her and who is happy to use sensible contraceptive precautions.

 

That is funny and so untrue, I don't know why I put the condom thing in there, but now its on the table and I will have to tell you that you are wrong.

 

Through my life, I have always been insistent on using condoms and most of the time it is the girl I am with that would rather me not use one.

 

Your advice on dumping the girl because she wants me to use condoms is really poor. I would never force the girl to have sex with me without a condom. I am not robot, I can't just dump her and pretend I do not have feelings for her.

[Javelin]

That is funny and so untrue, I don't know why I put the condom thing in there, but now its on the table and I will have to tell you that you are wrong.

 

How is Thornton wrong?

 

You've clearly stated:

 

Why do I want to cheat on her? I haven't had sex with her without a condom.

 

If that's not the case, as you claim; then what exactly is your issue with a girl that you supposedly, 'love to death?'

 

Honestly, if you're that, 'head over heels' for someone; then I would hope that cheating, would be the last thought on your mind.

[MichelleS1983]

What is UP with your disgusting screen name? How about showing a little respect to the other members of this community? Do you think you're on Adult Friend Finder or something? How lame and tacky.

 

So what's the matter, Mr. Anal? Already got an itch at the 6 month mark? Maybe it's because you have the emotional maturity of a 17 year old, pimple-faced, hormonal teenage boy.

 

Your screen name says it all.

[Touche]

You're not only not ready for marriage (far from it) you're not even ready for a serious committed relationship. Move on.

 

And no. You don't suffer in silence, as you say when you're married. If you do, then you're either married to the wrong person or there's something wrong with you and you're not capable of being happy with one person.