wutdoidonow Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I have been with my husband for 11 years and want to seperate but my husband doesn't want to. I have given in to him for so many years and been unhappy for most of those years. I have finally made a decision to try and make myself happy! The only problem is we both each have a child from aprevious relationship but both children live with us. How do I break the children up? They are very close. His daughter and my son have been in each of our lives since they were babies! I know that this seperation news is breaking my husbands heart and it will altimately cause pain and confrusion for the children also. But I can't stay anymore with a man that I am not in love with and that I have no physical attraction too. I have given him everything a wife and friend can possibly give and I did not ever receive the same in return. Let me rewind and tell you that I have never been physically attracted to my husband but in the beginning he made up for that with his kindness and loving ways. Well that changed after about a year into our relationship. He started showing his true colors and that changed the way I felt about him. All we ever do is argue and cuss at each other. We have always had great sex but I have to close my eyes and imagine he is someone else. I feel horrible for that but I have tried to change that and I can't. Well needless to say I stuck it out because I thought that things would get better but I soon found myself doing all of the work in the relationship. I keep myself looking great and in great shape. I do whatever he wants sexually and then some. I cook, I clean adn still work and pay bills. I have been there for him whenever he needed me no matter what! I try to make him proud to call me his wife but for some reason he thought that once he had me he had no more reason to listen to me and understand how I felt about anything. He also never even cared what he looked like or how he smelled or anything. I am sorry if I'm being to general with my issues but I am very worried that he will see this and know it is me because he has seen me on this website before. But anyway, I don't know what to do. We have talked and talked until I am blue in the face. We have not argued about this but we talk about it everyday and one day he'll say he understands how much i'm hurting and that he'll let me go because he loves me. But then the next day he says he won't let me go and begs me to give him another chance!! As if this is the first time I've ever expressed my unhappiness (i've been telling him these things for years). Well he has had 1000 chances to change in the past 10 years!! I love him because we are friends but I don't want to be trapped like this anymore. I want to find out if I can make myself happy as opposed to waiting for him to do things to make me happy. If I stay it is only because I don't know what to do with the children they are both 11 years old. How do you break a childs heart and live with yourself afterward. If it was me alone i could leave at a moments notice. So what can I do. Please do not try and advise me to stay with my husband that part I have my mind made up on, I just need some help dealing with how to transition the children without them hating us.
Thornton Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Didn't I just reply to this exact same post in another thread? And suggest breaking up the text into readable paragraphs?
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I read it hunny, but you clearly state that you do not want advice re staying with your husband. See, that would be my advice, go MC. I think OWLs advice on your other thread is probably the best if you really are not willing to try and repair your marriage.
Author wutdoidonow Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 thank you guys for your input. I keep your advise in mind
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