Thaddius Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Recently my girlfriend has said things to me such as "we shouldn't hang out as much so we dont get tired of each other" and "If my friends cant hang out with me i always have you, and if u cant than i have my book" does this statement put her friends above our relationship or... However when we are together she is more physical in holding my hand, trying to give me hugs more, and touching me more than when we first started dating
Peanut9330 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Well maybe she's a little afraid of taking your relationship to the next level, she might be trying to feel you out and see if she really wants to be with you or she's a very social person and in order to by happy she needs to divide her time between her friends and loved ones equally, but the statment we should hang out less so we dont get sick of each other just sounds wrong. I know if I care about a person and I enjoy their company I love to spend time with them and I could never get sick of it I mean does the same rule apply to her friends? does she limit thier time so she dosent get sick of them? You should probably talk to her about and see if there is something else behind that comment cuz its hard for me to say what she's thinking. I love to spend time with my BF and no matter how much time we spend toghther I dont get sick of him. So i'm a little baffeld by that comment as well.... just talk to her see what's going on.
Thaddeus Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Just for clarification, it seems that there are two very similar names now on the board. I'm Thaddeus. The OP is Thaddius, spelled a little differently. Different issues, different experiences, clearly different ages. Welcome to the boards, Thaddius.
northstar1 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Just for clarification, it seems that there are two very similar names now on the board. I'm Thaddeus. The OP is Thaddius, spelled a little differently. Different issues, different experiences, clearly different ages. Welcome to the boards, Thaddius. This could get confusing. Like having Samspade and Sam Spade.
Thaddeus Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 This could get confusing. Like having Samspade and Sam Spade. Yea, I know. I'll admit I was a little irritated when I saw the OP's handle, but hey, live and let live, he can do as he wishes as long as he's not intentionally meaning to confuse people.
dreamergrl Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I think it depends on how much time you were spending together.
rod_in_gtown Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I've had female friends say this to their SO in hopes of seeing what their attachment level is without trying to sound too clingy/needy. I disagree with this approach but I listen anyway. I say be honest with how you feel towards her. Agreeing just because it's what she says she wants is always the wrong way to go. In my experience women tend to mean the opposite of what they say when it comes to these specific subjects, and you're better served saying what's the truth in your own mind.
burningashes Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 I've said this to my boyfriend a couple of times. Not to see the level of his attachment to me, but because I was afraid of him actually getting sick of me! So I'd say that, and say that he doesn't have to spend all of his time with me and that I wanted him to know it was okay to spend some time with his friends, vice versa. I was afraid that he would get sick of me and break up with me, despite the fact he was the one who asked me to hang out with him all the time. Sort of a self-defense thing, I guess! Sometimes you have to take things at face value.
Phateless Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Recently my girlfriend has said things to me such as "we shouldn't hang out as much so we dont get tired of each other" and "If my friends cant hang out with me i always have you, and if u cant than i have my book" does this statement put her friends above our relationship or... However when we are together she is more physical in holding my hand, trying to give me hugs more, and touching me more than when we first started dating Sounds to me like she's afraid you'll get sick of her and she's trying to stay busy so you won't. I don't think it's possible to interpret this because it could go so many different directions. Quit over analyzing and enjoy your relationship.
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