Kamille Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 He did say he likes me alot (UH) and that he has been burned in the past loving someone before he "really" knew her. He has also been sweeter than ever since that night. I, on the other hand, have been sick about it. I feel like my heart is exposed. I'm also a little upset with him (he doesn't know that). Smart man. I would suggest you calm down and listen to him. You two have only been together for a few months, and love, the kind of love that good relationships are based on, usually takes longer then two months to develop. Realize that the two of you still have a lot to learn about each other. And that getting to know each other is an exciting process. Relax. He knows how you feel and he is being sweet to you. You love him? So respect how he feels. Leave yourself and him room to grow.
Bayern Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 Well the definition of love, like many things, depends on the person. It's hard to say how long one person takes to fall in love, versus another.
Author GiveAndTake Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 Well, last night was interesting. He's on the road again (truck driver and he leaves for 3-4 days at a time) His sister is always with me while he's away. Last night she insinuated that she had a conversation with my boyfriend about his feelings. I asked her to elaborate. She was vague but pretty much said "my brother loves you". I said, "no he doesn't" We went back and forth about it and she finally told me exactly what he said. He said the relationship is basically perfect and it scares him how fast it moved. He told her that he never met anyone like me. He told her that he has a hard time telling someone that he loves them even when he does love them. She interpreted this as him admitting to loving me. I told her I believe her brother loves me. She said she knows him better than anyone and said "I KNOW he loves you". I don't know what to think. If I was sure he loved me even if he didn't say it, I could live with that for now. If he does not love me, I'm afraid I might start pulling away. What do you all think?
carhill Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 Carhill said: You may not like that he's being circumspect about his feelings, but your attraction is still strong. He's a bit of a mystery and somewhat confusing. This is a real good example of how to identify and balance healthy relationship dynamics with attraction. Like craving sugar which makes you fat, even though you hate being fat, you still are attracted to the sugar.
sugarmomma Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I don't know what to think. If I was sure he loved me even if he didn't say it, I could live with that for now. If he does not love me, I'm afraid I might start pulling away. What do you all think? In your original post you stated that you know that he is in love with you. Now that he told his sister and not you directly, you want to start pulling back from him? If you do that you will ruin this r. He seems like a nice guy and how he treats you should speak louder than any silly words that can come out of his mouth. I know plenty of people in dysfunctional r that throw those words around like its nothing. Or people who say it and treat their partners in the exact opposite. If a man showed me that he loved me and never said it I couldn't care less. You need to be more mature and give him a break. He seems like a nice guy and you're blowing it with your insecurities. His actions are speaking louder than his words, so let them, after all, they're only WORDS. Have fun and enjoy him. He seems like a great catch. Women kill me. Oh wait! I'm a woman.
Author GiveAndTake Posted July 16, 2009 Author Posted July 16, 2009 Now that he told his sister and not you directly, you want to start pulling back from him? I guess that's what I'm asking. Do you think that what he told his sister was that he loves me? If so, I'll be ok with that.
GorillaTheater Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 I guess that's what I'm asking. Do you think that what he told his sister was that he loves me? If so, I'll be ok with that. His sister is in a much better position to judge that than we are, and she thought so. If that's not good enough, then I don't know what to tell you. It seems to me that you're largely ignoring the good advice you're getting here and are on the cusp of screwing up your relationship.
sugarmomma Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I guess that's what I'm asking. Do you think that what he told his sister was that he loves me? If so, I'll be ok with that. Does he TREAT you like he loves you? Did you disregard everything else I said?
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