bolase Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Hi all, Thanks to all of you giving advice! I've been reading this forum a bit and some of the advice about NC has helped amazingly since my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. We were together 1 1/2 years. We do the same course, have a bunch of mutual mates, office space in the same hallway etc, all of it, but I've been overseas for the past 2 months (he called just after I left saying he has no time for a girlfriend, thought we were holding each other back, not in love and a thousand more things to presumably try to get me to agree with him, but I was broken). Although I accepted its over and told him I couldnt handle anything else, we were in contact every week before this one, mostly cause I couldn't help emailing him. Ive held out a full week now. My issue is, after an amazing and seriously theraputic couple of months away from the whole situation, I return home in 3 weeks and already feel shot when I think of it. While Ive been away I know 2 things for sure - another girl who's always liked him keeps mentioning him in a knowing way on her facebook page which makes me sad, and secondly he's doing high profile community stuff and has become a hometown hero which i respect but is harder, sad as that is! Im kinda completely happy here and dont want to come home to face all that, plus breaking NC is going to happen and I just want so hard to keep up the spirits and steps ive walked to get over him. If anyone has advice...similar situations...words that help..I would be grateful!
dxb Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Tricky - you're going to have break NC in order to reach a settlement. If I were you I would have a polite but firm quick chat with him and explain that you understand how you both need to move on, but you will find that hard to do unless you can keep a certain amount of distance from each other. Just ask him to be sensitive to the fact that you don't want to have a great deal to do with him. If he's got any decency about him he'll understand.
Road To Joy Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I was like this the first month it ended. I wanted more than anything to flee the country, at least for a while. I wanted to visit my family overseas, and hoped that would bring me back to when I was a happy kid, traveling the world with my wonderful family. I was truly desperate to leave what I often called 'this sh*thole of a country', ha. Until someone told me that was just running away, and I would have to face my problems eventually. I'm glad I didn't leave the country, 'cause it would've been harder for me to come back, and I can only imagine the fear going through you right now. My suggestion would be when you get home, contact him. Somewhere private preferably and let him know you two need to keep your distance. Ask him not to contact you except when necessary (work) and to please be mature and not rub anything into your face (new lovers, etc). If he's even the type to do that. After that, you're on your way to healing! Make sure not to go places he often goes to (besides your job, obv. lol). Don't snoop his MySpace or Facebook. Don't bring him up to your friends to try to find out what's happening with him. Nothing. Read this, follow it, and you're set. Good luck! And remember you're not alone. Come here whenever you need to.
Author bolase Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 oh man. I should mention that I left to go do my fieldwork, NOT running away - he broke up with me by phone, a few days after I'd got here so this situation wasn't a choice or anything. Thanks for those words, knowing others have felt these feelings is a comfort
Recommended Posts