Randompeep Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 So me and my gf had dated for 3 1/2 years before she broke up with me. She told me that no wrongs were done, but that she wanted to have her space and wanted to be friends in the future. Our relationship in the last year or so had started to get a little monotonous and routine. We both had pretty much just finished Uni and our paths for the time being were taking us to different cities. I told her that I did not want for this to happen, but if this is what she wanted we should break all forms of contact (I wish I was able to follow through with this). She did not like the idea and it made her upset and myself as well. I still loved her and cared for her so I really did not want to stop talking to her. So almost nothing had changed for the 2 months I was still living in the same city. We hung out at least once a week and talked to each other almost every day. She would tell me that she still loved me and that she still had hope for us. Fast forward to after I move away, and we were chatting quite frequently for a couple of weeks and she would say that she missed me. One weekend I tried calling her a couple of times but she did not answer. She ended up calling me a few days later telling me to stop calling and broke the news that she had started dating someone else. After hearing this I started to go crazy inside; my heart ached and I fell into a deep depression. I sent her emails telling her about how I felt, pouring my heart out to her, and that I was going to fight to get her back (in retrospect it was pretty pathetic, but I wanted her to know how I was feeling). She responded to a few but then eventually started to ignore me; I was definitely successful at pushing her away. I was afraid that I had lost her. It took a couple of weeks for my head to clear and begin to make logical sense of the situation. I sent her a final email saying that I was feeling better and that I've come to realize that we're both young and have a lot of life to experience ahead of us. I look back on what happened and wished that I was smarter and actually followed through with having no connections. This was my first serious relationship where I fell in love with my partner and I still love her. But you live and learn and I am wiser because of what happened (too bad I did not find this site earlier to help me follow through with my initial instincts). I still want her back and I miss her so much, and I am afraid that my reactions might have pushed her away for good (but I guess there is nothing I can do about that now). I do feel as though I had let myself be used. I feel like she used my love to make herself feel wanted and secure, to quell her fears of being alone, until she moved on to someone else. I don't know if this is true and opinions are welcome. I still think about her everyday and she is often in my dreams, but at least I am able to focus better now and stay strong. I know it's long, so thanks for reading.
Exit Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Yeah, by staying friends like that, you opened yourself up to the pain of still being around when she met someone else. She probably did hang on to you just to make herself feel better, the second someone else comes along suddenly she doesn't need your phone calls or friendship anymore. Pretty selfish of her to do that, and it would be best to just cut your losses and make sure you don't contact anymore.
dxb Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Sorry to hear about how it all ended up. Still, draw on the positive side of things - the pain you've gone through and now shared with us might just help someone else avoid having to go through it too. And it makes you a better, stronger person for it.
Recommended Posts