jcs8528 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Not gonna go into details about the post it was over 60 days ago, but I went through a bad break up and she really led me on for months with promises, etc. Always, always place actions above words. Left me for another guy, her friend who she's know for 20 years and referred to as her "little brother". Gotta say guys this site is the best thing since sliced bread and I only wish I would have found it at twenty (wasn't here yet I'm sure). I realized many things here, but mostly about what kind of person she is and I was. I realized that I was at least 50% responsible for not only the relationship itself, but how I allowed her to act after. I let her treat me that way, I let myself get hooked to someone I knew wasn't good for me. I realized I let myself get into a situation that wasn't healthy emotionally or physically. Many other things as well, but I had had an epiphany when one afternoon I realized I hadn't thought of her yet that day and the only reason I was than was because while packing the house (weeks ago), I found some more of her things. I took the high road in all this and politely returned her stuff, decided to not sue her, especially since creditors call me looking for her, walked away from all of it, the pain, emotion, etc. Reading so many stories on here and such differences in advice and "street" knowledge made a huge difference in not only how I approach my relationships, but my life. After 40 years I have realized many things and not least of which is I am the only one responsible for my happiness. Today I read my first post again for the first time since I wrote it, I looked at the date of April 30 and I would have sworn it was longer than two months since we've been apart. Not only do I not miss her, but wouldn't accept her in my life for anything, I'm way better without her. I don't hate her or wish her ill will. I actually have to thank her because I never would have heard from all of you wonderful individuals out there, nor have had some of the great things happening in my life. I began working out (lost 25 lbs and haven't been in this good of shape since my hockey playing days), house sold for more than 25k profit, got a new dream job in Charleston, SC making huge coin and have been seeing a few different women who are absolutely wonderful in many ways. I am not bragging here but want to illustrate how far I've come and that it was with the help of this site that helped me get here. (if you are wondering, No, I do not pay bonuses, lol) I think of her as I do all people who were in my life, friends and lovers alike, but don't get depressed or sad or think of the past. I read the last posts I read and am embarrassed and laugh at myself and now read the ones of the people who are just starting down my path and want to call everyone of them and say "it's all in your head, you CAN do this. Not only do I know you will get over this but you will be a better person after it, no matter what your situation is. Everyone at that time thinks their break up is the worst in history. The most important thing is that all of this can only happen if YOU take control of YOU. Love yourself" I wanted to thank you all and say that it is because of caring people like you (too many names to mention and I'll bet I've already lost half of my audience from how long it is, lol) that make this world a better place. To be able to come to a place like this and get advice ranging from empathy to "get your sh*t together" is a miracle in itself. We are all individuals, all different, but all hurt the same. Life happens. Live Well.
Author jcs8528 Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 original post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t187492/
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