poman2125 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 really complicated story here, i'll try to make it simple and brief: first there is jane. me and jane hooked up a few times last year. jane really liked me, but i broke things off. we had talked a few months ago about resuming, but i told her that we needed to remain friends and nothing more. she ended up seeing someone right after that. me and jane are friends now, we hang out quite a bit...but i am 99% certain she still has feelings for me. and then there is amy. jane and amy are great friends, and all three of us hung out for a few days when amy came up to visit for the weekend. me and amy have a lot in common, and a certain chemistry that i haven't felt in a long time. i made her laugh constantly. i'd catch her staring at me quite a few times, eye contact, for more than a few seconds. sometimes i'd catch her looking away immediately as i would look her. she was touchy too, even touching my leg on one occasion. amy gave me a very close hug before she departed. i'm wondering if amy likes me? i'm sure that amy has heard all about what's happened between me and jane, and perhaps jane has told her that she still has feelings for me. i feel like amy was holding back a little bit, probably because she knows jane likes me. to make matters worse, the two of them are going to be roommates this coming fall when amy moves back into town. is it unreasonable to try and make anything happen with amy? how should i even proceed with this? i feel like if i tell jane that i just want to continue being friends, she'll bail on our friendship, meaning i'll probably never see amy again. i guess i'm trying to pull off "the switch", going from one friend to another with as little complication and drama as possible.
RA1 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Wow, that's a tough question to answer. If the two girls value their friendship, you may never get the opportunity to start something with Amy. Amy may feel her loyalty to Jane comes first. But if all three of you are mature about it, maybe it could work out for you and Amy. I felt uncomfortable at you using the term pulling off a switch. That's sounds like a con trick. I would recommend a policy of honesty between you and both girls.
boogieboy Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Talk to Amy first. make sure she is feelin you. Then if she is, ask Jane if you seeing amy would be a problem for her. it will, but she cant be mad at you if youre honest and up front. But I think that once you tell Jane that youre going to start seeing amy, if shes smart, that'll be the end of your close friendship with her. She will probably think youre only friends with her to get to Amy. I dont know why you NEED to be friends with A girl youre not attracted, no guys I know do this, but to each his own I guess.
Author poman2125 Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 Wow, that's a tough question to answer. If the two girls value their friendship, you may never get the opportunity to start something with Amy. Amy may feel her loyalty to Jane comes first. But if all three of you are mature about it, maybe it could work out for you and Amy. I felt uncomfortable at you using the term pulling off a switch. That's sounds like a con trick. I would recommend a policy of honesty between you and both girls. no con trick intended, "the switch" is a Seinfeld reference. i don't want to hurt jane and i don't want to ruin things between the 2 of them. i guess it just depresses me to know that the one girl i really care for seems so unreachable.
Author poman2125 Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 Talk to Amy first. make sure she is feelin you. Then if she is, ask Jane if you seeing amy would be a problem for her. it will, but she cant be mad at you if youre honest and up front. But I think that once you tell Jane that youre going to start seeing amy, if shes smart, that'll be the end of your close friendship with her. She will probably think youre only friends with her to get to Amy. I dont know why you NEED to be friends with A girl youre not attracted, no guys I know do this, but to each his own I guess. good idea. the only problem with reaching Amy is that she's out of town, i didn't get a phone number, and i feel sort of uncomfortable having a conversation like that over instant messages or facebook. i'm not even sure how i'd bring it up. then again it might be a bad idea to wait until she moves up here.
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