Taucher Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Well, I called my girlfriend earlier tonight (while a bit drunk - double stupid). She has FINALLY changed her Facebook status to 'single' (7 weeks after leaving me). I called her to say that I saw she changed her status and that I am going to delete her (and all her friends) from my Facebook later. But that I am not doing it to hurt her, but to protect myself. She went very strange. Started crying LOADS. Told me that it was OK for me because I have moved on and go out all the time and am having fun. I dont go out hardly at all so I dont know why she thinks this, and if I HAVE moved on, why should it bother her, as SHE LEFT ME! I said that I cant be her friend on Facebook as seeing pictures of her, especially with future BFs, will kill me inside. She screamed at me about how I am going to find someone first and that knowing that will be too much for her to take. She is not interested in EVER being with anyone (yeah right) and wants to be on her own to 'find herself'. I suggested that if she wants to find herself she should look in the last place she saw herself. She didnt like that. She told me that she thinks about me/us all the time, how she will never find anyone like me. I am, apprantly, the most important person in her life (not important enough to actually have a relationship with though). She then said that cutting her from my life is incredibly cruel and insensitive and that she is hurt by how well I have taken our break up. I havent taken it well at all, I just havent told her how badly it was affecting me. And I didnt give her the satisfaction of telling her how bad it was affecting me. She is now acting like I am the nasty one, like I dumped her. I suspect she is trying to make me feel guilty and she would rather I was moping around thinking about her constantly. I deleted her and all her friends from Facebook. Feels ok, sort of. Ask me again tomorrow. Why is she doing this? SHE LEFT ME! T
SRTtoZ Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Well its clear she regrets breaking up with you but doesnt want to say it. If she still thinks about you all the time, and she will "never find anyone like you" again...that speaks loads. Its all about the No Contact. Girls want what they cant have and she cant have you right now...So she wants you.
wow123 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Yup, she knows she had a great guy and probably thought she could go back to you whenever she wanted to should she decide that. Now you're cutting her out of your life and she is realizing that you're no longer an option. Well played man!
SRTtoZ Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 You're in full control now...if thats what you want.
NopeNah Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I think she herself is doing a role reversal to help with her guilt/concience. "woe is me"..girls can be great at crying on cue also.. My ex did the whole "I think about you all the time" , "miss you so much it hurts",balling everytime she saw me nonsense, at first..If that were the case she would have wanted to try to make it work. Don't read too much into it.
Author Taucher Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 You are right Praying4Daylight. I am not really reading much into her behavoir. My theory on what is going on is this. She dumped me, she wanted to and she did it. The power was all hers. She wanted to remain in contact and see each other 'all the time'. For 6 weeks, that is what we did (well we didnt see each other much). Now, I have decided that I want to end the idea about us being friends and in contact. Suddenly, the power is mine. She does not like this. She dumped me as her boyfriend (sad for me), I have dumped her as a friend (sad for her). "Girls want what they cant have and she cant have you right now...So she wants you." - SRTtoZ I agree with what you say about girls wanting what they cant have, although that is probably applicable to all dumpers, male or female. I dont think she wants me back (not right now anyway) but she wants to know that she COULD have me back if she so wanted. "Well played man!" - wow123 Thanks very much T
broken_promises Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Since I am going this role reversal right now (although the breakup was more of a mutual thing but something I knew was coming for a long time... but I didn't just dump my b/f) and yes, even though I wanted to break up because things were not going well, I still didn't really want to break up. I think that is where the strange flip/regret comes from is when you feel like you weren't getting what you wanted in the relationship and knew it was for the best that it broke up, the point is that you didn't really want to breakup... you wanted things to change. So, seeing someone move on (even if you aren't dating or going out or having fun, we imagine you are) makes us feel like we didn't matter at all to you. Maybe your girl is different in terms of wanting to keep contact for different reasons, and I'm not wanting contact with the ex, but knowing that he just easily moved on (true or not) kills us because it is a slap in the face of how little we meant. For me, the breakup was the hardest decision I have ever made and I agonized over it for MONTHS. If he had said during breakup conversations that we shouldn't breakup, I would have stayed. (So, again... might be different than your situation.)
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