stablesong Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Hey! I've been reading these forums for quite a while and thought I'd finally put my own story up. I'll try and keep it concise... Basically met a girl online in October last year, started getting along really well. She was 19 from the US; I'm 22 in the UK. She came over in December for a couple of weeks. We met up, hit it off HARD, had really amazing times, then she went home. We kept it casual and specifically stated that we weren't exclusive, but carried on talking regularly on skype, AIM, etc. I slept with another girl in January and told her about it, thinking we were being honest. She freaked out and started laying into me. I apologised, and we decided that we liked each other enough to stay exclusive. Sounds a bit dumb in retrospect, but we started speaking about one of us moving to live with the other. I was really content at this place and booked tickets to see her in May. By April though, she'd become distant. I was getting a bit worried, but every time I spoke to her she assured me that she loved me more than anything and that we were exclusive, etc. Finally got out to see her in May and it was incredible. Two weeks of travelling, sex, closeness, intimacy, really amazing times. Then I left and there were lots of tears on both parts. Got home and had an e-mail from her saying she was seeing someone else. I was a bit weirded out. We spoke on the phone and she kept saying she'd got with him because she was lonely but had realised how much she liked me whilst I was out there. Blah, blah, blah. Then I found out from one of her friends that she'd actually slept with quite a few other guys. I was a bit heartbroken and frustrated, as I'd remained faithful since we decided to go exclusive. We ended it via e-mail, mutually deciding that we shouldn't stay in contact. It's now been six weeks since those e-mails, and I've been up and down like nobody's business. I know she's a waste of time and I know I was naive, but I can't seem to shake thoughts of her and this new guy. It's tormenting me. I feel completely over her one day and then unbelievably depressed the next. She was also seeing someone briefly in January - ****ing rich considering she slaughtered me for sleeping with someone else once. Sorry for the length of this post - just needed to vent I guess. Yeah, my problem's basically in not being able to let go. NC has helped. I feel much better than I did when I was still in contact with her. These thoughts and memories just won't go away though. Her and him laughing, her giving him the affection she gave me. Damn.
Giha Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 We all know how you feel. The thought of you being replaced by other, the thought of them together..it's a torture. But time heals this kind of wounds, and you will be ok. Slowly those thoughts will stop and how you feel about it will become weaker and weaker. Just keep your mind busy as much as you can.
broken_promises Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 "I've been up and down like nobody's business. I know she's a waste of time and I know I was naive, but I can't seem to shake thoughts of her and this new guy. It's tormenting me. I feel completely over her one day and then unbelievably depressed the next." I find the tormenting thoughts the worst when you know that the other person is with someone new or doing something without you. And yes, the ups and downs are BRUTAL. I hate feeling like I've come to a good place and then suddenly I'm back feeling horrible again. Ugh. Breakups are really terrible.
Nedved Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 The thoughts of them being with somebody else are definitley the most difficult to deal with for me. In my weak moments thats what gets me down most of all but its getting much better. You just have to stick to NC and take every day as it comes. You'l meet somebody else and suddenly the girl will become a distant memory. You'l be okay in time. good luck
Giha Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 The thoughts of them being with somebody else are definitley the most difficult to deal with for me. In my weak moments thats what gets me down most of all but its getting much better. You just have to stick to NC and take every day as it comes. You'l meet somebody else and suddenly the girl will become a distant memory. You'l be okay in time. good luck In addition, do NOT seek any information about her life in any way. Avoid any way of knowing what she's up to. No one can really handle this kind of information. When I tried to find out what my ex was up to, I ended up raging like a psycho and broke a few things in my room. I might sound kind of a crazy person but it will make you feel terrible, even the smallest thing. Just thought I should add that
Road To Joy Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 In addition, do NOT seek any information about her life in any way. Avoid any way of knowing what she's up to. No one can really handle this kind of information. When I tried to find out what my ex was up to, I ended up raging like a psycho and broke a few things in my room. I might sound kind of a crazy person but it will make you feel terrible, even the smallest thing. This is essential.
Author stablesong Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 Cheers guys - really appreciate the kind words. I am sort of taking each day as it comes. It's not my first break-up, but it's my first in quite a long time, so I just gotta keep the faith that the pain will dissipate. I fortunately have a lot going on in my life, but it's those few little empty periods where stuff starts to swell up. Yeah, I'm completely out of touch. Not seeking any information. Definitely wouldn't be able to handle it. Thanks again.
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