mammax3 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I think he called it off. I mean, I know we're not 'together' but it seems it was somewhat mutual in a long story sort of way. He left it with an I still like you, send me a shout sometime. Does this mean I really can? I told him that I just needed a few days to accept all this... and now it's been a few days (NC) In retrospect, I think I was slowly starting to go slightly controlling and possessive... He tried to warn me that I was heading into forbidden waters, but I ignored it. I'd like to be friends with him. He's a fun, interesting, and I like him too. It seems I'm better right now with just friends while I try and figure myself out. There are qualities about myself that I need to build. Is this fair? I recognize I'm too analytical, so it'd be best maybe if i didn't share all this? Just ask him out for a drink and play it cool? I was anything but cool before but I think I got some perspective and now I don't want to come across as being needy and clingy by calling too soon.
evaG Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Don't call. If that's the issue and you call, he will pull more away and you will become more possessive. Let him be the one to contact you.
boogieboy Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 You still have emotions that are running to high, and its too soon. So you cant really be freinds. Straighten yourself out, then call him. Wait a few months.
Author mammax3 Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 Wow! A few months! That's longer than I would have thought. ...and what if he doesn't call? I guess that's the same question almost everyone has. It's still exhibiting controlling behaviours if I say i want him to like me, right? Thanks for your input.
Ronni_W Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 what if he doesn't call? ... It's still exhibiting controlling behaviours if I say i want him to like me, right? If he doesn't call, it just means that he really doesn't mind one way or the other, if you do or do not "send him a shout" -- he said that, but he doesn't really care about it. The desire for him to like you isn't a controlling behaviour, no, it's just what you want/prefer. If you take any action to try to "make, manipulate or force" him to be with you, then that would be controlling behaviour. Or if you try to "get him" to talk or get together with you even after he's indicated he does not want to do that. (I know he hasn't said this.) I'm sorry that you're hurting...hugs.
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