TheIrishKid Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Hello. I found this website by accident and read a few threads and it got me thinking about my own relationship, and I need some advice. I was a late bloomer. I had a tiny crush on a girl here or there but never felt “wowed” by anyone until I was 19 years old. I had always been shy but with the girl who eventually “wowed” me, even though I was nervous, I just had to talk to her. My first kiss was at 19 and I was a virgin until 20. I dated her for two years and she dumped me when I was 21. Even though the relationship was very unhealthy – something I learned as I got older and more mature – I was so devastated by the relationship that it took me several years to get over her. I’d go on a date here or there but nothing really ever clicked. I met my current girlfriend while 25 years old. I oddly enough met her on a blogging website, though internet dating was awkward and a bit weird to me. We get along better than I could ever have imagined. I knew what I was looking for in a person and she’s met every criteria, including an odd physical bonus I’ve always been a sucker for (blue eyes, brown hair). We dated online for 10 months even though she lived in the South and I lived in the Midwest (distance of 10 hours). It’s easily the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in, though this is only the second one. She graduated from college in May of this year and was able to get a job in my hometown. While the goal was for her to move here, the job she got was truly top-notch. Everything has just fit perfectly and has fallen into place. We’ve currently been dating in the same town for two months, making it almost an entire year since we’ve been together (10 months online with 5 personal meetings, and 2 months in the same town). The problem is this: I love my girlfriend dearly but it’s starting to come to my attention that I’ve only been in two relationships. Again, I’ve always been a late bloomer, and there’s a part of me that wishes I had been a bit wilder and with more girls when I was younger. I’m not nearly as shy as I was with girls before and I can’t help but feel I missed out a bit. I should state that I haven’t cheated on my girlfriend, nor would I ever. I’m far too loyal. This relationship is pretty serious and I could easily see it turning into marriage down the road. I’m just concerned about my lack of a past haunting me in the future. I would never cheat on her, and I love her desperately, but there’s a worry on my part my feelings could eventually turn into resentment toward her. I mean, she moved here and doesn’t really know anybody. What kind of a bastard would I be? I love her and she’s what I’ve been looking for in a person, yet this other stuff is nagging at me. I’m just confused and would appreciate the advice of people with more experience than myself. I want to do what's right for the both of us - I truly love her.
Ronni_W Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Irish, When you find the person you truly love, who loves you, and everything falls into place and fits perfectly THAT IS IT!!! You already have what every other (single, male or female) schmuck is waiting for, searching for, fighting for, yearning for. Your Universe is saying to you, "Hey, Irish, we cut you a break -- you don't have to go through 101 horrible dating and breaking-up experiences before you find THIS ONE, the woman of your dreams, love of your life and light of your heart. Here she is on a silver platter!" At 25, you are not missing ANYTHING other than meeting mostly unsuitable women, going on crappy dates, getting into crappy relationships, having mediocre sex, enduring crappy break-ups...and then doing it all over again with the next one. What part are you going to resent your current girlfriend for? If your sex life is boring, then learn how to do what you're already doing, better, and learn some new stuff, too. Heck, IN ANY CASE, get working on this aspect of your relationship (together.) Buy books, go to seminars, visit sexuality.org. A new woman, or bunch of different women, ain't gonna make the sex any better; ain't gonna make you a better lover. You're gonna hafta learn that on your own, er, well, with the woman you truly love. Your "lack of past" is only going to haunt you if you make a conscious decision to let it. But, why would you do that to yourself? You ALREADY HAVE everything you want in your love relationship (except maybe really excellent sex?) And if it is more about you wanting to gain sexual experience, having "notches on your belt" is totally overrated. Who cares about that? The joy and love and beauty is really in building an emotional connection, and a wonderfully open and intimate sexual relationship, with the woman you truly love...and learning new and varied techniques so that it's always hot and sizzlin' in the bedroom!
Thaddeus Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Ummm... wasn't this posted already? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t194644/
Recommended Posts