mtlasian Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Hey guys, I need to share my story with you guys Here we go: Been with my wife for 11 years and have 3 great kids together. since about 6-7 months ago, I have been feeling very closed and grumpy. Whenever my wife would talk to me, I would respond very coldly and direct, never showing any emotions. My kids would sometimes cause such comotion in the house that I would raise my voice to the level of screaming. Since about 2 weeks ago, I had decided that I cannot talk to my wife or raise my kids this way and that I have a personal problem that needs to be resolved ASAP So I decided to leave the house to try and clear my thoughts and why I am feeling this way. My question is : Am I doing the right thing? Am I over-reacting? signed: Unhappy and sad
LisaUk Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Hi, can I ask how old you are? It sounds like you don't have a problem with your wife but rather a problem within yourself? Would you say this problem is steming from depression? What kinds of thoughts are you having? My advice would be to seek individual counselling for the way you are feeling, I'm not sure I would advocate leaving your wife though, can you talk to her and work through this together?
lupa Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Take it from a guy who was grumpy and cold and distant, and now has a marriage barely on life support. You love this person, or did, so you owe it to her to figure it out with her help...talk to her about you going to counseling, or both of you together. Do not hold her responsible for things you don't express...now that is what is happening to me.
NOTSURE7 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 take it from me, dont hold it all inside...then next thing you will do is go out and have an A or cause some damage that will be irrevirsable...you have recognized a probelm and you have a chance to figure it out and you should do that.i think leaving the house might be extreme but as long as you stay out of trouble and can figure it out anything helps, personally just by the fact your yelling at your kids it sounds like you are just down on life and you should probably seek some professional help. i dont take my own advice but i too am married 11 years and have 3 beautiful kids, the difference is i live a lie(read my post)...you do owe it to yourself and your wife to figure it out.
Author mtlasian Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 thanks for the input: I do feel that I am in a depressive mode. When we feel cold and heartless, I guess these are the signs of depression. I have no more feelings for anyone or anything. What I am feeling today is - I do not have the urge/power to even try to make things better. I just want everything and everyone to go away! I have been thinking so hard since 2 weeks that my brain grew 2 inches!!! Let me tell you guys that I am very much aware of the pain that I am causing and the hearts that I am breaking. I feel like I am giving up on everything that is important to me, but lack the courage or strength to continue. My aggressiveness seems to be always there and until I am able to control and bury it, I will never be happy with myself! Btw, I'm 37 I do not hold anyone responsible but me. My wife and I have had our ups and downs like any other couple, but we always pulled through together. Just that this time around, my aggressiveness has gotten me kicked out of the house 4x in 6 months.
LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Hi, it does sound like you have servere depression, you really do need to see a doctor first and then a therapist for help with this. I know this might seem difficult to do at the moment as you have no energy to do anything, but the sooner you see a doc and get some meds the sooner you can start to deal with the underlying issues that are at the root of your depression with a therapist. Once you are on this road, you are on the road to recovery for yourself (feeling much better) and also on the journey back to your wife and family.
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