cyril's fan Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I've been wondering about this though I know it doesn't help dwelling. But I'm just curious after reading some threads about people contacting people after a breakup and wonder if my case is an anomaly. (Sometimes though I wish some of them would contact me again and ask for second chances.) All my breakups have been really clean. There has never been a time when either party contacts each other again after some time to either try to get back together or just want to be friends. I don't really believe in being friends after a relationship so I've always gone NC. Why I do that, I understand. Why my exes do that, I don't quite. I don't know whether it just shows they didn't love me enough or they also didn't believe in friends after relationships or they could see my determination in not resuming contact so they just decided that there wasn't much point in them trying to contact me or they understand that it's easier for one to get over the heartache without contact and decide to not cause more hurt. In general, what do you guys think? And if you went NC with an ex, what was your reason? And if your exes went NC, did you ever find out the reason and if so, what was it?
adamt Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 My and the ex havent contacted each other since the break up about 7 weeks ago apart from 1 text each. We didnt discuss about contacting or not. We both just not bothered. probably not talk to each other unless we bump into each other in the street. we left on as good terms as possible, i was devastated but held no grudges. whats the point unless she did soemthign bad? I've got nothing to contact her about apart from "can we get back together" whats the point in saying anything else. what does it achieve i'm guessing she hasnt bothered contacting me because she has moved on and/or doesnt want to hurt my feelings with false hope. Not sure if it is an age thing but we are both in our late 30s and too old to play games with people. people seem a lot straighter with what they want. time is not on your side if you want to settle down. basically I have gone NC because i want to heal, get over her,think clearly and keep myself respect. Who's to say if i kept contacting her she is just showing her friends what i have sent her? its about me now, not her. I'm focusing on myself. I tried my best the day we split up, after that day i wont be trying to get her back. she made the choice.
Author cyril's fan Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 My and the ex havent contacted each other since the break up about 7 weeks ago apart from 1 text each. We didnt discuss about contacting or not. We both just not bothered. probably not talk to each other unless we bump into each other in the street. we left on as good terms as possible, i was devastated but held no grudges. whats the point unless she did soemthign bad? I've got nothing to contact her about apart from "can we get back together" whats the point in saying anything else. what does it achieve i'm guessing she hasnt bothered contacting me because she has moved on and/or doesnt want to hurt my feelings with false hope. Not sure if it is an age thing but we are both in our late 30s and too old to play games with people. people seem a lot straighter with what they want. time is not on your side if you want to settle down. basically I have gone NC because i want to heal, get over her,think clearly and keep myself respect. Who's to say if i kept contacting her she is just showing her friends what i have sent her? its about me now, not her. I'm focusing on myself. I tried my best the day we split up, after that day i wont be trying to get her back. she made the choice. Why don't you ask to try again with her? It seems like you want to. For some of my cases, I don't understand how the guys could still say how much they felt about me yet break up with me. Words and actions don't match.
adamt Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Why don't you ask to try again with her? It seems like you want to. For some of my cases, I don't understand how the guys could still say how much they felt about me yet break up with me. Words and actions don't match. I cant really see her wanting to give it another go, at the moment i dont want to risk getting hurt again and going back to day 1. i think she had been thinking for a while to split up and so thought it through. she knows where to get hold of me and she know how i feel. i was willing to talk through the problems and give things a chance, she wasnt. she is the sort who once makes decision then thats it.
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