jlswapple Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Hey guys, I know this is somewhat long, but I would LOVE some wise advice! So, I'm going to start from the beginning of the whole sordid story. I recently became single after dating my one and only bf for 3 years. I work in a bar/restaurant, and every so often a certain guy shows up with his buddies for a few drinks. He's always been very friendly towards me, and very flirty (whenever he had a few drinks in him) Anyways, a few weeks ago, I stopped in at the restaurant one night to chat with some coworkers. He's already been there for awhile and long story short, we make out like crazy into the wee hours of the morning. Harmless fling right? I end up working the dinner shift two days later and he stops in to say hi, and invites me to a party later on. I ended up meeting him there, and before you know it we're back at his place. Before anything happens,I let him know that I'm not looking for anything serious, and he also knows that I've only been with one guy. So we have a fine and dandy time, and when I leave early in the morning things are very friendly and casual (albeit slightly awkward) He gives me a call 2 days later and asks if I'm heading to the beach (which I am) He meets me there and we chit chat and make plans to meet up later that night. Well, repeat the same situaton as 2 nights ago. I let him know again that I really don't want anything serious, and he asked me not to play around with him. ( on a sidenote, that night his friend came up to me and told me he's never seen him so into a girl before) Anyways, we make plans to go for a run together sometime soon, and we leave on a good note. He ends up going camping for a weekend and then for whole week he's pretty much MIA. I sent him a couple txt msgs just touching base with him and he always replied back very nicely and promtly. I was pretty much over the whole thing because I hadn't heard from him in some time, and I swore off one nightstands because of the icky feeing I had, when a few nights ago I started work and he's there finishing up dinner. As he's leaving he barely says two words to me, smiles, and walks out. I think, thats bullcrap, and go after him to talk. I askedd what that was all about and he said he didn't really know what to say to me, he wasn't sure. I said don't be silly it's cool it doesn't have to be like that. Anyways, we're just chatting and he seems very friendly still, and he asks if I'd like to go for a hike in a few days. I said sure, sounds cool. I was just being very casual and friendly, no pressure! SO! the good part. Last night I go out with some girlfriends to a party and he's there. We had plans for that hike for the following day so we chatted about that. Aside from that though, he was completely distant and barely talked to me. Seeing that, my girlfriend (who was piss drunk) went up to him and gave him hell for treating me like that) Thats the last thing I wanted so for 'damage control' I talked to his good buddy, and told him I liked his friend, and i wanted to have 'fun' with him, but I didn't want himt to have fun with other girls. I was pretty knockered at this point without the best judgement and so his friend said he'd go talk to him. Well, apparently he didn't want that because he thinks I'd want a relationship or get too serious, and he could never just have a thing with one girl ! This is somewhat boggling me because from the get-go I told him no strings attached,and he's the one who asked me not to play him. I tried talking to him, but he just wasn't up for it after my girlfriends outburst, which I can hardly blame him for. I also knew it wasn't the best time and place for that kind of conversation. So, being a drunken idiot I flirted shamelessly with other boys in front of him and ended up kissing a good friend of mine to make him jealous. This is the last thing I wanted to do, but whatever, ...it happened. I have officially sworn off random hookups and am just chalking this up as a lesson learned. I really just want to know why he acted like that! For the past 3 years I've been in a serious commited relationship while working and going to university, and I was just hoping for a fun summer fling! I guess not, but I just plan on never letting anything like this happen again So thanks for reading my speil, I would appreciate any helpful comments
AllyC Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 i wanted to have 'fun' with him, but I didn't want himt to have fun with other girls. That to him just screams "RELATIONSHIP." After all, exclusivity does turn into a relationship, and sometimes vice-versa. Drunk or not, you said what you said, and he does not want just one girl, like you mentioned. I've said a lot of stupid things while drunk, and it sucks... It's like in court, you can object all you want but the jury already heard it...
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