mkeane880 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I've only been in one long term serious relationship, which ended just about 2 months ago. We were dating for 3 years, 1 of which we lived together. I was the dumper, and am still in the house we lived in together. I have a box of stuff he gave me, pictures, presents, etc. I really think that I will feel better once I get rid of EVERYTHING, but I don't want to regret it after the fact. I've kept pictures of me with my other boyfriend, but we were only together for less than a year and it was not that serious. What is everyone's opinion on this? Clean house, keep some of the things? Pawn shop? I think it would be an important part of the healing process, but I don't know what to do. Thanks for your help everyone!
Giha Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 If it was me, I'd put everything somewhere I'll never see it and hard to reach. Even in my parents house or something, until I was ready to throw it away. Good luck.
Battlewax Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I would suggest boxing them up and putting them in some out of the way place. I mean like WAAAAAAAAAAAAY out of easy access. My fist serious relationship I got rid of everything. Years later, I look back and wish I hadn't. When the dust settles and you've become indifferent, you may want to look back. See how you've moved on, see how you've grown and you may look back and think of the good times. my .02
Thaddeus Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 If it was me, I'd put everything somewhere I'll never see it and hard to reach. Even in my parents house or something, until I was ready to throw it away. I would suggest boxing them up and putting them in some out of the way place. I mean like WAAAAAAAAAAAAY out of easy access. Agreed. Possibly rent a storage spot, if you can't store the stuff at your parent's place or whatever. Give it a year. After a full year - and NO CHEATING, no rummaging through the stuff once every month or so - then decide. Making decisions like what to keep and what to throw away should not be done in the heat of the moment or when emotions are running high. Take a year to get some perspective and then you'll have a better frame of mind, without the powerful emotions, to make a good decision.
dxb Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Chuck it all. In a year's time when you're in a much better long term relationship, all those pictures and gifts are going to be meaningless.
Battlewax Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Chuck it all. In a year's time when you're in a much better long term relationship, all those pictures and gifts are going to be meaningless. I call bull****. If you truly grow then it won't be meaningless. Unless of course you don't want to learn and don't want to grow.
boogieboy Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Get rid of all of it. If you know where you made your mistakes, and you exercise it with a new guy, you dont need reminders of old flames. I think it will help you move on, if youre hurt, to throw it all away. The best closure of all.
NopeNah Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I put most gifts and photos away. The gifts are now back out(watch's,neclaces,ect..), photo's..not yet. I did throw all the cards/letters, I could find, away. The person that wrote all the sweet messages is no longer here. So, whats the point of reading past feelings? I'll get to the point where I can take the photos down and put them with the other past relationship pics.
broken_promises Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I generally keep a small box of presents and pictures and such from my relationships and leave it at my mom's house. You don't have to keep everything, just the important things. I usually go through them one last time (and do the whole pity party thing) and then store them away. I think I might have gone through the boxes from my past two relationships maybe once or twice over the years, but I never regret keeping the things. I see it as sort of a necessary time capsule... but yeah, you don't want it sitting next to your bed or anything! So, I say keep the stuff but find a place to store it (parents, friend, crawl space in the attic) because it is part of your history.
Ingenue Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 If you're worried about eventually regretting purging those items, box them up and then assess them when you're not emotionally invested or sentimental about them. Initially after my break up, I placed everything that reminded me of the relationship into a box and placed it in the far reaches of my closet. While I never forgot it was there, the temptation of having immediate access was enough of a deterrent for me that I couldn't be bothered to collect the box and open it up. The emails and photos were deleted/discarded. Now, a year later, I've reopened the box and look at the objects with indifference. Some of the objects I've sold or am in the process of selling. Others, I've thrown away or decided to keep.
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