zulu girl Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Ok, this is for my best friend, she is married and has had pleanty of ups and downs in her marriage, but the worked really hard through it, and have come out on top, they are happy. He has this friend, whom he knows thru work, and they have recently started to become friends with this guy and his wife, My best friend tells me they are both wonderful people, and she really gets along with the wife, and she is all excited as she has not really hit of "friends" with other mates wives. Here is the problem, she is attracted to this man, she thinks he is very good looking, loves his personality and all that, She is not about to hit on him, or sleep with him, or even hint to feeling this way to anyone, she is not a bad person, She has found she cant stop thinking about him, and is really nervous now about meeting with this couple, What can I tell her??? she feels guilty, and doesnt know how to deal with it, as it has never happened before, but she is a good person, and is not a cheated, and this guy has no idea. ADVICE PLEASE??
Thornton Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Tell her to think what she likes in private, but not to act on it. Problem solved Nobody should feel guilty about their thoughts. However, the fact that she can't stop thinking about another man suggests that perhaps something is lacking in her own relationship... she might want to think about that and consider what she can do about it... what does this other man have that her husband doesn't?
jnj express Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 thornton's advise was pretty much on point, but if she can't control her thoughts, and with continued contact with this couple things might escalate to an unacceptable level, then she needs to tell her H. that the friendship with that couple is ended as of right NOW. Find other couple's where the male will not be an attraction that could harm her mge. H. may want to know why she wants to cut the contact with the couple, just tell him she has a bad feeling about these people and wants to end the relationship, and DO END IT NOW.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Here is the problem, she is attracted to this man, she thinks he is very good looking, loves his personality and all that, She is not about to hit on him, or sleep with him, or even hint to feeling this way to anyone, she is not a bad person, If she isn't going to hint feeling this way to anyone, then how do you know about it? She has found she cant stop thinking about him, and is really nervous now about meeting with this couple, If she can't start thinking about him, then she is obsessed and cannot really say with all confidence that she will not "hot on him, or sleep with him". If the perfect situation arose where she didn't think anyone would find out, you better believe someone like her, that can't stop thinking about him, WILL take the dive. What can I tell her??? she feels guilty, and doesnt know how to deal with it, as it has never happened before, but she is a good person, and is not a cheated, and this guy has no idea. ADVICE PLEASE?? Tell her to snap out of it. Take her out and just tell her the cold hard truth of it. Don't sugarcoat it. Take her out for a drink and say, "Look, you have a wonderful husband and family....don't be a f#####g stupid idiot and go pissing it all away for a silly little attraction" cuz again, even though she says she won't do anything, she is clearly obsessed with him, fantasizing, and would like to bone him. And she won't if she thinks she will get caught. But thats just the thing, there comes a time when an opporutinity arises where they don't think they will get caught.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 However, the fact that she can't stop thinking about another man suggests that perhaps something is lacking in her own relationship... she might want to think about that and consider what she can do about it... what does this other man have that her husband doesn't? Uh, possibly that he is new meat and she hasn't had him.........yet
utterer of lies Posted July 16, 2009 Posted July 16, 2009 She has found she cant stop thinking about him, and is really nervous now about meeting with this couple, What can I tell her??? she feels guilty, and doesnt know how to deal with it, as it has never happened before, but she is a good person, and is not a cheated, and this guy has no idea. ADVICE PLEASE?? Rush into an affair headfirst, experience the thrills, enjoy the up and downs and think short-term only. Everything else might not endanger your marriage, and is therefore too boring to even consider.
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