blinkyz Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I don't usually do this sort of thing, but I'm finding it extremely hard to cope as my friends are just shouting at me and not giving me appropriate advice on what to do... Basically I've had 6 years of failed relationships, with my last one being 2.5 years long and I ended up getting cheated on.. and then I come across the most wonderful guy in the world.. or so I think.. I met him when I was visiting a friend abroad and even though I hate the long distance thing, I decided to make it work. We met in January and a month later I went back to spend a wonderful 6 weeks with him. It was a whirlwind romance and from the beginning everything was so complicated (girls trying to mess things up for us, my ex trying to get me back..etc) but we were determined to make things work. He was moving to another country shortly for work purposes and asked me to go with, and hey I'm used to moving around so I agreed. He came and met my family at Easter and they got on like a house on fire. Everything just seemed so right.. A month later I had moved to be with him and we were sorting plans out to move to the other country where he's going to for work.. And this is where it all started going wrong. We were in each others hair constantly which caused a lot of arguments.. and one day he just couldn't deal with it anymore and broke down and I sat there for 3 hours crying and trying to talk to him tomake him realise we weren't sorting our arguments out and that we were just plain arguing.. He agreed and that he wouldn't make any promises but wanted to give us another chance.. 2 weeks later he had these "bad feelings" in his gut and said he couldn't do it anymore. I tried talking to him and working things out but he told me to go home.. I was so angry that I just packed everything up and thankfully I had a friend in the next town so I could stay there until I could find a flight. By this time I had already told my mom and she was heartbroken.. I got to my friends and he told me it was all a mistake and that he wants me back. I went back 2 days later just to talk to him and I decided to give him another chance. After this, we kept arguing and bickering over stupid things and we couldn't get on. I kept crying and missing home, he was missing his friends and it was all way too stressful.. so we had another talk and I told him not to make any decisions until he's sure.. and he told me to go home. Again. So this time I booked a flight straight away and I was due home 2 days later.. He again begged me to stay but I had already told my mom again and I couldn't keep doing this to her. So I went home, even though I didn't want to and I just wanted to work things out. Basically he HAS to go to this other country as he will be in financial trouble and I don't want that for him.. but I don't want to run back to him and just feel like I'm being walked all over.. He said he's determined to make this work and we talk on Skype every day and I just keep getting upset, happy, sad, a range of emotions and it's stressing him out too. Last night I asked if he needed help writing an email to a letting agent and it tore me apart so I had to log off, as it just reminded me that I wanted to be there with him. After I had calmed down after a while.. I came back on and he said I could help him tomorrow. As we were moving in with his best friend too, I messaged him asking if he needed help and he said "Thanks but we've already sent them earlier today". So I asked my boyfriend if he lied to me and he replied No. So I checked his emails and he had sent it. He told me he was worried about my stress levels and didn't want to affect me more as he saw what it did to me just helping him out with it to begin with.. I was ready to end it last night because I'm so angry and I feel lied to and betrayed...He's saying he wants a decision and I won't make one when I'm angry and he's letting the stress get to him and I'm not sure if he can handle it but I need my time to think.. This morning, I feel heartbroken again and I don't know what to do. I love him, I know that. Even though it's only been 6 months, I love him more than any of my previous and longer relationships. I just don't know where to go from here.. I don't want to be without him but I'm so hurt and my stress levels are at an all time high. I'm sorry if this was a long-winded post, but there's been a load of trouble
Author blinkyz Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 Could someone help? ......... I don't know what to do anymore...
thelostsoul89 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I think he needs to learn how to make up his mind. From what you wrote, to me it seems like he is the cause of alot of your stress. Making you leave, come back, leave again etc. Even if you do truely love him, you cant just let him "walk all over you". I mean it sounds really immature of this guy to make you leave and hurt you over stupid meaningless bickering. How does he expect to work it out if he cant learn to stop agruing over stupid crap. It seems he's either afraid of the commiment of you living there or he just plain out has issues. Maybe you guys need to calm done and stop stressing over this, take your time and think stuff over. You two have been seeing eachother for only 6 months and your already having issues. You really need to sort out these issues with him and dont get too stressed out before theres no chance to make it work. And about the email, to me it seems like your over reacting. Maybe he really truely didnt want to make you stressed out, which is a good thing.
13arkansas Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 You went through all this in just 6 months? He doesn't sound ready for a relationship. Are you two young? Relationships are NOT meant to be this hard. You need to know when to walk away (i.e. now) and open your life up for the right guy, one who will love you AND won't drag you around a horrible drama filled rollercoaster. It is absolutely NUTS that you've had all this crazy intensity over just a few months.
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