laxislove 6 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 OK. Me and my ex were best friends for years before we started dating. Then we started liking each other and in a period of 1 year we fell irrevocably in love. We were both each others first and i was my ex first girlfriend. We kept our love secret due to my parents who would never accept our relationship. My friends were ok with us but some of my exes friends weren't. I guess it cuz we fought so much and because my exes best friend was hating on me cuz well i was truly always the best friend. Well we went through alot together in a year bulimia etc but i never regretted any of it. My ex broke up with me cuz my parents found out. We got torn apart. I went on a rebound immediately and my ex never has forgotten about it. We both said alot of hurtful things it waas an emotional roller coaster for 8 months I love yous I hate yous I want you I dont that type of thing... I guess she never really thought it couldve happened. A year later and we still talk. Awkwardly. My ex is now into x, lcd and pot. Now she also has a weird and sick relationship with her best friend. Cant make her best friend mad, has to do wat she says, she feels hurt when her best freind is hurt gotta always make sure her best friend is not mad at her says she cant take it. We still kinda talk and she calls me hun, sweetie and bue. She knows how I feel about her. How I still love her and she tells me that she doesnt fell the same way or how she doesnt know and has alot goin on in her life. How she cant deal because she is not a good person. How she doesn't deserve my love.Yet when i stop talking to her or say one thing bout getting a new bf she gets hurt and freaks out. Now she wants to try to be freinds again. She says that after evreything we've been through she still feels like she can tell me anything and know that i will never judge her. That she knew I was here. After a good convo she started being kinda flirty. And said she wanted to meet up. Even though it killed me I went to the movies with her. I havent seen her in a year yet it wasnt wierd. She drove up 30 min to come see me. I couldn't look at her because I was scared I would..idk it just hurt. When we did have eye contact i could still see love in her eyes. But our "date" was completely friendly. The bad thing was that her best friend found out we were hanging out and freaked out. Before the the movie they were yelling on the fone and she got really upset. I offered to go home and she actually considered leaving but stayed. She was upset then during the movie. I think part of it was because of her best friend and because i refused to look at her or tried really hard not to touch her. I think she even tried some moves so i would look at her but i stood my ground. It hurt too much. When we drove home we talked a lil bout why her bestfriend would be mad. She said thats what she gets for tryingg to make people happy. When we got home we both kinda didnt want to leave. She said she wanted to give me a hug. So she did. It was a really long hug. The ones that are award and then slowly you put so much emotion in it. I pulled away and walked quickly to my doorway. When i turned around she was still on the same spot with a confused look on her face and said we should do this again sometime. AND SHE RELUCTANTLY PULLED OUT OF MY DRIVEWAY WHILE STILL STARING at me until she couldnt see me. After that i haven't herd from her. I tried emailing her and she didnt write back. Then my best friend got into a car accident and so i emailed her to tell her. All i got was a very short thank you for telling me, im gonna go visit her bye. IT was really short. I dont know why she is acting like this?! I didnt do anything. When i go online she quickly logs off. After i saw her i was so depressed for about 4 days then im slowely getting up on my feet again. But why is she ignoring me? We didnt talk that much but I still think she is acting strange..especially after the whole Lets be freinds thing..Any advice ?
IcemanJB Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 First, I would suggest breaking up that wall of text into paragraphs. Wow I see a lot similarities to what I've been though. I'll explain a bit what happened to me, then tell you what I did to get through it. After my ex and I broke up, we still kept in contact for a couple months afterwards - mostly her initiating. I realized it was HURTING ME (like what's happening to you), and told her not to contact me until I did first. This was one of the best things I've ever done. That lasted 3 months, until she started texting/emailing me again. Shortly after that, she offered to take me out for coffee for my birthday - which I stupidly accepted. All those old feelings came rushing back when I saw her and she jumped up to hug me, and there was obviously still a lot there between us. I could tell since her eyes give her away. I suggested we leave after 45 minutes or so, and I walked with her back towards her apartment. We hugged a couple times, I kissed her on the cheek...and as we were parting, she would keep turning to say something to me, smile, etc. Sound familiar? Ever since then I have not initiated anything with her, but she'll say something to me almost weekly - even as far as offering to drive me somewhere! Be glad your ex isn't stringing you along (knowingly or unknowingly). I've realized a few things: 1.)I might always have a weakness for this girl - I've accepted this. 2.)The ball is in her court (she essentially broke up with me, but it was needed for her sake). 3.)She is not right for me - she has some growing up to do. Basically I'm suggesting to just do your best to move ahead. Leave her alone - it's her call now. From the sounds of it, there isn't much you can do - the best you can do is better yourself. Trust me, I've done just this, and I'm really glad I have.
Author laxislove 6 Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 Thanx Iceman JB. Its just so damn hard. What sucks is that I know she will get a new boyfriend soon. She hasnt dated anyone since me ( its been a year!) but I know its coming soon. I'v never felt like this before! I'm keeeping tabs on her so I know this ex buddy of mine is into her ugh. I need to break this vicious cycle. But its so damn hard when she contacts me all the time like she just did right now. I want to tell her to stop and a part of me wants her to stop and a part of me doesnt...but i know its cuz im holdin on to the past. Man..I got a weakness for this girl. But thanx bro.
lilly83 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I know it is hard but the best thing to do is cut out all contact with her and do not see her until you have moved on. By hearing from her and seeing her you are not giving your self a chance to grevie on the relationship and move on. Hurt and breaking up is something that everyone has to go through and it is a part of growing up and learning. Go out and have fun with your friends, enjoy being young free and single and do the things that you want to do. When the time is right and when you least expect it you will meet someone else. You both need time to move on from the relationship before you have a chance of building up a friendship again and also sorry to say but the friendship will never be the same. If you try to be friends while you still have feelings for each other it will not work and it will complicate things.
likeORIGAMI Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 You're on the receiving end of NO CONTACT; something you should try exercising as well.
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