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Posted

Hi,

 

Could I have some opinions on the general time frame in which a couple should meet one anothers parents?

 

Thanks.

Posted

The last two girls I dated, I met their parents within the 1st month. The recent one was really excited/nervous about it, which was kind of weird to me.

 

I don't really make a big deal of it - in other words, I'm not going to set aside a dinner or something just so she can meet my parents. Unless she makes it known that she really wants to meet them, I just let it happen naturally (since I live pretty close to them, I see them often).

Posted

I'm really close to my mom, so it usually doesn't take very long at all for a guy to meet her. I'm at her house at least 3 nights a week most weeks, and if I'm dating someone, I'll easily invite them over. But my mother is one of those down to earth parents that make you forget they're actually someone's parents instead of a friend.

 

My dad is pretty much the same way, but I'm not around him quite as much, so it takes longer for a guy to get to meet him. It's usually never a planned thing. My dad is a drag racer, and I try to go to the track every so often, and most guys don't mind going to the race track, so that's usually my easy-going introduction with my dad.

 

As far as meeting a guys parents, that's something I'm waaaay more nervous about. My easy-going, laid back parents have made me parentally challenged when it comes to other parents. And it seems like every guy I've dates has those uptight, dinner party style parents that I'm just oh so unfamiliar with. I'm not used to censoring myself or anything, and that's what's required around most guys' parents. So I often try to put off the meeting of his parents way longer than one normally would. The past few guys I've dated, I've met their parents randomly... Like the mom would show up at the house unannounced because her washing machine tore up and she needed to wash her clothes for the next day.

 

Funny story... The last exclusive ex-boyfriend had pretty uptight parents. I'd seen his dad before, but his brother had been in a motorcycle accident, so we didn't exactly talk... Everyone was more worried about the brother than conversation. So when did I actually get to meet his dad? After we left a bar, and I didn't realize how drunk he was (though I was pretty wasted too), and he decided halfway home that it was too far to drive so he took a detour to his parents house. I got introduced this way: "Hey, this is 'wingwoman', yes the girlfriend you haven't met. We're too drunk to get home, so we're crashing here. Good night." Needless to say, I freaked out the whole night and couldn't sleep because a) I know that wasn't the best first impression, and b) we were staying at his parents' place. lol. So yeah, just make sure that's not how you introduce your s/o to your parents, and you'll be good.

  • Author
Posted

I guess my question is based around this:

 

He goes to the beach each weekend to the family beach house, and I have not been invited. Meanwhile, each weekend is then spent without him becuase he's somewhere else. I think it's because his parents are around and perhaps it's too early to meet them. I don't know. I'm not certain, but if it was me, I'd most certainly bring him away on weekends with me. I don't understand fully.

Posted

How long have you been together?

 

My boyfriend met my both of my parents and step-parents after 2 months of dating. I met his mom about 1 month ago, because everytime we had plans to meet...something came up. I thought that was about normal for him to meet mine. I actually brought him to a family wedding just after 2 months of dating and he met my entire family in one day! He loved them and everyone loved him.

  • Author
Posted

That's just it, it's a foggy area. We've know one another since last Christmas, yet we only just started dating. We were back and forth so many times, and it's taken us so long to get here, I feel like we've already gone through the awkward stages with one another. I know after all the ups and downs, my parents would love to meet him. I would love to meet his parents.

 

I feel pushed aside though. Knowing he goes away every weekend and has a great time... without me. I wonder "what's wrong with me that I can't go?" That's why I wonder if it's because his parents are around. I don't know. I think it's only natural to second guess yourself in a situation like this, but it's true. It's hard, and I don't have the answers.

 

On one hand, I don't think I should feel like it's a relationship until I meet his parents given our past. On the other hand, we've come so far, I can't give up.

 

My friends and family (as bad as this sounds) are all eagerly awaiting what will happen between the two of us. Of course, they hope it will work and everything goes well, but they see him leaving me behind on weekends and shake their heads. It upsets me and hurts me. I'm not overbearing and I don't want to seem as though I need to be involved in everything he does, so I won't bring it up. He left me alone on the Fourth of July too; which was kind of terrible. I'm at a loss. Some days, honestly, I wish we'd never spoken.

 

When two people are in a relationship, they're supposed to spend time together... weekends together, show each other off to their friends and family and be proud their together.

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