bluesky123 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 So after reading the many threads on NC and LC. Many couples after they break up have some sort of contact, my break was clean we both cried and did not say anything rude to each other. So after one month of no contact, what is my s/o thinking. I have not begged, text, email or phones I just let her be, surely she must be thinking why isn't he trying or is she just living her life peacfully ?
adamt Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 i'm in a similar situation, we just both went into NC naturally. apart from 1 text from her and i returned it. I'm assuming she is moving on and probably just not contacting me so dont get false hope and continue to hurt. I've no plans to contact her. We may bump into each other at somepoint and all i plan to do is say hello and make polite conversation for a minute or so. In the end there is nothing to be gained apart from a world of hurt.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 We can't answer what she is feeling/doing. We don't know her. She could contact you too, though, so I wouldn't be too hard on myself. She has been ignoring you too, so...
Author bluesky123 Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 I'm stuggling with that, most couple have a nasty breakup. We did not best friends I thought everything was fine, obivously not. She must be confident in her decision. I thought by now i'd get a txt, I'm not going to contact her I love her to death but feel as though I did nothing wrong. I dont know how she can go from everyday contact to zip. Ahhhhhh
Exit Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 As long as you feel like you did nothing wrong, you are on the right course. You should not have to beg if she left you for no good reason. There is no way to answer for sure how she feels. She is human too, there are probably things that still remind her of you, etc, but if she is happy with her decision, she isn't looking back. I, on the other hand, messed up in numerous ways, and that's why NC never appealed to me. I wasn't going to sit here with a chip on my shoulder feeling like she should be the one to make contact first, when I know I did things wrong.
adamt Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 More than likely if you ex is female she would have been thinking about dumping you for a while if you havent had a big fall out. The hardest bit was getting the courage to break up. Once that is done then it will be a relief. They will have thought long and hard about deciding on how they feel probably while in the bed next to you. In my case i could see she was having those quiet moments where something is on her mind. But she wouldnt tell me when i asked. it is highly unlikely she will be having2nd thoughts or in a position where she can be talked round.
moo Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I think that NC can be decently done, if both decide or if it is done naturally. In my case, my ex hit me over the hit with it, as I didn't even know we had broken up. After two terrible crying fits today and calling the depression hotline, I decided that I really and truly can NOT initiate any contact at all.
adamt Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 yes dont contact the ex or even reply to any forms of contact until you are emotionally stable and can think straight. it will jsut make everythign worse.
boogieboy Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Dont worry about what shes thinking. It will just prolong your suffering. Be happy she isnt trying to keep you on a string like mine did. Ill tell you what shes thinking, she is probably wondering what she should wear to see the new guy tonight.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Boogie, has he posted ANYTHING at all that suggests that she is with someone new? Or are you just assuming that because that's what happened to you? I'm not saying this in a mean or provocative way. (I know how bad text screws stuff up. When you can't hear intonation, people always assume the worst. I'm asking you in a kind way).
waitingpatiently Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 It really doesn't matter what she's thinking. Good job on the nc. Keep it up. If she has a heart at all, I'm sure she thinks about you from time to time. Once again though, it doesn't matter. Just focus on your well-being and healing.
Author bluesky123 Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 From what she always stated and I must believe, she is not that type of person. However weeks before we were planning events for the summer then one day she fell out of love. It makes me think that she was planning this for some time. Recently before we broke up we started talking about what is the next step since we are both done school now !
waitingpatiently Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I think that NC can be decently done, if both decide or if it is done naturally. In my case, my ex hit me over the hit with it, as I didn't even know we had broken up. After two terrible crying fits today and calling the depression hotline, I decided that I really and truly can NOT initiate any contact at all. Yep, the same thing happened to me. He eventually called though. Do you think I answered? Nope. Nobody like this is worth you or my time. DO NOT try to call him.
boogieboy Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Boogie, has he posted ANYTHING at all that suggests that she is with someone new? Or are you just assuming that because that's what happened to you? I'm not saying this in a mean or provocative way. (I know how bad text screws stuff up. When you can't hear intonation, people always assume the worst. I'm asking you in a kind way). He's in a haze, he doesnt want to think about that...he did the right thing, he isnt trying to find out what shes doing, with NC. Thomas are you going to forever dispute the "monkey vine" trend just because you say you never dumped a woman for another woman? My point was that he shouldnt be thinking about what she is thinking, that kind of looping thoughts will prevent him from sleeping. Bluesky what you should do is write a letter to her, and post it in the "post here instead of writing your ex" thread.
Author bluesky123 Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 I only got one email and her reasons were very vague she almost was leaving an open door. I just need answers.
boogieboy Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I only got one email and her reasons were very vague she almost was leaving an open door. I just need answers. If her reasons are vague, its because she doesnt want you to hate her if she tells you saying "absolutely no". Dont read into it as an open door, shes just tryin to be nice. Its only an open door when she comes to you and says "lets try again".
NopeNah Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I only got one email and her reasons were very vague she almost was leaving an open door. I just need answers. That doesn't mean she's leaving a door open at all. It means she's either trying to be nice to you about it and not harsh....or she wants to keep you on the back burners while she plays the field searching for another, if she hasn't already found him.
Recommended Posts