jtaime Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Hi All, I've been seeing a single dad for about a month now and we've been getting along well so far. He has a formidable career that consumes most of his time, even on weekends. The weekends are spent with his son, doing stuff or working from home, at least being around for junior. And I completely respect that. I am very independent and have a career of my own as well. We communicate everyday via texts as we're both busy during the day and then a short phone call at nite. It is to my understanding that dating a single father is much different than dating a single man. And I am learning.. still learning. It just feels "sore" when our dates are cancelled, mostly due to work, late nite conference calls.. I understand! And I dont want to give ourselves unnecessary pressure and emotional stress. But, dealing with the feeling of "soreness" is a different thing altogether from understanding. How do you deal with this? Any advice would be appreciated very very much!
2sure Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Of course you can understand any parent making their child the first priority in their life. But your guy is different in that his work sounds like it is actually the first priority and ties with his son, or is at least second. This is the way some people's lives are and its fine. So, that leaves you third. Maybe. But its only been a month...see where you end up on the list and if you are ok with being 3rd priority. If you see other things slipping in and putting you further down on the list...re-evaluate.
Author jtaime Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Of course you can understand any parent making their child the first priority in their life. But your guy is different in that his work sounds like it is actually the first priority and ties with his son, or is at least second. This is the way some people's lives are and its fine. So, that leaves you third. Maybe. But its only been a month...see where you end up on the list and if you are ok with being 3rd priority. If you see other things slipping in and putting you further down on the list...re-evaluate. Thank you for the advice..! It's great to know someone's 'listening'. Actually I was feeling a little off last nite coz of a cancelled date, it's not the first and I dont expect it to be the last either.. it can get quite disheartening when I've been looking for it all day. But at the same time, he isnt to be blamed. So I went about some packing last nite, and after that felt much better. Am off to the islands on my own now.. teaching ppl how to dive this weekend! It's just the immediate disappointment that I dont know yet how to handle.
2sure Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Eh - sometimes with my H's job I feel like it and everyone else comes first...especially if he has to cancel ME, which happens. But it doesnt happen consistantly and when we are together, he is completely with me. In the event of a cancellation - he gives me a make up "date" immediately and I have lots to do anyway. Just all part of it with certain people
Author jtaime Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 It does feels like everyone else comes first..! But I try and I try very hard to rein in my runaway thoughts.. I wonder if men ever think like we do? Well, he invited a couple of his newly acquainted friends and I to his office last week, checkout the view as it's in one of the most prominent building here in the city.. the following day I got a text saying "now you can visualise me sitting in the office when I say that..". Went out for drinks with them and he invited some of our friends too.. which was a nice nite out. Couldnt get together since then coz his kid has gotten quite sensitive due to lack of time spent with dad. Now he's abroad for holiday and I'm away for work, so promised we'll get together when we're both back.
Author jtaime Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 I was reading thru the threads of LS, and it seems to me the expectations of dating has changed over time. I realised now after reflecting on myself and past experiences that everything just seems to fast-forwarded. And for a time, I was in similar fast-forwarded relationships. This one for me is different, we go out on dates.. even we've had sexual intimacy, every date that materialises doesnt always end up with us in bed. So I supposed, I have to work on changing my perspective on relationships.. than just kiss, bang & goodbye?
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