Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Anyone else notice this? When you dream about your ex, the next day SUCKS!!! It's horrible. You feel more alone, more intense pain, closer to them, etc... It's the dreams... Today is gonna suck.
New_life Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 yeah, but i don't seem to remember the details just that I had a dream about her. so it wears off in the day, its the night when i wake up at 3 am and know i was dreaming about her
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 Still, the dreams no less. For some reason God cursed me with an innate ability to remember details. (I write, so this is a bad side effect of it). Sigh. I can beat myself up all day when I'm conscious. But dreams? Dreams, I'm starting to blame on God... or the lack of God..
Taucher Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 You are so right. Why do our brains do this to us? I keep on having dreams about her over and over. Some of them I am begging her and some we are back together. Actually, the ones where we are back together are the hardest ones. I think that a lot of dumpers have these dreams too...
indriyani Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I agree completely. Although I didn't dream last night the same thing happens to me frequently. My dreams vary, sometimes they are me begging for forgiveness, asking for him back and him very deliberately (and convincingly, since he would) turning me down and asking me to leave. Others are the opposite, where he'll accept me back or (even more gutting) is even the one asking me back. I find those the most difficult to cope with since I wake up thinking he's going to be next to me. It's physically and emotionally exhausting. I try not to fall asleep thinking about him to avoid this ... but that's next to impossible at this point. Hope your day gets better.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 Yes Taucher you're right, they do... I once heard a psychological theory that the dreams are our brains forcing us to face the most painful things, so that we face the pain and heal. As someone who majored in psychology, though, I don't really agree all that much with this. I rather take an unorthodox approach and blame God, or lack thereof.
indriyani Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I don't know about blaming God, or a lack thereof ... but I know from a past experience that dreams can be healing when you find your ex is no where to be found. Initially when my ex and I broke up, a week after I had a dream that I kissed someone new (faceless, I can't remember the person but the feeling was there). When I woke up there was this immense relief, it was like my dream was saying "This is what it's going to be like when someone finally gives you the kind of love you deserve." That day was truly awakening for me and although I've taken a few giant leaps backward by contacting my ex again, I'm waiting for that kind of awakening to occur again. at this point it seems hopeless, though.
Crow9726 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Dreams...yeah...I have them. While I'm having them...the dreams are all good... After waking up...and having to face real life again...they drag me down even further than I thought it possible to go.
Island Girl Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I think that a lot of dumpers have these dreams too... I have. Unfortunately and completely coincidentally 99% of the time it meant I'd run into them within a couple of weeks. There I am sailing along for years. *Boom* a dream with an ex in it and then lo and behold there that ex is. UGH! Never a pleasant experience.
wontgohomewou Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I don't know. I seem to get over my dreams pretty quickly now. I think it's because I've accepted that I don't want my ex back. I've been talking to girls lately too and they make me happy ... AND I have a couple dates lined up when I return to school:D.. And think of it this way Tom, God is blessing you with GOOD DREAMS. He's letting you feel again in your sleep something that you wouldn't be able to feel consciously. A blessing in disguise my man.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 indryani, it sounds like you go through a lot of the same as me. Where are you from? Always nice to relate with others. (Well, not so nice in this case, actually...) As for wontgohomewou, thats crazy talk. Dreaming of the girl I lost is no blessing in disguise. It's ****ing cancer of the brain, and the next day is absolutely wrenching. I think I'd rather get hit by a semi and lose my memory.
wontgohomewou Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Haha go do something physical dude. You'll feel good about yourself. I don't know why, but I'm like happy most of the time now. I get occasional thoughts of my ex but it's very bearable. Everything is going to be fine, I promise!
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 Ah won'tgohome, I think we'll chill in the fall and that will help.
EmperorR Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Dreams suck and like you thomas I remember everything, it's been 11 months I remember the exact date exact time she told me she cheated on me. I remember the exact date exact time the last time I heard from her. I remember everything. And as for dreaming I hate it, you wake up feeling like crap, and it ruins your whole day.
Taucher Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Well, I think that if you think that dreams of your ex are GOOD THINGS then you are healed...or well on the way to being healed. I agree with Thomas_X_Forever....it's a crippling, horrible thing that makes me wish I didnt ever have to go to sleep. Sometimes the subconcious mind is a complete **** but I guess I am stuck with it.
indriyani Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I'm from Tampa, FL. And yes we are definitely on the same page it seems. wontgohomewou is way ahead of the break up game here, it takes a lot of time to get there and sometimes we resist. I know I'm in a place where I am desperately resisting, like if I do I'm letting go. The thing about letting go is you have to fall, I'm so not ready for the falling part. Today is day one of NC for me, and I'm already thinking of things I'd say to him next. I've got to get stronger. Dreams do not help!!
wontgohomewou Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I'm from Tampa, FL. And yes we are definitely on the same page it seems. wontgohomewou is way ahead of the break up game here, it takes a lot of time to get there and sometimes we resist. I know I'm in a place where I am desperately resisting, like if I do I'm letting go. The thing about letting go is you have to fall, I'm so not ready for the falling part. Today is day one of NC for me, and I'm already thinking of things I'd say to him next. I've got to get stronger. Dreams do not help!! lol DONT EVEN THINK OF SAYING ANYTHING TO HIM!!! The thing about NC is not to think of the other person, it is to think about yourself and how you can be a better person and have fun again. Trust me, after a month of NC things are good. You may hit a rough patch in the middle but that's normal. If you feel like contacting him then just call a close friend and talk to him or her instead. I ALWAYS do this and it ALWAYS helps. I even made a couple new friends this way. You'll be amazed by the amount of people who actually care. Besides, you're very pretty and you should be able to find an even better guy very easily. Also, if you need closure make sure you get it.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 Emporer, you faced something worse than I even did. Well, at least during this break up. I feel your pain. My first ever girlfriend who I truly loved, well, after dating for 13 months, I broke up with her because she was just ripping me apart. Not five days later I find out she is doing stuff with one of our mutual friends. I send a TXT to our mutual friend, and I told him as soon as I see him I'm going to dislocate every joint in his body and paralyze him for life. He knew I was being dead serious too, and got scared to death. He never spoke to her or me again:laugh: Not that I care so much. The fault lied with my ex. She was a horrible person. Taucher, my brother, we'll go through it together. These dreams aren't helping us. There's no optimistic spin we can put on it. We can try, but it's just not real. You aren't facing reality if you think good is coming from it. It's ripping us apart and that's a fact. And finally but not least, Indyani, we should keep in contact and talk. The more company the better, you know what I mean? Talk to each other when we feel down. I'd post my email/website but this site bans you if you do. So if you want, click on my name and go to "Contact". It lists my website. My website lists my myspace/email.
Giha Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Yup, I know what you mean. I've had many dreams about her, us, and her with her bf over the past two months since the break-up. It drives me crazy. I always feel like crap the day after.
mr.dream merchant Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I've had a couple dreams of her. The first one I was chasing her trying to get her to gather herself together and talk to me. She turned into a banshee, bit my hand (her teeth came out when I pulled my hand back) and disapated into thin air. That was the first one, and it happened about a week into our breakup. The worst one, actually happened yesterday. And it was pretty bad. Me, her, and her cousins and sister were all getting ready to go to the club. They all left to go get drinks and get ready. My ex and I stayed back. We cuddled in the living room on her sofa. Man...its hard just thinking about it because it was so vivid, and so surreal. I was caressing her cheek, and looking into her eyes. She was smiling. I could feel her silky hair against my arm, and her smooth skin against my hand. Her eyes were the same beautiful brown ones as they are naturally (she wears blue contacts over them). And her fragrance..I could smell it. It was so real. And I was so happy. The joy was so great that I felt it even in my sleep. Her kisses, I could feel her lips, and taste her lip gloss that she always used to wear. And in the middle of all this, I woke up... My room was that dark gloomy blue (when the morning is coming in). And in an instant the joy went away. And I just felt....empty. I was in pain, but it was numbed out by the emptiness I felt after the absence of that happiness I was just experiencing. It was like going from scorching to freezing in the blink of an eye. Like being dropped right infront of Hell's Gates from Heaven. The whole day I felt like that. Just empty. All I could think of was her looking me in my eyes and being so happy in those 30 seconds of bliss. My heart ached all day but I just couldn't feel anything. I felt dead inside. I guess it was depression. Not even all the females I'm talking to now, or all my friends and family I spend way more time with now could help me get out of that hole. It was hell. That depression yesterday was so bad I was afraid to go to bed. I thought I was doing good but the blissful dreams of her are nothing more than haunting thoughts. And its pretty scary.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 Yeah, I feel that. Big time. That's nasty, scary, and very familiar to me. God, God does it suck... I hate it so much. I was cleaning my car today, and I found a packet of pictures... I pulled one out of the sleeve from curiosity and it was a picture of her. I hadn't seen her face in months. It killed me. **** God.
bluesky123 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 The other night I had the most vivid dream, we were hanging out just like we use to do. It was sureal, everything was just perpect. Then I woke back up to reality, I did not feel sad it felt like we were hangig out , i must be going nuts !
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 i called my ex last nite to tell her i dreamt about her we were in the park and i proposed to her she said it was sooo sweet but i know it was foolish to call her need more self-control.
traxN90s Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I know what you go through man. I've had these dreams where I'm with my ex and she tells me that we'll always be together. It's not very easy at all. I wake up after dreaming those dreams and feel reality checking me. It's crazy because in the dream it feels real and it's pretty much the reality you're in while it's happening. For the few weeks after breaking up with my ex I had these dreams almost everynight.
Taucher Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Taucher, my brother, we'll go through it together. These dreams aren't helping us. There's no optimistic spin we can put on it. We can try, but it's just not real. You aren't facing reality if you think good is coming from it. It's ripping us apart and that's a fact. Thanks man. It is currently 1:18 am (UK time) and I have work tomorrow and I am not going to sleep until I have to. No, there is nothing good about it. In fact, these dreams are the worst thing going on for me right now. I mean, I think about her during the day and I can just about cope with that cos I am aware and know the deal. But when I dream it, I feel it. I live it. When I wake, I remember the feeling that it was real, that I really believed that we were still together. And it reminds me of what has been lost. I am sorry you are going through this and I wouldnt wish it on anyone but it is good that other people have this. We ARE normal. T
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