sparkey64 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Ive known this woman for 15 years or so (she is a family friend). I was married and am now separated. I touched base with her on facebook. And we have been chatting quite a bit. I know her pattern. She is 40 never married but has a kid. She tends to date guys for 6 months or so then dump them. She has no sexual hangups and will chat about sex if it goes that way. Mostly in general terms. at least I never went beyond that. She invited me to a party about 3 months ago (she had just split with her bf) and he showed up when I got there... so we go as a threesome. it was kind of wierd and I took off shortly after the party. And I told her it was. A month later, she invites me to another party and we have a riot, and she tells me to stay over (I live in a town about 40 miles away). So I stay over and sleep in another bed. (Im not sure if im in friends zone or not, I suspect it but not sure). While Im at the party, she invites me over to sit with her but I don't. And I leave to take a leak - we are in a garage... and I over hear her talking about me to her friend. Im funny etc... yadda yadda. She is attractive and some dude is chatting her down. And later she tells me she was attracted to that guy. Tho not her type... A month later, she request to come over to my moms place (they havent seen each other for 5 years) I play catch with her kid while they visit. It was kind of wierd. Her kid likes me at least. awhile earlier, we decided to go to a concert together... which was last saturday night. We got pretty drunk... and I had been out the night before as well and had been working outside all day. So I was pretty bagged... At the concert I took her right up to the stage and she was right into it. So I make my move, I put my arm around her waist and started kind of dancing?? with her. It went ok for a bit, then she said "you are crowding me". So I kind of took that as rejection, and went and talked to some people who were just back from us. after the concert, I dropped her at her place and took off. Its been a bit distant for me this week. Did I drop the ball or was I spot on and "you are crowding me" meant NO? Am I being overly sensitive? The following monday, she did tell me the next time I take her out, I was staying over and not driving. Which was admittedly immature and stupid, given the state I was in. But she hasn't been as warm and inviting to me since. I can sense it. So am I in the friends zone? she has talked to me about other guys and stuff... and ive recently told her I don't want to hear the details. What next?
lilly83 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 From what you say I think that you are in the friends zone and it will never be anything else. I think that she was saying no and she did not want to come across as rude or anything so she said it in that matter. I think that she does have feelings for you and the reason that she has not seemed so welcoming is because she feels akward and does not want to give you the wrong idea/get your hopes up. I feel that she is scared of ruining or loosing your friendship and she thinks that if you have a relationship she knows it will not work out as she does not seem interested in long term things and she knows if things dont work out then she would loose you complety as things would never be the same and you would never get that friendship back again. I think the best thing to do for now is give her some space and cool things down for a week or so then get in contact with her again and just spend time together as friends.
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