thebigrabbit14 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Okay this will be long. We dated for almost 3 years, would have been this october. In the end of may she tells me she doesnt think she is the right person for me. We have not much in common but we get along great. The last 3 months of the relationship we didnt hang out much just on saturday and we would go out to eat have sex and watch a movie after. She goes its not me but she feels horrible the way she treats me when she would get mad over small things and then she would feel horrible for doing it. And how shes so messed up?? She just needed time away and she wanted me to go live my life. She felt as if she was holding me back in life. Im out of highschool and she is going to be a senior. Anyway the whole month of june pretty much i was texting her trying to tell her to work out and think about it. Then i was just getting drunk pretty much. 2 weeks ago she came over and we hung out for a bit and she said if i had kept myself in better shape she would have thought about it. she doesnt know in the future if bad stuff happens how i would take it and she keeps saying she is holding me back. Anyway i figured i couldnt win on talking to her about going back out so i agreed to be friends. We hung out on the 4th all day and it was pretty good, not much contact we just layed together watching them on a dock. I asked her today to hang out with me this saturday but she goes im busy all weekend and probally all week. Last night i texted her telling her how i feel about her but that didnt do much . I asked her again if she even gave any thought about what i said last night or anything i said last month. And she said she always thinks about my feelings but it never ends up good? then i asked why and she said idk bed. i know she has track in the morning so obviously she needs sleep. i told her to text me tomorrow and sry for waking her up. i really want her back but i know that its pretty much pointless if she doesnt want to, should i wait for her reply? or text her tomorrow night if i dont get anything? what else can i do? i tried moving on meeting other people but i dont care about them, i dont even want to kiss them. i just want to go home and be alone and count down the days till i see her again. i need help
NopeNah Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 This is going to be hard...BUT, even if she responds to your text in the morning... Don't respond! If you do..keep it to a 1-2 word answer and thats it:OK,COOL,TAKE CARE,ECT.. You have to cut your contact with her. She broke up with you and you pursuing her every day is only going to push her further away. "How can I miss you if you won't go away", is what it comes down to. Also, you are both still very young and have a whole life ahead of you. Know this will probaly not be the last time this happens to you, and how you handle it now will prepare you for future relationships.
Island Girl Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 In the end of may she tells me she doesnt think she is the right person for me. If anyone ever tells you they need to think about being with you, they are unsure of you as a match, or they don't think you are right together you need to say, "I completely respect that you feel that way. We've had some really good times." AND THEN YOU GO NC. You assume and act as if it is completely over right then. Don't ever EVER try to give a list of why you are good enough or why you should stay together. And it doesn't matter how much you care, etc. The other person is saying that they need to think about or do not believe that you are good enough - that there may be someone better. And you HAVE to know for yourself that there IS no one better. You are the BEST. If they don't get that it is THEIR problem. This does one of two things. 1. All of sudden with you not being anywhere around and them having no access to what they DID love about you -- they'll have a change of heart and come back. 2. You will suddenly be absent from their lives and they won't care which means it was so far gone NOTHING you could do to save it or reignite the spark. So - SEE - either way it is best to know what you can know immediately and make your decisions accordingly. You have to cut your contact with her. She broke up with you and you pursuing her every day is only going to push her further away. "How can I miss you if you won't go away", is what it comes down to. The above is absolutely true. And thebigrabbit14, I get the feeling that you sacrificed everything in yourself for her. You cared so much you became a doormat. She lost all respect for you and you let her treat you so badly at times that you didn't even respect yourself. I don't care what she is going through or what emotional trauma she is having (and this means ANY girl). You do not just put up with being treated like crap. You stand up for yourself. If you proceed in becoming a doormat in relationships then you should expect to get walked all over - really thrashed along the way -- and then tossed out. That is what happens to doormats.
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 It is hard ive been trying to just not contact her for a week, shes gonna be busy all weekend so i wont even bother. When we where breaking up she kepts telling me please dont disappear and crap. I told her before i dont want to be friends with you i only want to go out with you. So whatever if she texts me today that will be the last time i respond if i do.
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 I talked to her for a little bit today, she said she cant do it anymore so i said you dont want to it seems. She said why cant we be friends i said i dont want to be friends with somebody i dated. She said ill see you next week and i always think about what you say but idk if ill ever say yes. So im not gonna bother texting her at all. If she wants to see me and work something out she can contact me but she knows that im only going to hang out with her if she wants to get back together if not then she can leave me alone.
NopeNah Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Then there you have it.. "she can't do it anymore". That's all you needed to hear. Trust me when I say this... You have to go strict NC or it's just gonna stay fresh on your mind with all the what if's,maybe's..pretty much any false hope you can think up, you'll latch on to. That's not good for you! You CAN'T be friends with someone you have strong romantic feelings for after a breakup. It just can't happen! Sorry you're having to deal with this...stay strong for yourself! Don't leave her with the memory of you being a weak person. So..don't beg,plead,ect.. goodluck!
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 its always on my mind even if i dont contact her, if she contacts me to hang out should i go? she def knows i only want to get back together with her so if she does contact me it will have to be something good?
NopeNah Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 its always on my mind even if i dont contact her, if she contacts me to hang out should i go? she def knows i only want to get back together with her so if she does contact me it will have to be something good? No you should not go! She's being selfish by contacting you in the first place. All it does when you hang out with her, Is releave her own guilt/stress of the breakup. In essence, you hanging out with her right now makes it easier to get over you. Do you want that?
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 I havent talked to her in over a day or whatever but i log onto facebook and she never posts songs on her facebook, i mean never she deletes them if anyone else posts them or any links anyway theres a song on there You do so typical I took you for original Like all other ones Like every other hit and run How does your Hollywood Acting like royalty would Come and pack em in You pack em in yeah yeah Stop and rewind Now I know what im leaving behind And you'll always be the next in line Make a scene Make a scream Like your loosing your mind And you'll always be the next in line She likes the sound of it I think there's something wrong with it I told you what you need I told you everything Stop and rewind Now I know what I'm leaving behind And you'll always be the next in line Make a scene Make a scream Like your loosing your mind And you'll always be the next in line Now you know your the one that I'm leaving behind And you'll always be the next in line Make a scene Make a scream Like your loosing your mind And you'll always be the next in line Mean what you say kid Before you waste it Slam on your breaks now Before the breakdown
society Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Never heard that song, what is it? My ex and I did the MySpace song thing for a while after our breakup. If you really want this girl back, you MUST act fast. Time is of the essence. Step 1: Agree with the breakup. For the next steps, check out my signature for some excellent advice.
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 11, 2009 Author Posted July 11, 2009 nice another ad to buy something anyway she contacted me via facebook this afternoon i havent texted her or anything in days cause i got tired of it my phone is busted. but I'm hanging out with you next week, so don't be all sad. ok.
NopeNah Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 my phone is busted. but I'm hanging out with you next week, so don't be all sad. ok. Again...she's selfish as hell! Don't be all sad because she's going to give you some scraps next week? That's funny! Cut contact and don't meet her.
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 11, 2009 Author Posted July 11, 2009 Again...she's selfish as hell! Don't be all sad because she's going to give you some scraps next week? That's funny! Cut contact and don't meet her. yea im still not talking to her at all if she does im gonna tell her i dont want to be friends
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 well this may be wrong but i just told her if she doesnt want to consider me or anything ive said to her the past month or any of my feelings then i want everything i gave her back which ive spent a good amount on. im not gonan sell it or anything prob just toss it over a bridge except the rabbit which name is blossom. i want her back she said i could ahve everything else but her dad loves her. i told her i cant consider anything for blossom because you cant consider any feelings or anything i say. i said ill hang out with you if you want to work things out but if you just want to be friends then forget about it. i told her i wont be home tomorrow and i want blossom back some point sunday which it is sunday now. so no response from her on facebook so who knows maybe she went to sleep crying or something, i feel bad doing this to her cause shes a great person but being dumped after u invested so much time and money into someone and ****ing did everything for them, its like WHAT THE ****? i even bailed her out of so many jams before its unbeliavable im always there, always treated her nice well until right now. i know it is wrong to ask for things back but hey im getting the ****ing runaround here and im not going down as the tough guy that ****ing sat a whole month trying to get her back and spilling out i love u and feeling ****. i dont enjoy telling ppl my feelings. so she can go **** off
Island Girl Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 You asked for everything you have her back? That is small and petty. It is also extremely immature. You want it back just so you can throw it over a bridge? No. You want it back because you want to take things away from her. You want her to feel loss or pain and this is the only way you can do that. Again it is IMMATURE, PETTY, and you do not have a leg to stand on. You gave her these things. They are hers. You gave her the rabbit. The rabbit is hers. There is nothing you can do and if you tried to take her to court, you'd lose. These were not conditional gifts accompanied with a statement "you can use these as long as we remain a couple"! You gave her gifts to have. They are her possessions now. Including the rabbit. Yes it was the wrong thing to do. Now you look vindictive, immature, and petty. Just leave it all alone. Leave her alone. You simply HAVE to move on. You have no other choice.
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 yup they are hers but what can u do?
Island Girl Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 yup they are hers but what can u do? Nothing. All of that stuff is hers. End of story. End of that story. Now you have to set about starting a new chapter and it won't include her --- or any of that stuff.
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 whatever we'll see what happens tomorrow
Island Girl Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 whatever we'll see what happens tomorrow I'm telling you that you should drop it. You can't take back what has already been done but you CAN make a different decision for tomorrow. Don't look pathetic or make these ridiculous ultimatums. I am telling you right now you are going to look back on with regret. Don't make it worse than it already is.
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 what am i supposed to do be her friends, i hung out with her last week and it just made me sad, i believe she also lied taht her phone is busted, it goes to voicemail but how is she updating facebook and twitter from a mobile device if her phone is broken? she doesnt have anything else other then a laptop and her itouch, shes not replying to my last 2 messages anyways
Island Girl Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 what am i supposed to do be her friends, i hung out with her last week and it just made me sad, i believe she also lied taht her phone is busted, it goes to voicemail but how is she updating facebook and twitter from a mobile device if her phone is broken? she doesnt have anything else other then a laptop and her itouch, shes not replying to my last 2 messages anyways No, you shouldn't be friends with her. You shouldn't talk to her anymore. You should accept the fact that it is over. And yes that hurts but you will get over it and find someone else. Don't send any more messages. Don't call her. Just accept that this is all over with and move on. Believe me if you don't do all of this now and you remain in contact you will eventually (after even more heartache and pain) get to the point where you will have to do all of what I am saying. So just cut to the chase and do it now. And don't look at her FB page or Myspace etc. anymore either. Block her.
NopeNah Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 My ex left me while she owed me $12k. Would i like it back...sure! Did I ask for it?...nope! An expensive lesson learned is what it's been written off as.
NopeNah Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Living together for 2.5 years car payments, her part of rent/bills on ocasion,ect... Oh yea.. I was a dumbass!
Author thebigrabbit14 Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 wow well mine just messaged me and goes i'm sad that you can't just be friends with me. obviously i care about you and everything, but i personally can't do any more relationship stuff until i figure out what i need to do with myself... on my own. so if i go home and the bunny is home i guess ill return her after i get her fixed, i dont want to loose her but i cant just be her friend? should i just show her how great of a person i am by hanging out with her and maybe she'll change her mind
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