Author Athena Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 coming out of your post. Joy about truly understanding why so many years have gone by and nothing had changed until now... until you decided you had to make changes to make your life better. It feels good to feel good about where your life is heading. Athena, we are all very proud of you! I hope this new found you with so much happiness continues to do things and enjoy being "you"!!!! Peace, hope and brightness! hey there lostsoulmate, thank you!!!!! Yes, I realized that part of what was keeping me in this loop of madness was that I kept on reacting to H's behavior in the SAME way, each time! So now I quit doing that... this time I STOPPED the great sex with him, I stopped analyzing his actions to death, and I eventually stopped berating him... so this led to a Different scenario -- one of a sense of release/relief. This time I didn't allow him to seduce me back into his bed/problems/craziness, instead I opened up some opportunities (time, energy, mental thoughts) for my own improvement, and I am happier for doing that. I have to accept that H is like he is. Before I didn't understand how set he was in his ways, partly because I hoped he would be able to change, and partly because he always promised me he would. Now I know he simply is who he is, and that includes his crazy-making infidelity behaviors. I extricate myself from the damaging consequences of that part of him, as far as possible. It's true that I miss having an intimate relationship, but I am glad to have 'myself' back in that I can truly focus on my own needs instead of always having him foremost in my thoughts.
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