BlueHarvest Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 So I've been feeling a little depressed lately due to my relationship with another girl fizzling out. But I'm also happy about getting a really good job that I'll be starting next week....which brings me to my next point. As I'm starting a new job I'll still be hanging out with friends I made at my old job. Unfortunately my new job is not nearly as social (I'll be in a cubicle) as my old job (Customer Service/Retail). So it got me thinking about this girl whom I've been hanging out with for a long time. Nearly 3 years. We started off as acquaintances. She got divorced from her husband right when I was starting my job at this place. About a couple months later she got into a relationship with another woman. Yes, she turned to the other team so to speak. So anyways she broke up with this girl 2 months ago. We've been hanging out for the past 3 years on occasion (seeing movies, hanging out, going out for drinks) but we have been hanging out alot more over the past 6 months. She always says things when we are together like "You are so well versed" or "You have such a diverse knowledge about <blank>" (edited for personal reasons) To clarify..she seems to enjoy hanging out with me, and she says as much. The thing is I never looked at her as a potential dating interest until I realized that unlike the girl I *was* dating a few months ago, I felt completely comfortable around her. I feel like I can talk to her and hang out with her and just relax and be myself. The problem is...I had gone to her for advice about my past relationship. And I feel that me going to her for advice might make her think me weak (as a male). And of course the other problem is if she is still interested in men. Obviously she was at one point but then she went lesbian. I think she did it just because of what he said to her when they got divorced (he said something along the lines of calling her "a frigid bitch whom noone would ever want to have kids with." It's just that with leaving my job soon, I felt the oppurtunity was there to ask her out. I dont like dating people I work with as it can lead to some issues down the road so now that I have that blockade being taken down soon I figured now is the time to make the move. Any tips? Edit: Sorry if the flow of thoughts wasn't completely cohesive. I kind of just let my my thoughts flow when I type.
Author BlueHarvest Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 Yeesh, already thrown onto page 2 of the forums? *shameless bump*
Author BlueHarvest Posted July 11, 2009 Author Posted July 11, 2009 Anyone? I hate to do this but I really could use at least a tidbit of advice on this.
Thaddeus Posted July 11, 2009 Posted July 11, 2009 Take the proverbial bull by the horns, my friend. Next time you do a coffee or lunch date, give her a kiss. Not one of those drooling, open-mouthed, tongue-slobbering, Niagara-of-saliva kisses, just a gentle peck. On the lips. Her response will tell you volumes.
WhyMe1980 Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 Solid advice from Thaddeus. It will all be in the reaction. If she is not into you at all you will know it instantly with no real harm done to the friendship. Talking about your feelings/failings in a past relationship shouldn't be a sign of weakness IMHO to this new interest. Take the proverbial bull by the horns, my friend. Next time you do a coffee or lunch date, give her a kiss. Not one of those drooling, open-mouthed, tongue-slobbering, Niagara-of-saliva kisses, just a gentle peck. On the lips. Her response will tell you volumes.
Author BlueHarvest Posted July 12, 2009 Author Posted July 12, 2009 So your saying, next time we hang out to give her a kiss...despite the fact that we have NEVER done anything before hand? Not even had an "offical" date. All of the times I hung out with her in the past she was in her previous relationship (with her girlfriend) and she still lives with this girl (but they are broken up, they have to live together cause of the lease). I dunno. Seems like I have ALOT to lose if she didn't want that. Like her friendship.
kizik Posted July 12, 2009 Posted July 12, 2009 I think the kiss is a bit much. Instead, reach for her hand, smiling, and gauge her reaction. You're much more likely to get to the kiss if you start with some touching. You'll be showing your interest, and if she rejects your hand, it'll be much less painful than if she rejects your kiss.
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