westernxer Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Found out a girl I was with awhile back is now engaged. Saw it on a blog, pictures too (thanks to the good people out there who publish too much information). She was the reason I joined here in the first place, mostly so I could work off some steam. We'd already broken up months earlier, but the effects still lingered after the wounds reopened, and I needed answers that never came. With time I realized I didn't care about the answers, and that was that. We never spoke again. Now this... He looks like a nice guy. She looks happy, better than ever, and I'll admit that my heart skipped a beat in that split second I looked at her, but deep down I know that smile, and I know she hasn't changed. Perhaps it's a smile that works for him, and I wish them all the best. Bottom line: She's not the first ex to marry someone else, and she probably won't be the last. LOL
Thomas X Forever Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I don't have that same strength as you. I would be devastated if any ex was engaged.
Art_Critic Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Theres good therapy in finally placing the past when we finally reconcile it in our heads.. It seems like that just happened to you..
Exit Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 A girl that broke my heart a few years back is engaged and I couldn't care less. Guess I successfully healed over that one.
NopeNah Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I honestly expect my ex to be engaged by the end of the year. She was trying to get me to marry her for the past 2.5 years and I'm not a beleiver of maraige any longer after my divorce. She just wants "that special day". I almost feel sorry for whoever it ends up being.
Author westernxer Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 I don't have that same strength as you. I would be devastated if any ex was engaged. You go through it once, then you're like, oh well, what the hell. LOL Theres good therapy in finally placing the past when we finally reconcile it in our heads.. It seems like that just happened to you.. It was probably the most intense relationship I ever had with someone. Seeing the picture brought back emotions I thought were long buried. When we were an item I thought she could be that one and only, but I kept my mouth shut. The experience taught me a lot, and I learned that my emotions are more stable when it comes to relationships, even though living through those sour moments still suck. I should stay away from those blogs. Guess I got what I deserved. LOL
Exit Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I almost feel sorry for whoever it ends up being. It's true. That girl I just mentioned above, an ex who is engaged, guess what, she's feeling trapped and unhappy and is thinking about breaking this guy's heart. Glad it's not me.
tigressA Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I found out the other day that my first boyfriend/first love, who I dated 3 years ago, is getting married in less than a month. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 2 years and have no idea who his bride-to-be is, but I was still a bit thrown. I still think of him as a coward because of how our relationship ended--I had to end it because I knew he would draw it out in favor of "not hurting me" (when of course letting it go on would've made it hurt even more); for a good long while I felt my heart was broken beyond repair. But I'm happy that he finally is getting what he's always wanted. I knew that he wanted to marry young and start a family; he practiced abstinence until marriage for religious reasons, which was one of many differences between us.
alphamale Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 He looks like a nice guy. She looks happy, rest assured my friend westernexer that looks can be deceiving. chances are good that after they get married they'll start to hate each other and get divorced (like 60% of married couples). just think of it as if you've dodged a bullet
Author westernxer Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 rest assured my friend westernexer that looks can be deceiving. chances are good that after they get married they'll start to hate each other and get divorced (like 60% of married couples). just think of it as if you've dodged a bullet You said what I was trying not to say, but I certainly did dodge a bullet. It makes me shudder thinking back on it. LOL
CaliGuy Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Same here dude. I've been the runner up a couple times in a row now. All I can say is "THANK THE LORD" I didn't marry either of them. I wouldn't be on LS. I'd be in a mental institution.
laRubiaBonita Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 westernxer- i always like to think that i have influenced X's in a positive way (you know cause i am a pretty awesome person).... and therefore i am the reason that they are palatable to others
e.clipse Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 aww, i'm sorry it stirred you up, in only a bit. but i think your reaction was not a "normal" one, rather, it was a "good" one. i think that after spending precious moments with someone, and loving them, learning that they are now engaged/married to someone else will pull at the heart strings; it's normal, you know? but that you are able to keep on dishing out those LOLs like it's nobody's business, well, that says a lot...not only about where you stand now, but who you are as a person. hugs to you, wes. you're too cute.
Adunaphel Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 It is great that you can wish them all the best (and kudos for doing that instead of being bitter like so many people are about exes)- I think it's a very clear sign that you truly moved on, and realized you were not the right person for each other. Yet...you sound quite stirred up. I hope you are okay, apart from the shock of the news.
Trialbyfire Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I don't know your background westernxer, but if this provided you with the finality you once craved, it's for the better. I don't know if anyone else feels this way but when I see an ex I'm not over, flirting or involved with someone else, it's a turn-off instead of a trigger for pain or a self-esteem hit. I think I'm backwards.
Author westernxer Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Great comments, everyone. Thanks a wazzillion. Yesterday's discovery triggered a wave of introspection... I didn't tell anyone else since it's ancient history as far as they're concerned, so I told you guys instead. It's water under the bridge now. You may now return to your Michael Jackson tabloids. LOL
reservoirdog1 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 In my case, XW and I separated in late 2003 after revelations about her serial betrayal. About two months ago, she remarried. And I didn't really give a damn. My thoughts were limited to the cynical ones: "good luck with it, hope you don't screw the pooch (or anything else) with this marriage like you did with ours, etc." I know that if she'd remarried 2-3 years earlier, I'd have been pretty messed up about it. It's good to have moved on at last.
Recommended Posts