kizik Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 You can't sit at home with your cats every evening and wonder why captain amazing hasn't shown up. :lmao: UF, I think we're gonna be good friends.
Isolde Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 It is a numbers game. You can't sit at home with your cats every evening and wonder why captain amazing hasn't shown up. I was actually responding to tanbark's assertion that if your'e single, you have one of the "three things" wrong.
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 You're right Isolde. I don't understand why it's so difficult for some women, because it's not. A reasonably attractive woman with half a brain, can find a reasonably attractive man with half a brain. From the way people have portrayed themselves on LS, there's no excuse for why some of them aren't in a relationship, beyond the three things that Tanbark listed and internal, negative demons. Exactly right. Isolde, you're failing to remember that part. And FWIW, being hot and smart never presented any challenges for me whatsoever. It was everything else that did.
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I was actually responding to tanbark's assertion that if your'e single, you have one of the "three things" wrong. Re-read what he said. He didn't say if you're single you have these three things wrong. He said if you're saying that "all the good ones are taken," you're saying it because you have one of these three things, or a combination thereof, wrong.
kizik Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Shadow and Isolde, you seem to have the same problem. You're shy, smart girls, but you aren't meeting men. Why is meeting men important to you? What do you do to meet men? As I've said before, it's a woman's job to be receptive, and I get the feeling you're not noticing the signs of interest, and certainly not giving any flirty-vibes, either. Until you're willing to take the risk of revealing yourself a bit (which isn't a risk at all, considering 9 times out of 10, you'll never see these guys again), you aren't going to meet anyone. I think you're both cute and I'm not a loser. Unless you ask that SamSpade guy, who seems to have my number. If I saw you in a coffeeshop, I'd smile, but I wouldn't go up and talk to you UNLESS you smiled back. So smile back and relax. You only get one life and it's exciting.
Ariadne Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Exactly right. Isolde, you're failing to remember that part. And FWIW, being hot and smart never presented any challenges for me whatsoever. It was everything else that did. Nah... Some girls just fall in love very easily. On day they are heartbroken, the next day they are in love. For me is practically impossible to fall in love. I don't know why it is so hard.
burning 4 revenge Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 He might get a sense of her personality through her body language or her facial expressions though. Someone who isn't generally considered to be conventionally attractive might nonetheless have a very expressive face that will trigger an emotional response in the right person. stop filling young girls heads with lies
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I was actually responding to tanbark's assertion that if your'e single, you have one of the "three things" wrong. I think the biggest thing wrong with your dating life is the fact that you think something is wrong with it. The more you think all the decent guys over 25 are taken... the less you will be able to see the ones who are not.
Isolde Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 When I give off flirty vibes, I think guys perceive me as "weird" or "intense." I can't win.
Ariadne Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Shadow and Isolde...I get the feeling you're not noticing the signs of interest, and certainly not giving any flirty-vibes, either. Shadow wrote a whole list of all the guys that she knows now. All the available ones she is not interested in, so why would she flirt with them? The other ones are taken, that's the topic of this thread.
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Some girls just fall in love very easily. I'm not talking about the women, I'm talking about the guys falling in love with the women. Saying, "I'm too smart and pretty for guys to be interested in/approach/date me" is a just... silly. It's an excuse. There's something else going on. Could be that you're just not putting yourself out there. Could be that you're shy, or have weird body language. Could be a number of things. But guys LIKE attractive, smart women. To say otherwise is just plain silly.
Sam Spade Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I couldn't read the entire 12 pages, but this is common sense and applies to men and women. The hotter/whatever a person is, the greater the odds of being unavailable. I'm 32, quite hot (true story:D), highly educated, solid job etc. and for the last 7 years I've been single for just over 3 months, and that *only* because of the stupidity of my ex gf . In other words, this matches your math - was "taken" at 25. But, it works the other way around too. I can't say that I'm thrilled with the choice of available women in my age range , although I consider myself luckywith my gf . Finally, where you live has huge impace on your options. I live in medium-sied, family oriented southern city . The odds of meeting the type of women I really like are virtually non-existent. But, i don't care. I'm quite adaptable and thus equally happy, if not happier with my traditional southern belle/midwestern small town mix girl .
Citizen Erased Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Shadow wrote a whole list of all the guys that she knows now. All the available ones she is not interested in, so why would she flirt with them? The other ones are taken, that's the topic of this thread. But now it's not about the ones she knows. It's about the ones that she puts off by being not open and friendly. Seriously, just smiling at a guy is an open invitation for them to approach you. If they think you're approachable, they will come over to you. If they think you're not, they won't bother. No-one likes to be rejected and, I could be talking out of my arse here, but cold women make guys not want to bother. And if you don't smile, make at least eye contact etc it makes people look cold. I have plenty of female friends that are just as gorgeous as Shadow and they always have guys approach them. Because they come across as friendly. Being hot and no-one wants to approach cos they are put off by my hotness, it's not an excuse. Being shy on the other hand is. Shadow can work on that, and she should. She's one of those that are an incredibly good catch.
Sam Spade Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 When I give off flirty vibes, I think guys perceive me as "weird" or "intense." I can't win. If I happen to be around, you'll win big time . Grumpy, weird, and dark is totally my thing .
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Shadow and Isolde, you seem to have the same problem. You're shy, smart girls, but you aren't meeting men. Why is meeting men important to you? What do you do to meet men? As I've said before, it's a woman's job to be receptive, and I get the feeling you're not noticing the signs of interest, and certainly not giving any flirty-vibes, either. Until you're willing to take the risk of revealing yourself a bit (which isn't a risk at all, considering 9 times out of 10, you'll never see these guys again), you aren't going to meet anyone. I think you're both cute and I'm not a loser. Unless you ask that SamSpade guy, who seems to have my number. If I saw you in a coffeeshop, I'd smile, but I wouldn't go up and talk to you UNLESS you smiled back. So smile back and relax. You only get one life and it's exciting. I totally agree! I think we will be friends. There are some other traits that I would guess they both share. I would bet they tend to be hyper critical of themselves and potential dates, in addition a tendency towards contrariness.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 When I give off flirty vibes, I think guys perceive me as "weird" or "intense." I can't win. Some will actually find that attractive. I'm telling you... get rid of your cats and start doing things. Go out meet guys, and be open. It's all about %'s
kizik Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I think they're very sweet, they're just afraid to take risks. But in reality, it's not even a risk to flirt back. Much harder for the guy, to make that first move. Better to engage in conversation than to be reserved or close-mouthed.
Ariadne Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Could be a number of things. But guys LIKE attractive, smart women. To say otherwise is just plain silly. Yes. She said that smart and pretty women are single longer and have a harder time. Not exactly because guys are not interested in them (they are) but the other way around.
Ariadne Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 But now it's not about the ones she knows. It's about the ones that she puts off by being not open and friendly. Seriously, just smiling at a guy is an open invitation for them to approach you. Yeah, maybe Shadow should start flirting like that with the guys in the grocery store or some. Like total strangers. Maybe she'll get lucky that way and find a guy that fits her criteria.
kizik Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Originally Posted by Citizen Erased But now it's not about the ones she knows. It's about the ones that she puts off by being not open and friendly. Seriously, just smiling at a guy is an open invitation for them to approach you. This is exactly what I've been trying to say. Girls complain if you talk to them, or if you don't. @Ariadne: Why so angry?
Citizen Erased Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Yeah, maybe Shadow should start flirting like that with the guys in the grocery store or some. Like total strangers. Maybe she'll get lucky that way and find a guy that fits her criteria. I don't count that as flirting, I count it as being friendly. Flirting is for after they approach you. And who knows, the guy that bags her groceries could be the man of her dreams. This is exactly what I've been trying to say. Girls complain if you talk to them, or if you don't. Yep. No pleasing us I guess.
Ariadne Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 @Ariadne: Why so angry? Not really. I was saying that Shadow wrote a list of all the guys she knows. So now the only thing left would be to flirt with total strangers from the street, and maybe she'll find a guy she likes. Probabilities close to zero if you ask me, but maybe she'll find an available guy there that fits her criteria.
BobSacamento Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I can't believe there are people here saying that dating is harder for guys.
Cora Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 How do you distinguish between a friendly smile and actual interest? For instance, I'm not sure whether to flirt back if I don't even know if the guy is flirting with me. He could just be making friendly chit chat with me and I'd rather not make a complete fool of myself by giving off signals that I'm interested. Ughh I'm definitely not a risk taker. This is a very interesting thread though.
kizik Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Assume he's flirting with you. Adopt this attitude: why wouldn't he be? You're cute, he's cute, you're both flirting.
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