donnamaybe Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Well, my honey and I found each other when he was 57, and he is quite attractive. I find it amazing that someone who would go to the lengths of driving uninvited to some guy's house in another state WHO IS OVER 40 would say that all single guys over 40 have something wrong with them. You just can't make a blanket statement like that. It's ridiculous to do so.
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Just the other day you were saying you were only attracted to men 18-23 or something and you go on and on about the looks of models and celebrities hyper-analyzing every nuance conceivable No, I said 19-23 is my ideal, but I'm willing to date anyone under thirty (or even a bit over if they look young). I think that's pretty reasonable given my age. While I may have crushes on hot celebrities here and there, when it comes to real life my standards aren't very high.
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 And the reason I'd date you is because, despite your insecurities, you sound very intelligent and down to earth. Providing you aren't obese, I'd def. ask you out. So there. Theory disproved.
You'reasian Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I'm 5'1" - 319 lbs of gorgeous man meat, can't cook (or clean) and am badly out of shape (checking the mail is a struggle), I speak english and really bad english, but really bad english most of the time - add to it, I love watching Lord of the Ring series.... anyone wanna date me?
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 And the reason I'd date you is because, despite your insecurities, you sound very intelligent and down to earth. Providing you aren't obese, I'd def. ask you out. So there. Theory disproved. aw, that's sweet. Based on your personality I'd probably say yes. You'd probably assume I was unapproachable in real life, though, because I come off that way to a lot of men. Next time you see a girl who seems like that, ask her out and you might be surprised.
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 But you have to understand, guys simply don't ask girls out who are unapproachable. It's like seeing a wedding ring. A girl who doesn't make eye contact or smile is useless to us; we assume she's taken, bitter, lesbian, etc. How are we to know you're open and available w/o a subtle clue, like a quick smile?
Kamille Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 You'd probably assume I was unapproachable in real life, though, because I come off that way to a lot of men. uh... Bingo!? Might this explain the scarcity of quality men? I haven't read the whole thread but I feel I can answer the thread question: No, it isn't true that most attractive men over 25 are taken. There are yummy men all over the place. Hey, You'reasian, how ya doing?
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 No, it isn't true that most attractive men over 25 are taken. There are yummy men all over the place. :love::love::love::love::love:
You'reasian Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 uh... Bingo!? Might this explain the scarcity of quality men? I haven't read the whole thread but I feel I can answer the thread question: No, it isn't true that most attractive men over 25 are taken. There are yummy men all over the place. Hey, You'reasian, how ya doing? I'm fine, Kamille. but otherwise my usual boring, dull, lazy, outta shape dim, dances with two-left foot, 2 pump-chump self. Can you help me find a date?
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Shadow - while this thread began being about men, I agree with Tanbark that it's really about you. You will not meet any guys until you learn to open up a bit. You say you clam up in conversation, or don't say a whole lot. I take that as a big, "F*ck off." You have to get over the shyness if you want to meet someone. I'm doing this, too - getting out of my comfort zone, asking for numbers, just getting out there. It can be scary as hell, but as someone else said, the worst that can happen is you find out he has a GF. And so what? You can still smile and flirt. That's what life's all about: having fun!
Kamille Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I love the love Kizik! I also wanted to add: Men who are still single face the same challenge we women do: how to spot a single woman. If you appear unapproachable SP, then they're going to assume you're taken or, minimally, not interested in them. Maybe us single folks should develop our own accent, you know kind of like the gay community. You'reasian, how bad is you bad English accent? You think we could borrow the accent so it becomes the accent of single people everywhere? Failing having our own accent, the only way to meet single men is... well... to at least be approachable!
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Personally, unless I see a ring, I think "fair game" until she drops the B-bomb. "And my boyfriend and I went to the..." And I just mentally check out and think of ways to get outta the convo.
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 No, I said 19-23 is my ideal, but I'm willing to date anyone under thirty (or even a bit over if they look young). I think that's pretty reasonable given my age. Aren't you 24, or 25? I wouldn't think dating a 19 year old boy would be ideal for someone your age, maturity level, or intellect. Why must they look young?
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Aren't you 24, or 25? I wouldn't think dating a 19 year old boy would be ideal for someone your age, maturity level, or intellect. Why must they look young? No, I mean looks-wise. I wouldn't actually date a nineteen year old.
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I even had a few of them say "I wouldn't put up with you if you weren't so pretty." Isn't that a signal to you? That it's not your appearance that's ever the problem? So why criticize others' appearances?
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 No, I mean looks-wise. I wouldn't actually date a nineteen year old. Well, CaliGuy claims he looks 23, but is about 40. Maybe give him a chance!
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Well, CaliGuy claims he looks 23, but is about 40. Maybe give him a chance! He doesn't actually look that young (no offense, Cali).
Kamille Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Personally, unless I see a ring, I think "fair game" until she drops the B-bomb. "And my boyfriend and I went to the..." And I just mentally check out and think of ways to get outta the convo. True, there is no way to know but to rely on them to tell us. And usually -usually they do. But Kizik, do you approach women who give out an unapproachable vibe?
Cora Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 My question is would single guys even approach a girl who lets say isn't so attractive? I am someone who has to rely on my personality and charm which is really hard to do considering how shy I am. I think this is what makes me so nervous when a guy is looking at me or smiling at me. I'm thinking why is he even giving me the time of day? Then I think he is probably just being friendly because I'm not a looker by far and he doesn't know me to know my personality. Anyway, I know that is one of the main reasons why I can't find decent, single men over 25 or under 25 for that matter. UGHH so very frustrating!!
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Kizik, do you approach women who give out an unapproachable vibe? Nope, that's usually an exercise in futility and embarrassment. I wouldn't ask an angry-looking guy for a cigarette, either. People, how can you expect kindness when you don't initially act kind yourselves? This is a backwards thought pattern that places responsibility on the world at large to please you or flatter you, without your ever having to invite it or reciprocate. It's an attitude based on entitlement. It's having expectations without having set a good, inviting precedent for those expectations to be fulfilled.
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 My question is would single guys even approach a girl who lets say isn't so attractive? I am someone who has to rely on my personality and charm which is really hard to do considering how shy I am. I think this is what makes me so nervous when a guy is looking at me or smiling at me. I'm thinking why is he even giving me the time of day? Then I think he is probably just being friendly because I'm not a looker by far and he doesn't know me to know my personality. Anyway, I know that is one of the main reasons why I can't find decent, single men over 25 or under 25 for that matter. UGHH so very frustrating!! I know there are average-unattractive women who have success with men, but they often have to do the approaching or they meet men through friends. If you're shy it's a lot harder, but I suspect many of those women may be naturally shy but forced themselves to get out of their shell.
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Nope, that's usually an exercise in futility and embarrassment. I wouldn't ask an angry-looking guy for a cigarette, either. People, how can you expect kindness when you don't initially act kind yourselves? This is a backwards thought pattern that places responsibility on the world at large to please you or flatter you, without your ever having to invite it or reciprocate. It's an attitude based on entitlement. It's having expectations without having set a good, inviting precedent for those expectations to be fulfilled. How does a woman let you know that she's approachable without being overtly flirty?
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Like I said Shadow, a quick smile, some eye contact. Nothing too involved. Usually I'll try to make conversation... "Man, it's so hot out there." Now, you can respond one of two ways. 1. "Yep." 2. "I know, it's crazy, right?" See the difference in attitude?
GorillaTheater Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 How does a woman let you know that she's approachable without being overtly flirty? A nice smile and eye contact were all the invitation I ever needed.
Cora Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 LOL remaining single is just so much easier! Too many things to overcome in order to find a mate.
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