lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Is just a fact. You just don't find quality men single and available. A very simple point. And is not like I care much now either. The problem is...there ARE quality men...they are just older than what I would like to date. I find guys in their 20's & 30's are so in-limbo with their lives. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it isn't something I want...b/c I know exactly what I want and exactly where my life is headed. I find men in their 40's are done with the games, way more sure of themselves and their careers and financially secure...and no, I'm looking for a man's man miney (i make my own thank you very much), but there is something to be said for a man who can actually pay his bills and have his fun at the same time. That's important to me.
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 I would think that the film industry would be full of attractive and intelligent men. Hell, I had an STR with an actor last year and aren't in the industry, although I do live in Hollywood North. In NY or Hollywood, yes, but I'm still a student working in a small town production company.
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 True Im rather homely and balding and I prefer gorgeous women like TBF Any guy would Of course I cant get them, so if Im being realistic I have to lower my standards And same goes for women It goes both ways and always has Isnt that obvious Now YOU have no excuse to be single. None what-so-ever, beyond fighting your own inner demons.
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Targeting men by profession sounds like something you'd hear on Sex And The City.
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 In NY or Hollywood, yes, but I'm still a student working in a small town production company.It sounds to me like you're looking for every excuse in the book, as to why you won't put yourself out there. If you can shake your fear of rejection, it's just a matter of time and numbers.
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Targeting men by profession sounds like something you'd hear on Sex And The City.Yesu Chreest! I've always found that show as stupid as it gets... No, not by profession but by environment. If you're looking for someone of a particular list of traits, look for the environment that these guys flock to.
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Im rather homely and balding and I prefer gorgeous women like TBF Any guy would That's the problem with the guys. They only care about the exterior, and miss all the deeper connection that they can have with someone compatible. They should fix their antennas a little.
GorillaTheater Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 That's the problem with the guys. They only care about the exterior This from the person who won't read my posts because she doesn't like my avatar. It hurts, thinking of all the gems she's missed because of it.
lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 That's the problem with the guys. They only care about the exterior, and miss all the deeper connection that they can have with someone compatible. They should fix their antennas a little. this is 100% true...this is why people who are good catches are single! b/c looks are everything to men and what you actually possess in characteristics are null & void.
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 That's the problem with the guys. They only care about the exterior, and miss all the deeper connection that they can have with someone compatible. They should fix their antennas a little. It's not so much that they ONLY care about the exterior (at least not all guys), but many won't give a girl a chance unless she passes his attractiveness threshold. So looks for men are necessary but not sufficient. Often if a guy knows two women who are interested in him, both of whom are attractive enough for him to date, but one is prettier than the other...he'll go for the prettier one instead of getting to know them both better first.
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 This from the person who won't read my posts because she doesn't like my avatar. It hurts, thinking of all the gems she's missed because of it. (I told you I find your avatar offensive, is not a matter of aesthetics. It'd be just the same as someone exposing himself in the avatar)
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 It's not so much that they ONLY care about the exterior (at least not all guys), but many won't give a girl a chance unless she passes his attractiveness threshold. But then they what the prettiest one to actually be compatible. So then they try with all their might to make it so.
tanbark813 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 this is 100% true...this is why people who are good catches are single! b/c looks are everything to men and what you actually possess in characteristics are null & void. There's another one of those bitter blanket statements men love ever so much. Often if a guy knows two women who are interested in him, both of whom are attractive enough for him to date, but one is prettier than the other...he'll go for the prettier one instead of getting to know them both better first. I'll take an intelligent, trustworthy 7 over a dim-witted, untrustworthy 9 in a heartbeat. I know I'm not alone on that too.
Ariadne Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 The problem is...there ARE quality men... I find men in their 40's are done with the games Ok, In my experience, again, this is what you find single over 40: You get sleaze boy, impotent dude, dirt broke pal, sex hang ups guy, dull and boring Sam... oh, and alcoholic Jack.
OpenBook Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I'll take an intelligent, trustworthy 7 over a dim-witted, untrustworthy 9 in a heartbeat. I know I'm not alone on that too. I can back this up. I've seen this happen way more often than the other way around... in fact, the 9's often end up with misogynistic jerks. They certainly tend to have way more trouble with men than the average Josephine's do. It's all about making the most of what you've got.
lovestruck818 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Ok, In my experience, again, this is what you find single over 40: You get sleaze boy, impotent dude, dirt broke pal, sex hang ups guy, dull and boring Sam... oh, and alcoholic Jack. I find more of those in 20's & 30's...I don't know any men like that over 40! Perhaps they are single a) b/c they want to be or b) matured later on in life. A lot of guys I know are still clubbing & partying well into their 30's...perhaps now maybe mr. 40-year-old is ready to commit. Not all 40-year-old single people are losers. Some, yes. All, hardly.
Star Gazer Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Often if a guy knows two women who are interested in him, both of whom are attractive enough for him to date, but one is prettier than the other...he'll go for the prettier one instead of getting to know them both better first. I don't believe that for a second. But it would explain why you seem primarily focused on external qualities.
burning 4 revenge Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 It's not so much that they ONLY care about the exterior (at least not all guys), but many won't give a girl a chance unless she passes his attractiveness threshold. So looks for men are necessary but not sufficient. Often if a guy knows two women who are interested in him, both of whom are attractive enough for him to date, but one is prettier than the other...he'll go for the prettier one instead of getting to know them both better first. But youve said some of the most superficial things Ive ever heard in my life...
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 TBF and Kizik are right: all this negativity is weighing me (and others who think like this) down. It's gratifying to vent sometimes, but sort of in the unhealthy way that eating junk food is. I think I've been feeling bleaker than usual in the last week because I've just starting weaning off my antidepressant medication (Effexor). Hopefully my spirits will rise once the withdrawal effects wear off. The thing I find hard to do is just have faith that my world view is wrong. That if I push harder and keep trying things will get better. I feel so stuck. I think it's hard for people on the outside to understand how tricky it can be to get out of your own head if you're depressed. I really want to, though. So I'm taking a break from the venting.
donnamaybe Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Ok, In my experience, again, this is what you find single over 40: You get sleaze boy, impotent dude, dirt broke pal, sex hang ups guy, dull and boring Sam... oh, and alcoholic Jack. Really? Which one is Denver Guy?
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 But youve said some of the most superficial things Ive ever heard in my life... such as.........? ....................................
Trialbyfire Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Sheesh, this thread has more excuses than mold on an old piece of cheese!
burning 4 revenge Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 such as.........? .................................... Just the other day you were saying you were only attracted to men 18-23 or something and you go on and on about the looks of models and celebrities hyper-analyzing every nuance conceivable
Author shadowplay Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 I grew up in a family in which the women were all judged by the men for how they looked. My grandfather (a physics professor) would rip apart the girlfriends that relatives brought over for the holidays after they left. My father (a Ph.D. and computer engineer) would always ask what a woman looked like when my mother brought somebody up in a conversation. He'd also make fun of women who were out of shape or had defects. My brother (a Harvard grad) would only approach 9s or 10s and complain that no attractive women liked him. My uncle (an extremely bright doctor) would meet most of his girlfriends at the gym. I remember once he was dating a woman who had a great body but a plain face. Whenever he introduced her to his friends he'd ask her to stand up. He'd also take me and my brother out when he scouted for women and shouted things out to them on the street. No doubt this has shaped how I view men. It doesn't help that the guys I've dated often seemed more interested in the way I look than my personality. Of course they got to know me and liked the things I had to say, but when it came to complimenting me or waxing poetic about me it was always related to my appearance. I even had a few of them say "I wouldn't put up with you if you weren't so pretty." I don't think I'm as attractive as I was when I was 19 or 20, so it doesn't really matter now.
kizik Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 All I can say is, without even seeing you, I'd date you.
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