raw_sugar Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 ok, its a bit of a long story, im going to try to simplify as much as possible. I work in a restoration company that requires me to be in the shop or on the field. We recently had one of the people working in our companys' office move into the shop to run the equipment cage and since he has started I have been his assistant whenever we are short on field jobs. I've been interested in him since day one, but I've kept our relationship semi-professional (we used to flirt a bit here and there), not wanting to presue anything because of the work factor and I wasn't 100% sure he was into me. Recently he went to my friend Jay in the warehouse and made some comments about me, saying he wanted to hook up but was too shy to initiate anything. I decided to make the first move, got his number and asked him if he wanted to hang out sometime through text. He told me that he was sorry but he had to much baggage and no time. Not wanting to make things awkward I told him "fair enough, no worries :)" he responded with "do you understand, really?" I told him "yes I do, I know what its like to have too much on your plate, don't worry about it" He thanked me and after I responded he got very sexual with his texting, and asked me some personal questions about my sexual preferences, which proved to be compatible with what he was into. I found out shortly after that he was in a relationship with a girl in the office, but when my friend Jay casually asked him he said they were seeing each other and not in a relationship. Since all of this has happened we have worked in the warehouse together for a day and a half and its been nothing but sexual remarks and flirting. The girl he is seeing has completely turned against me, (there are some rumors about him and I due to the amount of time we spend in together at work and because my coworkers really have nothing better to do with their time) and I know they are still involved because she came to visit him while I was working with him, got him to sneak out the for a quick smoke with her and gave him a mcdonalds toy for his desk. I want to know what to make of all these mixed messages. According to Jay, he thinks im super hot and wants me (his words were more vulgar), and he is only interested in sex and alot of it but nothing serious because he just got out of a long term thing with a psycho who pretty much stalked him when he started dating again, and I am not much of a relationship person that likes to have a steady f#$* so it seams as if it could work out but I really dont know what to think...help? I would like a non-biased opinion, if you want more information, ask
Lucky_One Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 He just got out of a R with a psycho, and now he is another R, and he also wants to screw you? Personally, he sounds disgusting; I don't like men who behave like that or text nasty things or talk about me in vulgar terms to other people or who try to make my professional reputation turn into the office pump. But you may like guys like that. Everyone has a brand of tea that they prefer. As for him sending mixed messages - he isn't. He has made his intention very clear. He is willing to f*ck you, to ruin your reputation at work, but he isn't willing to date you. Good luck!
Author raw_sugar Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 A relationship is defiantly not what I am looking for, and it isn't what he is looking for either (his words, not my assumptions). From my work friends and I gathered is she took their casual dating to be more then it was. Its not my intention to screw a guy with a girlfriend, nor will I. As far as him being disgusting, men among men are going to say disgusting things (for the most part) especially in the restoration/construction industry. I'm a tom boy, Ive always hung out with the guys, they have always talked about woman and their attributes in a some what demeaning/vulgar way when it was just the guys (I got told that I didn't count cause I wasn't a chick). Its just way guys are, And the nasty texts...it takes two to have a conversation....I let my libido take over on that one, I was defiantly encouraging it...but for the record, he started it. Its funny that you say he is trying to "ruin" my reputation. That is a pretty large assumption on your part, and defiantly not the case. The only reason his sudo "relationship" with the office girl came out is because she has a big mouth and wanted to make her ex jealous, up until last week, he was very discreet about it. My reputation isnt on the line.
Island Girl Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Ive always hung out with the guys, they have always talked about woman and their attributes in a some what demeaning/vulgar way when it was just the guys (I got told that I didn't count cause I wasn't a chick). Its just way guys are, This is not true. Guys talk like this about women they don't care about - whom they see as just sexual conquests - or possible friends with benefits, etc. There is a select very small percentage of guys that talk about all women like this - they are the ones who can't emotionally connect in a relationship. If a guy really has an emotional connection with a girl and she is special to him he will NOT talk about her in those ways to other men and heaven forbid any other guys talk like that about her and he hears it or hears about it. If you are a "tom boy" and really are accepted as one of the guys then it shouldn't be too hard to confirm what I am saying. It is the truth. If you have brothers - ask them - they'll tell you.
Author raw_sugar Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Island girl, while I appreciate your opinion on the matter, I do not agree. I have worked construction and demolition for the past 9 years which has kept me surrounded by guys (poor me ) These men talk about their girlfriends that way, their wives, and their ****s. (i'm really not saying this to be argumentative, this is just the way the men that surround me act) Most men are crude and most woman are even worse. The only guys I have experienced that don't talk about their woman in a sexual crude manner are the sensitive types and the ones with jealousy issues. Maybe its the industry that turns men into dogs, and im just biased because Ive spent my life with construction workers; but with my experiences, i just cant agree at all with your post. For the record, his comments weren't overly crude, he just talked about how much he loved my boobs (their kinda famous in these regions LOL) and wanted to hook up but was afraid because its not good for either of our jobs.
mac10688 Posted July 13, 2009 Posted July 13, 2009 Yeah I mow grass with 2 married men, one in his late 50's and the other in his late 30's. They are always looking for young attractive women when we drive from house to house but we have had the discussion and they would never cheat on their wives and they treat their wives like queens.
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