Author Jersey Shortie Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Please spare me, no one else here is any better. I don't see any of you changing your opinions just because someone else offfered a different one. She: "Are you seeing anyone else?" He: "I'm not in an exclusive relationship at the moment." Show me the secret. Clv, I don't even need to say anything here because your comments speak for themselves. Why go to such great lengths to be so elusive if you didn't fear that the next potentail woman wouldn't want to date you if you didn't invest more serious energy into it. You can answer the way you said above. But why not just say "I am seeing a few people currently, as are they". Just as simple and frankly, more honest and to the point. And, yes, you do want blind agreement. You blow off every opinion that differs from your own. I've participated in enough of these pointless threads to know that. Pot meet kettle because I don't do anything different from you and the other posters here, male and female. Everyone here thinks their opinion is the best. I ask questions and often, they get talked around or not aknowledged. Such as my question about men really being about celebrating female sexuality or more being about celebrating male sexuality and wanting women to conform to those standards and be turned on on the same way men are more then they really want women to be true to themselves on how they are turned on. No man has yet to directly address that question. You're assuming that a woman is exclusively turned on by "emotions" while gearing up for sex and that that turn on is completely devoid of emotional attachment. I never assumed any such thing. *YOU* assumed it. I think women can be turned on completely devoid of emotions. But when speaking in general terms that apply to the masses, we often say men are "visual" and women are "emotional". Based on those comments, my examples fit. I don't think I need to fill up my post with every other situation and combination that can occur when trying to get to the heart of the matter in a specific case. The hypothesis is unbalanced, argumentative and biased towards justifying your anti-porn/anti-strip-club views. No. It's about looking a sexuality from a woman's standpoint and what turns women on that is true to female nature. Not what turns women on compared to what men *want* women to be turned on by. It's easy for men to tell women "viva la sexuality" when women are catering to a male dominated view point of sex. When it comes to women really expressing their sexuality in terms that are vastly different from how men can be turned on, men aren't so secure anymore. That is what the hypothesis is based on. And considering men and women aren't twins but complemtary partners (we hope at least), not all situations are going to be fairly comparable tit for tat. Because men and women aren't fairly comparable tit for tat. Not even in their sexuality. Let me finish by saying, I think the "adult entertainment" industry (to broadly encompass both porn and strip clubs) are acceptable forms of entertainment. All parties involved get something out of it and at the end of the night everyone goes home happy. I am not a jealous man and I believe in trust in a relationship, therefore I would not have a problem with my partner seeking that casual "turn on" when it came to heighten her pleasure. If everyone was going home happy Rod, you wouldn't have the millions of women you see on the internet everyday struggling with their men's porn use. Or men struggling with porn addiction. An addiction that proves to be more addictive and concealed then drugs do to the eassy access. And you wouldn't have young girls getting in an industry that for the most part, is a desperate move. Fact: the average girl in porn lasts from 6 months to a year. Doctors that have treated these porn actresses have found that they end up sometimes with serious medical issues do to how they are treated. In that time line she is asked to do more graphic and often deeming sexual acts. Her agreement to these acts do not negate the responsiblity of the people watching her to get off. The two are seperate actions. But as long as a man gets to go home and pull one out to it, none of that matters. All that matters seems to be if a man gets to get off. Even at the stake of other people. Again, I will repeat that a pornstars agreement to do a movie, is a completely seperate action from a grown man choosing to watch that same pornstar. She might put it out there but as a grown adult person, if you pick it up to watch it, it's not her fault you did.
RunawayTrain Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Runaway Train Ok you want a lapdance, then go to a male strip club that caters for women and get yourself a lapdance by a man, you cannot get more equivalent then that. Tit for tat is the name of the game I see it. You do understand there are differences between men and women right? And that women are turned on in different ways that men are not right? If men are okay with exploring their sexuality with other women, other then their SO. Why wouldn't he be okay with his woman exploring her sexuailty with other men, other then their SO? What if a woman isn't turned on by a lap dance? Is it fair for her to go out, just like him, and do something that does turn her on, just like he is? Ok im getting the vibe that you were jilted in some sort of relationship where the guy you were dating or fornicating with (either or) went to a strip club leaving you jaded and pissed off at the whole male gender. You refuse to listen to anyone elses input on this matter and take everything to heart because it seems you yourself can relate to the whole strip club thing. You have repeatedly made baseless accusations on behalf the male and female gender. And believe me I know the female gender quite well and I know how to make a relationship work. I don't need to go to strip clubs to be happy or maintain an adequate intimacy with my S/O.
fral945 Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 If men are "visual", women are more described as being "emotional" or even the more "verbal" gender. That being the case, if it's okay for men to receive visual pleasure from other women, real or in images; is it okay for women to received verbal and emotional pleasure from other men? Yes, it's ok. Women get this sort of pleasure already (i.e., Hollywood chick flicks and romance novels, where they create some cheesy story where a man expresses his undying love for one woman ). While I understand that men are perfectly okay with women being turned on in the ways that a man himself is, are men okay with women being turned on in the ways that is more true to being a female? Sure.
butcher's hook Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 You're assuming that a woman is exclusively turned on by "emotions" while gearing up for sex and that that turn on is completely devoid of emotional attachment. An unrealistic view of women and how they "work". While men's view of porn/strip clubs as "visual" creatures IS completely devoid of emotional attachment. The hypothesis is unbalanced, argumentative and biased towards justifying your anti-porn/anti-strip-club views. I don't think she means women are exclusively turned by emotions actually As a woman I can go see naked guys dance and I feel nothing for that it does not get me aroused, not because I don't like to see a naked man but because some clown on a stage who means nothing to me does not get me jacked up. I can appreciate he looks hot and find him hot but it does not get me to any point of arousal. A phone conversation with a stranger, where he is saying things to me and I am to him does get me jacked up. So much so that if I was sitting at home all night getting turned on by men on a phone and my partner was out all night getting turned on by lap dances I would feel that is a much more fair comparison to how the night should end for both. I use strange men to get me all worked up on the phone (all platonic of course much like a "platonic lap dance")and he can use strange women to get him all worked up. Let's go to bed! Let me finish by saying, I think the "adult entertainment" industry (to broadly encompass both porn and strip clubs) are acceptable forms of entertainment. All parties involved get something out of it and at the end of the night everyone goes home happy. I am not a jealous man and I believe in trust in a relationship, therefore I would not have a problem with my partner seeking that casual "turn on" when it came to heighten her pleasure. Yeah small detail, all parties involved get something out of it EXCEPT the wife or girlfriend of the guy who is at home and who has to spread'm for him when he gets home all jacked up on the stimulus he just got at the strip joint. Again, all parties involved get what they want except a significant part of said party the other half of the relationship
samspade Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 How many men are okay with their women receiving verbal and emotional (non-sexual even for the sake or argument) pleasure from other men, either real or in pre-recorded style? As long as they come home to you, their man. Verbal, emotional, non-sexual pleasure? Women already get this from their gay male friends and straight, male, friend-zoned, lap dog hangers-on. Not to mention their girl friends. However, to be commensurate with stripping, it would have to be a paid service from an otherwise disinterested stranger, in order for your analogy to work. If it were a 900-number, I might be okay with it.
IrishCarBomb Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I think I read somewhere that in the 2010's "strippers are totally going to replace girlfriends".
butcher's hook Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Verbal, emotional, non-sexual pleasure? Women already get this from their gay male friends and straight, male, friend-zoned, lap dog hangers-on. Not to mention their girl friends. That's true! :laugh: However, to be commensurate with stripping, it would have to be a paid service from an otherwise disinterested stranger, in order for your analogy to work. If it were a 900-number, I might be okay with it. So a 900 is ok. Hmm interesting. See so then just a regular Joe on the other end also using a phone sex service with your woman is a no go then? It would have to be someone doing it for money? Reason I ask is that I think the real challenge is to equate someone that could be potentially dangerous, a guy getting paid to talk dirty to a woman on the phone has 0 danger appeal to it. Where as a regular joe on the other end might. Much as a lapdance has danger appeal in that it could lead to illicit sex, paid or unpaid. I know guys love to use the analogy of "well if you trust your guy..." so the same could be said about women..."well if you trust your woman you can let her have some phone sex with regular joes on the phone, not a paid 900 line". Also get accustomed to the idea that from time to time your woman would like to have some regular joe on the phone arouse her to a point of excitement where she would turn to you and ask you to relieve her after she has spent hours fantasizing with some strange man on the phone. Would that sit well with you guys?
butcher's hook Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I think I read somewhere that in the 2010's "strippers are totally going to replace girlfriends". :lmao: That's only what like 5 months away? I'd better hurry up and squeeze some nice jewelry, expensive dinners and trinkets out of my guy then.
samspade Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Reason I ask is that I think the real challenge is to equate someone that could be potentially dangerous, a guy getting paid to talk dirty to a woman on the phone has 0 danger appeal to it. Where as a regular joe on the other end might. Much as a lapdance has danger appeal in that it could lead to illicit sex, paid or unpaid. There is a minute chance a stripper would have unpaid sex with her client, but they are mercenaries who are on the clock, so if it were to lead to sex, 9 times out of 10 it would be prostitution. But the fact that it is leading to actual sex, and is no longer just a fantasy act, stretches the analogy too far. To me it seems like we are talking about one fantasy vs. another, without it progressing to physical sex (am I wrong?). I know guys love to use the analogy of "well if you trust your guy..." so the same could be said about women..."well if you trust your woman you can let her have some phone sex with regular joes on the phone, not a paid 900 line". Also get accustomed to the idea that from time to time your woman would like to have some regular joe on the phone arouse her to a point of excitement where she would turn to you and ask you to relieve her after she has spent hours fantasizing with some strange man on the phone. I'd be open to anything if it were discussed with me first. I'd rather my girlfriend share her fantasies with me and give me the opportunity to say yes or no to them, than to live in a world of secrecy and suppression. I expect the same of my SO, and if she were uncomfortable with me getting a lap dance, I wouldn't do it (presuming she is worth keeping as a girlfriend). I'm not really into strippers and lapdances so it's all hypothetical. Anyway, if two people can't reconcile their sexualities, perhaps they are not right for each other.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Yes, it's ok. Women get this sort of pleasure already (i.e., Hollywood chick flicks and romance novels, where they create some cheesy story where a man expresses his undying love for one woman ). That's a rather mote comparison. Because men also enjoy Hollywood action-packed, sex-packed movies. Men get pleasure from Hollywood movies as well. Male Hollywood movies are comparable to female Hollywood movies. Comparing chick flicks to porn isn't a fair comparison. As far as romance novels, I never agreed that they were a good comparison either. 99% of women don't masturbate to a romance novel. 99% of romance novels don't involve degrading and humilating the man while alot of porn, is just about that. (Yes, even if the woman agrees to it doesn't mean it's not devaluing her or women in general. And if you are honest with yourself, you know this is true for the simple fact that men would never want anyone they *really* care about (but who knows what that means anymore) to be in a porn). Romance novels can better be compared to men's love for video games. Video games often can have sexual and testoserone fueled ego pumping behavior. Just as romance novels can have female fueled behavior. I don't think most men are sad enough to masturbate to video games either. I think I read somewhere that in the 2010's "strippers are totally going to replace girlfriends". Doesn't suprise me since men have in a few short 30 years let porn replace them. There is a minute chance a stripper would have unpaid sex with her client, but they are mercenaries who are on the clock, so if it were to lead to sex, 9 times out of 10 it would be prostitution. But the fact that it is leading to actual sex, and is no longer just a fantasy act, stretches the analogy too far. To me it seems like we are talking about one fantasy vs. another, without it progressing to physical sex (am I wrong?). Some think the lapdance itself or even the going to a strip club is already crossing boundries. If you are physically already getting a lap dance, isn't that no longer a fantasy anymore as well? I'd be open to anything if it were discussed with me first. I'd rather my girlfriend share her fantasies with me and give me the opportunity to say yes or no to them, than to live in a world of secrecy and suppression. Now see that I agree with and that is how many women feel as well. But it often does seem like men do live in a world of secrecy and suppression when they are sitting alone in their rooms infront of their computer with a whole world of fantasy catering to them. And alot of men like it that way. At least maybe you can understand the other side of it after knowing for yourself that you would want your girlfriend to be invovled with *you* instead of looking for outside sources. Which is basically what you said. Often, men look for so many outside sources, it just gets disheartening as a woman.
Alma Mobley Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I am so very, very tired of men saying that romance novels are akin to porn. Romance novels are not nearly as devoured by women as porn is to men, made easier by the Internet. I myself have never read a romance novel, unless you count when I had to read Wuthering Heights in high school. I think I am a normal, probably boringly so, woman, and I have not read these mythical romance novels that rival men's interest in porn! If women read these novels in droves, the NYT list of best-sellers would be inundated, eh? Recent studies show that, yes, men like looking at women. But it shows women like being looked AT. Therefore, the best comparison to men going to strip clubs and looking at porn would be a woman putting herself out there. I would like to do fetish modeling (corset stuff, etc) but my SO says NO, but looks at porn all the time. I think Jersey is right to bring this up.
AlektraClementine Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Now see that I agree with and that is how many women feel as well. But it often does seem like men do live in a world of secrecy and suppression when they are sitting alone in their rooms infront of their computer with a whole world of fantasy catering to them. And alot of men like it that way. At least maybe you can understand the other side of it after knowing for yourself that you would want your girlfriend to be invovled with *you* instead of looking for outside sources. Which is basically what you said. Often, men look for so many outside sources, it just gets disheartening as a woman. I asked my fiance about this. The secrecy. He has never been secretive about his porn usage with me but said that it has been difficult for him to open up about it. Why? Because he was chastised and berated for it by girlfriends in the past. Made to feel like he was sick or weird for looking at porn. Then I came along. A fellow porn watcher. It has never been hidden from me. I know that the anti-porn women may not believe it when I say this but I would bet that I watch as much porn as the average male. I have a fiance who travels a good bit. I don't watch it often when he's around. He doesn't watch it as much when he's around. But when he travels (i.e. he's been in europe for 2 weeks) I watch A LOT of it. Oddly enough, I watch porn in which males are degraded sometimes. I think it all depends on your comfort level. btw Jersey - Dictate was a strange choice of words in your last reply to me. I offered advice (unsolicited I'll grant you) which you can take or leave but I assure you that I have no intention of "dictating" how you talk.
carhill Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I am so very, very tired of men saying that romance novels are akin to porn. Romance novels are not nearly as devoured by women as porn is to men, made easier by the Internet. Perhaps different in content (conceptual versus visual) but it is still distracting. I moved about 200 pounds of romance novels to my wife's new house (along with all her other books) and she still reads them religiously, as evidenced by the piles around the house as recently as yesterday. Conversely, no heavy lifting was involved in the transport of my illustrated romance novels IMO, whether it be porn, strip clubs, chick flicks, romance novels or 'girl's nights out', any activity which lessens the priority of one's partner and is pursued over the expressed concerns of one's partner is an issue for that couple. It doesn't matter who pursues and who is concerned. Either perspective is valid and the couple must decide where the compromise and their joint priorities lie. If there is no resolution, incompatibility results. Incompatibility leads to singledom. BTW, the only time I complained about her romance novels was when I ended up kicking them because they were piled up on the floor and in my way (like when I was making the bed). I never complained about 'girl's nights out', wherever they might be
Author Jersey Shortie Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 I think I am a normal, probably boringly so, woman, and I have not read these mythical romance novels that rival men's interest in porn! I know! And really, how many men would dress up and act out some scene from a romance novel? How many women would even ask such a thing? Compared to how many men ask their partesr to act out or dress up like a scene from a porno. Seriously, you men have it easy. Lets also add in factors of how women are depicted in porn and how men are depicted in romance novels. Women are called names, used roughly often and aren't really thought about much more then how big their breasts are or how many orfices can be used. Romance novels don't call men names or belittle them and aren't about humilating the male gender. when men make this comparison they act like they don't have other resources other then porn that are hyper sexualized. Such as video games. While i agree that romance novels are a more female dominated industry, they are in no way comparable to what the porn industry is. Romance novels are more comparable to men's love for video games that often also can be sexualized and bring a different kind of pleasure to a man. Alektra, I totally believe you that you say you watch porn alot. I know there are women out there that do. I don't agree with any more then I agree with it when a man does it. I don't say this as a snob. Just to let you know that I don't think it's right either way. And I am sure that many men do lie about it because they feel ashamed or had to deal with a woman's hurt in the past over it. But what as a woman are you suppose to do? Act like you love it? Smile at him like he is the best in the world even though he likes watching Slutty Cheearleaders 5000 when it does hurt you? Just "ignore" it so that he still gets the porn AND you and you are suppose to live in ignorance to what he is doing? I find it ironic that a man would be sensitive to being berated for porn use yet has no problem with women in porn being berated and degraded. There is something hypocritical in that. A man doesn't want to be berated and that's fair. But for him to want his woman to feel good about something that is basically about treating women like nothing but a hole is ridiculous. I think porn tells us alot about what men really want. And sadly, it doesn't seem like men want real women on equal footing. Can we not also safely think that when a man lies about his porn use, that is his insecurity? Something we are always telling women to "get over" yet justify when men do it apparently. btw Jersey - Dictate was a strange choice of words in your last reply to me. I offered advice (unsolicited I'll grant you) which you can take or leave but I assure you that I have no intention of "dictating" how you talk. You saw something sexual in something that wasn't Alektra. "Dictate" is a fairly innocent word.
AlektraClementine Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Alektra, I totally believe you that you say you watch porn alot. I know there are women out there that do. I don't agree with any more then I agree with it when a man does it. I don't say this as a snob. Just to let you know that I don't think it's right either way. And I am sure that many men do lie about it because they feel ashamed or had to deal with a woman's hurt in the past over it. But what as a woman are you suppose to do? Act like you love it? Smile at him like he is the best in the world even though he likes watching Slutty Cheearleaders 5000 when it does hurt you? Just "ignore" it so that he still gets the porn AND you and you are suppose to live in ignorance to what he is doing? You saw something sexual in something that wasn't Alektra. "Dictate" is a fairly innocent word. Perfectly fine for you to see porn usage as "not right". May I ask why though? In the specific context of my relationship. Fiance and I are not hurt whatsoever by each other watching porn. What's not right about it? And to answer your question: No, you are not supposed to pretend that you like it. You'd do better choosing a partner who shares your views on porn. Simple as that. When you step into the realm of deciding what is right for other couples is where you (as I see it) are really off base. Forgive me, but can you explain your last sentence about my seeing something sexual in something that wasn't that led you to use the word "dictate"? I'm confused about that. Also - can you answer this question. If you found someone who never watched porn and shared your views on porn, do you think you'd worry about this issue so much?
AlektraClementine Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 btw - as an avid porn watcher, I'd like to point out that there is a HUGE market for male domination porn. The women in these movies are not degraded. They do the degrading.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Perfectly fine for you to see porn usage as "not right". May I ask why though? In the specific context of my relationship. Fiance and I are not hurt whatsoever by each other watching porn. What's not right about it? It's not a matter of what I think is right or wrong within your own personal relationship. It's an opinion about the message porn gives to society as a whole and the fact that we all make up society for better or worse. And to answer your question: No, you are not supposed to pretend that you like it. You'd do better choosing a partner who shares your views on porn. Simple as that. That is great advice if I lived in a 30 minute sitcom where there is conflict then resolution. i'd love to find a guy that didn't view porn but there are more men that do then don't. When you step into the realm of deciding what is right for other couples is where you (as I see it) are really off base. To an extent, we all step into the realm of deciding what is right for other couples on certain issues. Forgive me, but can you explain your last sentence about my seeing something sexual in something that wasn't that led you to use the word "dictate"? What is hard to understand? Also - can you answer this question. If you found someone who never watched porn and shared your views on porn, do you think you'd worry about this issue so much? Yes. Because sadly, I want to make the world a better place and have great concern over our deadening and falling society. although I would probably be happier as far as relationships go.
Alma Mobley Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I know! And really, how many men would dress up and act out some scene from a romance novel? How many women would even ask such a thing? Compared to how many men ask their partesr to act out or dress up like a scene from a porno. Seriously, you men have it easy. Lets also add in factors of how women are depicted in porn and how men are depicted in romance novels. Women are called names, used roughly often and aren't really thought about much more then how big their breasts are or how many orfices can be used. Romance novels don't call men names or belittle them and aren't about humilating the male gender. when men make this comparison they act like they don't have other resources other then porn that are hyper sexualized. Such as video games. While i agree that romance novels are a more female dominated industry, they are in no way comparable to what the porn industry is. Romance novels are more comparable to men's love for video games that often also can be sexualized and bring a different kind of pleasure to a man. Alektra, I totally believe you that you say you watch porn alot. I know there are women out there that do. I don't agree with any more then I agree with it when a man does it. I don't say this as a snob. Just to let you know that I don't think it's right either way. And I am sure that many men do lie about it because they feel ashamed or had to deal with a woman's hurt in the past over it. But what as a woman are you suppose to do? Act like you love it? Smile at him like he is the best in the world even though he likes watching Slutty Cheearleaders 5000 when it does hurt you? Just "ignore" it so that he still gets the porn AND you and you are suppose to live in ignorance to what he is doing? I find it ironic that a man would be sensitive to being berated for porn use yet has no problem with women in porn being berated and degraded. There is something hypocritical in that. A man doesn't want to be berated and that's fair. But for him to want his woman to feel good about something that is basically about treating women like nothing but a hole is ridiculous. I think porn tells us alot about what men really want. And sadly, it doesn't seem like men want real women on equal footing. Can we not also safely think that when a man lies about his porn use, that is his insecurity? Something we are always telling women to "get over" yet justify when men do it apparently. You saw something sexual in something that wasn't Alektra. "Dictate" is a fairly innocent word. Well, my H's porn use has turned me off to him. I don't read romance novels. I used a vibrator once, and decided my own hand was better. I wish very much to be wanted and desired by my own H, but that is too much to ask, I suppose.
AlektraClementine Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 What is hard to understand? Please tell me what it was I saw, that was sexual. Dictate was a strong word in the context. Advice is not dictation.
Alma Mobley Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 oops -- I stepped into another conversation, and I quoted too much. Sorry!
samspade Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Some think the lapdance itself or even the going to a strip club is already crossing boundries. If you are physically already getting a lap dance, isn't that no longer a fantasy anymore as well? I guess it depends on the woman I'm dating and her boundaries. If she's not okay with it, I'll have to make a decision. Now see that I agree with and that is how many women feel as well. But it often does seem like men do live in a world of secrecy and suppression when they are sitting alone in their rooms infront of their computer with a whole world of fantasy catering to them. And alot of men like it that way. At least maybe you can understand the other side of it after knowing for yourself that you would want your girlfriend to be invovled with *you* instead of looking for outside sources. This is true, but what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Women get their emotional, ego-boosting fixes almost 24/7 from outside sources. Most women I know are hit on, stared at, consoled, complimented, flirted with, and asked out more than they can handle. I'm not complaining about this, though - I accept it and don't let it bother me as long as it isn't crossing any of MY boundaries. I know that if I keep her interested in me, I don't need to feel insecure over some schmuck at the office telling her how beautiful her eyes are. I'm not saying that it can't spiral into a full-fledged affair. Believe me, I've seen the dark side of females and I know what they're capable of, and they are far more cunning than men are when it comes to things like this. But if that were to happen, it won't be because I neglected her, nor will it be because I acted like an insecure boy every time she got sweet-talked by some random dude. Conversely, I don't think a woman should flip out just because her man checked out a naked chick online. We're men - we're going to be looking at naked chicks whenever we can. Personally, I'd rather be single than feel like I needed to do anything in secrecy. But I'm not so bullheaded to feel like I need to do it 24/7, or in front of her if it bothers her.
Alma Mobley Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 This is true, but what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Women get their emotional, ego-boosting fixes almost 24/7 from outside sources. Most women I know are hit on, stared at, consoled, complimented, flirted with, and asked out more than they can handle. Do you truly believe that this is the average woman's experience?
Author Jersey Shortie Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 Please tell me what it was I saw, that was sexual. Dictate was a strong word in the context. Advice is not dictation. I really don't believe that you really need me to explain it further to be honest. I guess it depends on the woman I'm dating and her boundaries. If she's not okay with it, I'll have to make a decision. Agree. This is true, but what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Women get their emotional, ego-boosting fixes almost 24/7 from outside sources. Most women I know are hit on, stared at, consoled, complimented, flirted with, and asked out more than they can handle. I'm not complaining about this, though - I accept it and don't let it bother me as long as it isn't crossing any of MY boundaries. I know that if I keep her interested in me, I don't need to feel insecure over some schmuck at the office telling her how beautiful her eyes are. If women were getting all this great attention 24/7 the second they stepped out of the house, there would be world peace by now. There is a woman in my spa that is from England. She says American men are so boring. Why? Because they don't flirt, they aren't playful, they aren't over flowing women with compliments. Secondly, a woman doesn't ask other men for compliments or stares. A man does go out of his way to look at other women. While it might make a woman feel good, she doesn't need it, ask for it or seek it out. ... and they are far more cunning than men are when it comes to things like this. Tell that to the wives of all our wonderful public male figures that are out there cheating on them. Conversely, I don't think a woman should flip out just because her man checked out a naked chick online. We're men - we're going to be looking at naked chicks whenever we can. Personally, I'd rather be single than feel like I needed to do anything in secrecy. But I'm not so bullheaded to feel like I need to do it 24/7, or in front of her if it bothers her. Then it goes back to the old excuse, your a man so it's okay for you to do anything that has to do with other women and sex. Self control need not apply here. At least your woman isn't out there seeking these things out from men, a man is making a choice to seek out other women though. And there are alot of women out there that rather be single then have to deal with a guy that is dependent on porn so much to the extent that he needs it rather consistanly through out his life and does it it behind her back the second she has it turned.
AlektraClementine Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I really don't believe that you really need me to explain it further to be honest. Man, talk about evading a question. Isn't that like one of your biggest complaints about others on the board? You're right. I don't "need" you to explain it. I'd like for you too but it appears you are not going to. Oh well. I'll live.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 I never avoided your question. You just said that you don't need me to explain. Seems you understood it fine the first time then.
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