tanbark813 Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 this is absolutely not a comparable example! And that is the reason why men are so okay with it. Women do not get as aroused by some random guy's naked body, even if he is very handsome. It's nice but it's just a guy's body. It doesn't make you extremely horny at all. I was saying that it being a paid service made it a more comparable example than the example of just going to a club. Don't take the post out of context.
Iced Mocha Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Tanbark.... The point is that men go and ogle these women in person. So when you suggested that women phoning a chatline for emotional gratification, I was asking how men would feel if we got our gratification face to face with another man. (after paying lol) Enough with that already, because I don't think that the phone sex thing is an equivalent either. It might be hilarious to do but again, I don't think that's gonna get me at the brink of orgasm either.. so still thinking about the equivalent
RunawayTrain Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 I can only speak for myself but not for nothing this economy sucks and I don't feel the need to waste any of my hard earned dollars at a strip club but hey thats me.
tanbark813 Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Tanbark.... The point is that men go and ogle these women in person. So when you suggested that women phoning a chatline for emotional gratification, I was asking how men would feel if we got our gratification face to face with another man. (after paying lol) Enough with that already, because I don't think that the phone sex thing is an equivalent either. It might be hilarious to do but again, I don't think that's gonna get me at the brink of orgasm either.. so still thinking about the equivalent I suggested that as an analogy because I was going along with JS's OP about visual vs. verbal and because it's a paid service, like a strip club. I acknowledge that they're not EXACTLY the same. Analogies are approximations by their nature. I've spent more hours reading through these strip club/porn threads than I'm proud to admit and no one has ever come up with a perfect analogy with which everyone agrees.
Iced Mocha Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Tanbark this is the last time I'm gonna say this the point I was making is being with the man in the same room. Don't worry though, as I don't think the example is there yet, because phonesex is probably not enough of a turnon even though it may be fun?? Back to the drawing board
tanbark813 Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Tanbark this is the last time I'm gonna say this Thank God.
Iced Mocha Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Thank God. Oh shhhh!! I think we are both skinm reading the other's posts! : )
whimsical_memory Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Being a bit of an authoritative figure on this subject (I am a retired phone sex operator or 'telephone actress'), I am going to stick my two cents worth into this conversation. Just like strippers, escorts, hookers, whatever you wanna call it- we are paid to help fulfill a fantasy (be it for man or woman). Just like strippers, escorts, hookers, etc...it is very rare for a PSO to actually get off on our clients. Sorry, but that is the truth..the whole business of phone sex is actually quite a turn off (at least when being paid for the job). And, in my experience-women very, very rarely called the phone line-it was always men, and they almost always shot their load before the end of five minutes.
motive2002 Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 Try this: He goes out to the strip club and gets visually stimulated (there's no sex in the champagne room!) She stays home and puts on her best, most romantic, starring a super hunk of a guy, chick flick on DVD Meet up later and have a fantasy where she is the stripper he managed to take home, and he is the romantic man of her dreams crossing the threshold for their first kiss. I dunno, just thinking out loud.
LDR Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 The way I see it, is that with the stripper there is or could be more direct contact than with a male actor or a book. I dont mind a man watching porn, but would feel uncomfortable if my bf was to visit strip bars, due to that possibility of direct contact.
Woggle Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Strip clubs for men pure debauchery that have no emotion involved whatsoever. We go there to have a good time and when we leave it is over. If woman find an equivelent to that I would have no issue with that but many women will have one phone conversation with a man and be ready to break up their entire family because they feel this amazing connection. You can't compare the two.
BUENG1 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 This one is predominately for the guys but of course, female opinions are also encouraged. Guys, if you think that strip clubs and porn are acceptable ways to heighten your desire whether alone or in gearing up for sex with your partner, would you in return be okay with your woman having some verbal or even emotional communication with other men to also be used as tools to gear her up for sex? I think we can all agree that there are certain things that can turn women on and certain things that can turn men on. Here is my line of thought. We always say "men are visual". And yes, while I agree men are visual, I disagree with it being a justified excuse for certain behavior. If men are "visual", women are more described as being "emotional" or even the more "verbal" gender. That being the case, if it's okay for men to receive visual pleasure from other women, real or in images; is it okay for women to received verbal and emotional pleasure from other men? How many men are okay with their women receiving verbal and emotional (non-sexual even for the sake or argument) pleasure from other men, either real or in pre-recorded style? As long as they come home to you, their man. While I understand that men are perfectly okay with women being turned on in the ways that a man himself is, are men okay with women being turned on in the ways that is more true to being a female? I guess there are two questions here to be answered bolded. What do you mean by "verbal and emotional pleasure"? You mean like phone sex?
Iced Mocha Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I think it is difficult to find something, because when a guy goes to see stippers, he is paying sexual attention to another woman. Things that a woman would do to display sexual interest in another man begins to falll under the umbrella of cheating, especially as all emotional contact with other men is "out of bounds". I dunno. I personally think that the subconcious gist of this is: biologically, males are not going to mate with the stripper. She too is a fellow picky woman, and chooses mates carefully. There is probably little risk to women when men go to see strippers. Maybe the jealousy is based on her partner spending resources on another woman?? However, if a woman starts pretty much anything with another guy attractive to her, there is a real risk that she may end up cheating as women tend to have 99% success rate of mating with someone she picks. this is probably why you keep hearing "No she can't do that" "No that's not the same" from men when suggest that us stripping or posting pics on the internet might be the same thing. Prob the only thing that begins to be equal, is a woman dressing up and flirting with a man she find attractive. (Showing sexual interest) Anyway, it's really rude to go see strippers regularly! Unless it's a one off bachelor party, it's really out of order!
Author Jersey Shortie Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 Bueng, I mean anything that is more classic to how women are turned on. Everyone seems to have forgotten my other question which had to do with the fact that I think men are okay with women being turned on in the same ways men on but are not okay with women *really* exploring their sexuality in the ways a woman can be turned on seperate from a man. Sometimes I feel like men rather women get turned on by other women more, lack of competition, then have women get tuned on by other men. Agree or disagree? CLV Of course, but she has to be willing to share it as a couple. Secrets are evil with very few exceptions. Such as the exception that he is dating multiple women behind her back because he is only worried about what he gets? Viagra is marketed to women anyway, to feed to their men so he can get it up for her saggy old ass. How many Viagra commercials have you seen where it's a single guy getting ready to hit the nightlife? Zero. It's always some old couple looking lovingly in each others eyes. Like Bill Maher said, "Bob Dole doesn't need Viagra, he needs a 19 year old." That's a very delusional and rather weak statement to make. Please go talk to your doctor about the medical facts pertaining to a male's aging and declining performance. Men's ability to be as virile declines with age. Men are loathe to admit their own dysfunctions but it doesn't make it any less true. Blaming a woman for a man's own lack of sexual virility is pretty low. Even for you to have that amount of lack of accountablity for your own sexuality is pretty amazing. Even the way you refer to women in your qoute is meant to put women do by telling the woman she has an "aging ass" and completely diminish them as people. And frankly, if that's how men feel about women, as you stated above, then it's obvious that in the grand scheme of things women are considered worthless to men whether they are 19 or 40. But please continue self promoting your worth as a man and throwing women in the gutter belitting them for even a man's own deficiency. Runaway Train Ok you want a lapdance, then go to a male strip club that caters for women and get yourself a lapdance by a man, you cannot get more equivalent then that. Tit for tat is the name of the game I see it. You do understand there are differences between men and women right? And that women are turned on in different ways that men are not right? If men are okay with exploring their sexuality with other women, other then their SO. Why wouldn't he be okay with his woman exploring her sexuailty with other men, other then their SO? What if a woman isn't turned on by a lap dance? Is it fair for her to go out, just like him, and do something that does turn her on, just like he is? You ‘ reasin Sex toys are much worse than porn or strip clubs ever could be. Yes, I always thought inanimate objects were a much greater threat then real life people or images of real life people. Guys go and see strippers in person though, so how do guys feel about women getting emotional validation from some dude face to face (paid of course, it makes all the difference), That is all Exactly. And you notice how Tanbark did everything in his power to avoid answering this. Proving my point again that men don't really care about women exploring their sexuality. They just want them to explort it within a narrow ideal that men wished it was. Alektra Clementine A- you are using too many words to get your point across. I heard a good piece of advice in a movie once. "Don't use seven words when four will do". I think that can be applied most anywhere. ESPECIALLY when communicating with the menfolk. Alektra, I appreciate the advice but the menfolk have been able to understand me just fine. This is the way I communicate. I am wordy but it is what it is. I won't dictate to you how your style should be okay? Try this: He goes out to the strip club and gets visually stimulated (there's no sex in the champagne room!) She stays home and puts on her best, most romantic, starring a super hunk of a guy, chick flick on DVD Meet up later and have a fantasy where she is the stripper he managed to take home, and he is the romantic man of her dreams crossing the threshold for their first kiss. I dunno, just thinking out loud. So the guy gets to go out and engage with a real woman and all she gets is a video tape? WTF, how is that even fair? I mean, I am sure lots of men would be happy with that because he gets the real deal and she gets to be at home with just a video. But that's is completely unfair.
Jaytb Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 So you're asking if men should allow their girlfriends to have phone sex with other men? I am against strip clubs and strippers though, and I'm a guy. (never been to one, don't want to). I think the line is drawn between 2 way or 1 way communication. One way: porn, pictures, etc. 2 way: strippers, prostitutes, phone sex, etc. I think if my girlfriend actually asked if she could use those phone sex lines, I probably would say yes as long as she is coming back to me. But I am in general against 2 way things because, from my point of view, I don't want to be in contact with other girls and interacting with them in naughty ways. If my gf had to, then I might accept it. (we don't see each other very often, so I understand the sexual needs that may arise).
tanbark813 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Exactly. And you notice how Tanbark did everything in his power to avoid answering this. 1. I did answer that. 2. I went along with your visual vs. verbal criteria. 3. I answered every question directly asked of me. 4. You don't want to listen to differing opinions anyway, JS. You just want everyone to blindly agree with you.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted July 8, 2009 Author Posted July 8, 2009 I missed it..what did you answer? And no, I don't want blind agreement. Strip clubs for men pure debauchery that have no emotion involved whatsoever. We go there to have a good time and when we leave it is over. Oh is that all? Gee, what were women thinking for being hurt by their male partners choosing a night of debauchery over her.
tanbark813 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I missed it..what did you answer? Uhhh, you're the one that said I did "everything in my power" to avoid answering it. Shouldn't you already know if you're making the accusation??? It was about the face-to-face thing. And, yes, you do want blind agreement. You blow off every opinion that differs from your own. I've participated in enough of these pointless threads to know that.
clv0116 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Such as the exception that he is dating multiple women behind her back because he is only worried about what he gets? She: "Are you seeing anyone else?" He: "I'm not in an exclusive relationship at the moment." Show me the secret.
rod_in_gtown Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 You're assuming that a woman is exclusively turned on by "emotions" while gearing up for sex and that that turn on is completely devoid of emotional attachment. An unrealistic view of women and how they "work". While men's view of porn/strip clubs as "visual" creatures IS completely devoid of emotional attachment. The hypothesis is unbalanced, argumentative and biased towards justifying your anti-porn/anti-strip-club views. HOWEVER, for the sake of argument. I'm going to assume that a woman's "emotional" turn on is completely detached from their emotional attachment as well as a man's "Visual" turn on is completely detached from emotional attachment, and are therefore in an even playing field. Then my answer to both questions is "yes, I would think it's ok and would have no problem with my partner doing so". Let me finish by saying, I think the "adult entertainment" industry (to broadly encompass both porn and strip clubs) are acceptable forms of entertainment. All parties involved get something out of it and at the end of the night everyone goes home happy. I am not a jealous man and I believe in trust in a relationship, therefore I would not have a problem with my partner seeking that casual "turn on" when it came to heighten her pleasure.
Thaddeus Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 And, yes, you do want blind agreement. You blow off every opinion that differs from your own. I've participated in enough of these pointless threads to know that. Glad it's not just me that noticed that. I wasn't sure if it was just ignorance or pure narcissism from our misandrist friend. Still don't know, but I suppose it doesn't really matter anyway. Thanks for the head's-up, Tanbark.
tanbark813 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Thanks for the head's-up, Tanbark. All in a day's work, my man.
Woggle Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 I missed it..what did you answer? And no, I don't want blind agreement. Oh is that all? Gee, what were women thinking for being hurt by their male partners choosing a night of debauchery over her. If a woman makes me choose between her and enjoying myself I will always choose the latter. If she doesn't whine about it she can be on equal footing.
You'reasian Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 Yes, I always thought inanimate objects were a much greater threat then real life people or images of real life people. . I am glad we agree, especially since all the vibrating, twisting, rabit ears and what have you desensitize...
You'reasian Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 You blow off every opinion that differs from your own. I've participated in enough of these pointless threads to know that. That pretty much sums up Jersey Shortie's posts.
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