nastyapple Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 My boyfriend and I broke up officially on Sunday. We'd been together for over a year and best friends for 4 years before that and we'd had brief (not serious) relationships during the time we were friends. We broke up because we argued about the same things so frequently, over and over. He broke my trust and was scared of losing me every time he made a mistake and so therefore told lies. At least that's the only reason I can think of why he would not tell the truth about little things that did not bother me, but he thought would anger me. (e.g. not waking up on time to meet me, and then making an excuse about it) We got tickets to a gig not this friday, but next, and were going to go together. I asked him if he was still up for coming along, and he said he would if he wasn't off work. We hadn't spoken since Sunday and I left him alone in the hope he would come to me. He has just called saying he wanted to come to the gig. I suggested taking someone else and he seemed pretty keen about coming with me. He asked what I'd been up to on the phone, and I played it cool. He mentioned going to parties, and I sounded totally cool with it and encouraged him to go. I really want to be with him, but I think he's given up hope on us. I know it can work. Do you think there's any chance? or am I just over analysing?
dxb Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 It's not enough for you to think it can work; both of you have to think that in order to have a chance. Personally I think it's impossible to be friends with someone you're in love with but here if you've been friends for four years before, I'm slightly less inclined to be so dismissive. But I would guard yourself against thinking anything is going to happen again. To be honest I think you need a lot more time apart before you should see each other again. Given the recentness of the break I might have said that perhaps a reconciliation is possible if the break-up was over something relatively trivial but come on. This guy broke your trust. How can you possibly want to be with someone you can't trust? If you do still go, enjoy the gig. But be prepared to be disappointed, and also be prepared for the possibility of him taking an interest in other women there. If you're not ready for that, don't go.
Author nastyapple Posted July 7, 2009 Author Posted July 7, 2009 He broke my trust by texting another girl when he was drunk. It almost tore us apart, but we got past it. I forgave him as he seemed really remorseful, and I was convinced he was truely sorry. He then however went on to let me down further by telling more lies - small trivial lies - but lies nonetheless. He has let me down by being late, but being horrible when he's drunk... But I truely believe he is not malicious. Whether that is the love talking or not, I don't know. He phoned me again later today, after the inital call about the gig. He asked me if we could meet up sometime. I asked when and he said whenever I like. I said sometime next week and I'd call him back (didn't want to sound too keen). I let things get the better of me though, and I called him back later in the day, to ask what he wanted to do and when. He said it didn't matter. I was totally confused. I asked if he didn't want to meet. He again, said it didn't matter and we'd do it another time. He said he was out at his friend's house. I am TOTALLY confused. I contemplated sending him a text message or email, telling him how I really feel. I respect him and I always have, and I don't feel right to act like this isn't bothering me when it is. Maybe I should? I'd just like someone else's take on this because I really don't know where I stand. Starting to think I'm wasting my time though.
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