My friend and heroin.

[t0ri]

So one of my best friends is gay, and I think he has become addicted to heroin. He uses drugs as an escape, I'm assuming. He absolutely hates his life because he is gay, and his family is very religious and against homosexuality. His family doesn't know about his sexuality, and he tells me all the time, "I will never be able to please my parents. Why was I born this way, it's not fair, etc." He also tells me that he hopes to die before he's 30. He's 22.

 

He became addicted to cocaine a few years ago, and his family finally found out about it and made him clean his act up, which he did successfully but it was short lived. Then he started popping pills, then tried meth, and then heroin. I know for a fact he still takes pills like hydrocodone and oxycontin, as he takes those in front of me. I have seen him smoke heroin one time, but he tells me he does not do it anymore. I do not do any drugs whatsoever, and I don't think he wants me to know he's hooked on H for whatever reason. I have always tried to be really comfortable to talk to, because I want to be there for him. I've never passed judgement on him for his choices, but I have made it clear that I worry about him and wish he would stop using drugs for good. I've suggested he go to counseling but he says that's too uncomfortable to open up to a stranger.

 

I don't know 100% for sure if he is still using H, but I think I have good reason to suspect so. We take college courses together, and he's constantly dozing off during class. He'll be sitting there text messaging, or taking notes, and his head will fall forward and he'll sleep for a minute or so. 85-90% of the time we're around each other, he has an awfully hard time staying awake. I've heard this is common in heroin users. Also, he'll leave class for 15 minutes at a time, and I am wondering if he goes to the bathroom to use? The other day he let me check something in his textbook while at school, and I opened it to find aluminum foil sheets (which I know he uses to smoke H). One time he was driving with me in the car and started to doze off.

 

He just won the lottery, a HUGE lump sum, and I'm worried he's going to go overboard with the drugs because he can blow all the money he wants now! He was dozing off as usual today in class, but it seemed worse than normal so I asked him if he was high. He told me he had smoked pot earlier and was burnt. I don't believe that. He makes up excuses to cover what he's really doing. For example, I had to wait for him to "use the bathroom" the other day, and he was in there for a good 20 minutes and came out saying the toilet had overflowed and he had to clean up the water. Less than 5 minutes later, he's dozing off while he's smoking a cigarette!

 

So first off, does this sound like he's using H again? And secondly, how can I help him? He lies to me about H, if he is indeed using it as I suspect. I know he has to want to help himself, right? I just want to help him in any way that I can because I love him dearly as he's one of my best friends and I've known him for 7 years. I don't want to see him end up hurt or dead and feel guilty that I could have done more to help him.

 

It's been suggested to me that I tell his parents anonymously, or not. Any suggestions?

[mark982]

first off i know nothing about herion,hell i've never even seen it. but you can't help someone who don't want help.i do think his being gay is eating at him,suggest therapy for it,so he can come to terms w/ it.

[kizik]

OK, yes, this is heroin. I would distance yourself from this person, as he is endangering your safety (nodding off while driving you around!!!).

 

Don't try to understand it, don't enable him, just get away. You can't save him and only he can help himself.

[maleet]

So one of my best friends is gay, and I think he has become addicted to heroin. He uses drugs as an escape, I'm assuming. He absolutely hates his life because he is gay, and his family is very religious and against homosexuality. His family doesn't know about his sexuality, and he tells me all the time, "I will never be able to please my parents. Why was I born this way, it's not fair, etc." He also tells me that he hopes to die before he's 30. He's 22.

 

He became addicted to cocaine a few years ago, and his family finally found out about it and made him clean his act up, which he did successfully but it was short lived. Then he started popping pills, then tried meth, and then heroin. I know for a fact he still takes pills like hydrocodone and oxycontin, as he takes those in front of me. I have seen him smoke heroin one time, but he tells me he does not do it anymore. I do not do any drugs whatsoever, and I don't think he wants me to know he's hooked on H for whatever reason. I have always tried to be really comfortable to talk to, because I want to be there for him. I've never passed judgement on him for his choices, but I have made it clear that I worry about him and wish he would stop using drugs for good. I've suggested he go to counseling but he says that's too uncomfortable to open up to a stranger.

 

I don't know 100% for sure if he is still using H, but I think I have good reason to suspect so. We take college courses together, and he's constantly dozing off during class. He'll be sitting there text messaging, or taking notes, and his head will fall forward and he'll sleep for a minute or so. 85-90% of the time we're around each other, he has an awfully hard time staying awake. I've heard this is common in heroin users. Also, he'll leave class for 15 minutes at a time, and I am wondering if he goes to the bathroom to use? The other day he let me check something in his textbook while at school, and I opened it to find aluminum foil sheets (which I know he uses to smoke H). One time he was driving with me in the car and started to doze off.

 

He just won the lottery, a HUGE lump sum, and I'm worried he's going to go overboard with the drugs because he can blow all the money he wants now! He was dozing off as usual today in class, but it seemed worse than normal so I asked him if he was high. He told me he had smoked pot earlier and was burnt. I don't believe that. He makes up excuses to cover what he's really doing. For example, I had to wait for him to "use the bathroom" the other day, and he was in there for a good 20 minutes and came out saying the toilet had overflowed and he had to clean up the water. Less than 5 minutes later, he's dozing off while he's smoking a cigarette!

 

So first off, does this sound like he's using H again? And secondly, how can I help him? He lies to me about H, if he is indeed using it as I suspect. I know he has to want to help himself, right? I just want to help him in any way that I can because I love him dearly as he's one of my best friends and I've known him for 7 years. I don't want to see him end up hurt or dead and feel guilty that I could have done more to help him.

 

It's been suggested to me that I tell his parents anonymously, or not. Any suggestions?

 

 

I am sorry, yes he IS using H again... I know this because I had used for 2.5 years and just passed a year this April. If his pupils are small all of the time and he is nodding out (and smoking like a chimney) then yes. Sorry to tell you that.

 

ONE thing you need to remember- an addict will not quit unless they WANT to stop. I didnt want to stop for the longest time and after so many failed attempts i finally did kick it cold turkey and was sick for 10 days. It was horrible. I wish you and your friend good luck.