manzana Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 My boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago, but he still keeps my pictures on his facebook, he is even going out with someone else and when she tags him in a picture, he deletes it. He has not called me in all this time, oonly once he sent me an e-mail (just a joke he sent to all of his friends). Our relationship was very strong, we even dream of having kids.. I dont know why he changed like that, but I keep hopes he will, one day, come back.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 No one can read the future and tell you if he'll come back. I'll tell you the hard facts we all (including me) face. There is only a 4% chance you will get back with someone you broke up with. That means there is a 96% chance you will not get back together.
gmogmo321 Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 No one can read the future and tell you if he'll come back. I'll tell you the hard facts we all (including me) face. There is only a 4% chance you will get back with someone you broke up with. That means there is a 96% chance you will not get back together. Where do you get those numbers that 4% chance people get back together?
SRTtoZ Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I think that 4% chance thing is wrong...I mean I've had a bunch of relationships and Ive given many second/third chances...so Idk about 4%.
hopesndreams Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Six months is such a long time and with only one phone call in that time, it doesn't look good. Besides, he's with someone else now, so that means off limits, right? While you are off in false hope land, you could be passing up on some really nice single guys that might like to get to know you.
Giha Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 Keeping your hopes up is a bad bad BAD thing to do Do yourself a favor - don't. (I'm not saying there's no chance it will happen, but keeping your hopes up will eventually make you feel alot worse if it does not happen)
Thomas X Forever Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 I think that 4% chance thing is wrong...I mean I've had a bunch of relationships and Ive given many second/third chances...so Idk about 4%. You don't understand. It's a 4% chance the relationship will survive after a break up. That's what I meant. 4% chance you will get back and stay together. You prove the statistic. Every relationship failed.
BCCA Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 I think that 4% chance thing is wrong...I mean I've had a bunch of relationships and Ive given many second/third chances...so Idk about 4%. Did they work out? Thats not to say that you wont get back together, temporarily, but only about 30-40% of people have second chances, and only about 10% of those work out. Thats 4%
Thomas X Forever Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Experience? Observation? Other peoples experiences? Logic? Reason? How many people do YOU know of that broke up, who are together and still together after all? I only know one couple out've my entire life, and he's an idiot for taking her back, she cheated more than once. Idiocy is the only exception so far.
BCCA Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 But where do you get these figures from? Case studies of relationships I worked on for my psych major. You can look up an number of relationship studies, and come up with almost the same stats. I didnt make them up, theyre completely true. The only wild card is gender. Men are something like 8-1 more likely to come back than women, but even then...again, we're talking 3-5% chance at the most.
Leveller Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Studies in US cities? Western societies, farmsteads in Ruanda where? I've taken part in some of these pychology studies when I was doing my PhD and my experience is the sample is no small and restricted that almost no meaning can be attached. It doesn't neccessarily matter that the second chance lasted foreover but that it occurred. I have encountered lots and lots of second chances and have had them myself. I'll tell you something from my experience the individual dynamics matter as does cause and IME the percentage is far higher than 4%. Moreover I am glad to this day I had the second chances I have. Never knowing whether it would have worked or not would have been far worse.
BCCA Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Studies in US cities? Western societies, farmsteads in Ruanda where? I've taken part in some of these pychology studies when I was doing my PhD and my experience is the sample is no small and restricted that almost no meaning can be attached. It doesn't neccessarily matter that the second chance lasted foreover but that it occurred. I have encountered lots and lots of second chances and have had them myself. I'll tell you something from my experience the individual dynamics matter as does cause and IME the percentage is far higher than 4%. Moreover I am glad to this day I had the second chances I have. Never knowing whether it would have worked or not would have been far worse. These are from the US. I'll give you that people seeing counslers and agreeing to participate in research dont represent the whole group, but I completely disagree that no meaning can be attached. 4% of 1000 people, no matter who they are, is enough of a sample for SOME credibility (not saying the study is only 1k people, but even that is a sample worth looking into) The second paragraph doesnt make a lot of sense. It absolutely DOES matter if the second chance lasted, otherwise its kind of pointless. I think a lot of people TRY a second chance, but they hardly ever work out, thats the point. Trying again will probably not be any better, so dont feel so bad if you dont get the opportunity. You can assume it wouldnt have worked out, based on the fact that your other second chances didnt, though, no? So its not like you have to try it again to be sure.
fani Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 But there is nothing to say that you will not be that lucky 4%
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