aloneanddepressed Posted July 7, 2009 Posted July 7, 2009 I had previously posted in the breakup section about my bf ignoring me after argument. anyways, i was thinking I would ask someone's opinion about the argument we had. This is pretty personal and sorry if I offend anyone, but unfortunately argument was related to sex lol. Anyways, on Wed night, I was feeling a little moody, which Im sure didn't help the argument. I had told him earlier while we were sitting on couch that I think i was sexually frustrated.....in a cute way that is. Ok, so keep in mind the Monday of this week...I JUST helped "him", if you know what I mean. we ended up being intimate that night, and usually my bf would act like he really wants me to climax during sex. he would literally mention it during sex. this time, if i remember correctly, he was asking me if i wanted him to climax...and then he did probably less than 10 min. he has always held out, and he acted like it had been a while so he couldn't control it. I do not mind this at all, but keep in mind i had already told him specifically i was horny that night lol. its fine if he orgasms and i dont, BUT.....after he was done he didn't even act like he cared if i did, or say anything regarding it. i then went to the bathroom for a min as usual, and when i came out, he had went into kitchen got a drink, and apparently went to computer messing with computer games .....i went and sat down on couch again in living room next to him . i couldn't help myself, i was in an even worse mood. dont get me wrong i love just having sex with him and being close, but of all nights i really felt like i needed to climax and he didn't seem to care that night. i asked him if he knew i didn't get off and all he said was "oh...im sorry" in a careless way. i tried to control how i felt, and went on into bedroom and he was shortly coming to bed. i told him i couldnt sleep i was frustrated and asked why he didn't offer to help me and honestly everything seemed to be about him tonight. we got into an argument over this, and all he did was turn away from me and say" i have to go to sleep....i have to work tomorrow".....eventually i start crying..yeah i know stupid, but he was turning his back to me and i felt alone and so frustrated! i felt like he was being so thoughtless. i don't know if i overeacted..i felt i did a little, but the thing is i wasnt mad because he got off and i didn't....its the fact that he acted like he cared less if i did.....and of all nights when he knew i was very frustrated. my question is.....was he being insensitive and a jerk, or what? then i got so upset i slept in other room and couldn't hardly sleep all night....the next day.....i again tried to talk to him about this and basically make up, but he acted like he didn't have time and he had to go to work....which was true but still. its like he wanted to avoid me or discussing anything. i know a big deal was made out of something silly, but at the same time what girl wants to feel like a guy doesn't care about her needs, especially during making love? he hasn't spoken to me since......so i don't know..i feel a little bad about how i acted but was it all my fault .i dont think so........what do you think? thanks:(
kyle1234 Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 if you want to talk about you can private message me...i be glad to help
TaraMaiden Posted July 8, 2009 Posted July 8, 2009 You cannot PM each other. Your membership is either too new, or you have not accumulated sufficient posts. I know, I tried shortly after I joined, and I had to garner around 100 posts/be here over a period of time, or something. Anyway, alone, this was a selfish action on his part, and actions speak louder than words. Either he's really not as committed to this realtionship as you are, and sees this as just a way of telling you, or in his eyes, he's cooling it. Sex is a fundamental ingredient to any relationship, that is seeking to be fruitful and enjoyable. Sex is not always going to be mind-blowingly explosive, or earth-shatteringly wonderful. Most times, truth be told - it's about average/ok.... But be that as it may, sex is a whole lot better when both are enjoying it, and helping the other person enjoy it too. Sometimes it's more geared one way, at times, it shifts the focus the other way...give and take. Maybe on this occasion, you were over-reacting, but for him to ignore you and not talk to you, in my opinion is both childish - and a red flag. Forget about it for now. Move on. But if you end up having sex again, wait until 2 or 3 times before watching for a pattern. Chances are the next time you have sex, he'll be "trying to make it up to you" and focus on you. OK, great, go with that! But watch for reverting to odd behaviour the next time, and the one after that. If you want to hang around that long, that is......
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