chimcharlie Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 Hello, never thought I'd do this but the risk factor here is so high I need a solid plan / advice before making any sort of decisions. This is going to be a hell of a long post, sorry in advance but everything needs to be laid out. First off, a brief history. I've known this girl for over a year now, she is the best friend of a girl that hangs around with our friend group and is now "part" of that friend group, its not really important but most of my friends know her well. She's had a boyfriend for 2 years, pretty much the entire time I've known her. He doesn't live here he works far away all the time, and only comes down for a few weekends a month. This girl would go out to the bar with us and hang out all summer, and she is an extremely touchy feely drunk... but only to certain people. One night me and her ended up very drunk (her especially) and were dancing together and flirting (I feel so wierd flirting with her so it's usually only from her end) and we ended up laying together at her friends apartment and although I was wasted and it's blurry, she definitely tried to kiss me and I stopped her... we then passed out. Apparently a few weeks later I was blackout drunk and told a group of people we hooked up for reasons I'll never know, she found out and confronted me and I told everyone it was just fabricated bull**** (which it obviously is, but I feel there is some truth to it). Later that night I pulled her aside and told her what had happened, she denied it and freaked out and it was a big situation. I saw her again 2 weeks later when we were going on a large camping trip, I know this sounds like I'm a raging alcoholic but I don't drink much, I had hard alcohol poured into my beer bong. Anyways apparently I was profusely apologizing to her all weekend and she forgave me. This is all last summer so it's a bit hazy, but after that over the next few months we grew closer and closer and I can definitely call her my best friend, probably more so than my guy friends. Anyways the drunken flirting toned down a ton besides a few nights, and 2 months ago she decided she needed a roommate and asked me to move in. I've never met her boyfriend before, but obviously living there he was eventually going to meet me. I've seen him probably a total of 3 times and have just said hey how is it going, he seems like a nice guy though. We watch a ton of movies together but one of us always gets the couch and the other sits on the single sofa or lays on the floor, strictly platonic etc. However this last month and especially this last week has been quite ridiculous and just really opened up a bunch of questions in my head. Ever since I've moved in I obviously hear a bunch of her conversations (I don't intentionally listen, walls are paper thing in that place). A couple nights after the bar she has gotten extremely pissed off at her BF but always seemed to be fine the next day. Last wednesday we were celebrating Canada Day with a bunch of friends and our plan was to drink at our place and then walk 6 blocks to a hill to watch the fireworks. She drank way too much (first time shes done this in months) and turned into the girl from last summer. She was taking forever to leave so everyone left and I waited for her, we ended up doing the walk just me and her. The whole time it was ridiculous, she was rubbing me all over with her hands and had her hands in my pockets and kept kissing my neck and shoulders... playfully punching me etc... I felt great and horrible at the same time, it was very awkward for me. I was drunk but nothing crazy. Anyways we ended up back at our place, she continued to do this and finally she went to her room and passed out while I watched a movie... next morning no mention of anything I just told her all the stupid stuff she did to embarass herself, nothing about the touching etc. Fast forward to this saturday, I'm at a cabin and she was in her hometown for an old friends wedding... I get a call around 10:30 at night from her (she is drunk), I don't remember exactly her words but it was along the lines of "You are my best friend so I am telling you this, I think I might want to go for the single life and how "something" had happened" and I'm pretty sure I avoided talking about it and just asked her how the wedding was going and how my night was going and that was that. 2 hours later she calls me and had obviously been crying, I asked her what she was so upset about and she avoided the issue... I still have no idea why she called me. I figured it was just drunken stupidity like usual and that nothing had actually happened. But last night when she got back home she was extremely sad and would skirt around how the wedding went and just wanted to know how my weekend was... I knew something was up but I just ignored it completely. I don't know what happened, and I am certainly not going to ask... time will tell if she broke up with him or not but obviously there are some issues. To sum up where I am at, I really like this girl and have for a long time. We get along so good that it's scary at times... but obviously I am in the friend zone and that was fine when she had a BF. However if she breaks up with him I absolutely have to put my foot down and say something, I have to know if the feelings are mutual. I just need to know if there is anything I should be doing right now or later, or the best plan to do this... it's pretty serious stuff and groundbreaking for me. Thanks for reading, any questions will be answered.
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